Water Lilies
by Museless Fool
Summary: AU. Ami is a country doctor living a fairly peaceful life. Makoto is a botanist who constantly travels. Their past shares a friendship but what of their future? Yuri.
1. Down the Mountain

_Disclaimer: Makoto Kino and Ami Mizuno belong to Naoko Takeuchi...the rest belongs to me._

A/N: Please forgive the artistic liberties taken in this story. Mount Yukikura is real. I borrowed the name to give the mountain and village where Ami is located an authentic feel for the story.

* * *

Chapter 1: Down the Mountain

"Maya-san," Dr. Ami Mizuno paused before she completed the rest of the sentence, "perhaps it's time to reconsider moving in with Takeda-san and Yumi-san."

A chuckle combined with a twinkle in the dark eyes in the elder woman who sat across from Ami indicated she was far from offended at the younger woman's suggestion. "Ami-chan," name said fondly, Maya merely smiled as she replied, "I was born in this house and I intend to stay here until the gods tell me it is time to pass on."

Ami smiled back before taking a sip of the tea the older woman provided. It was an old argument between doctor and patient. Concern for the elderly woman living alone halfway up the mountain constantly motivated Ami to persuade Maya to move in with her son and daughter-in-law. Most of the time the argument was in the form of light banter between the two, however the woman was serious about having Maya move in with Takeda and his wife. She did not care that coming to Maya's house resulted in a forty-five minute trip, she enjoyed the routine house calls to patients; at home they were far more relaxed which ensured a better patient. No, the argument existed solely because Maya had watched Ami grow up from a toddler, resulting in a relationship of that of a relative. And the older woman certainly treated her kindly, as kindly as Ami's own grandmother, Hana. The idea that anything could happen to Maya up here in the mountain without anyone knowing anything made Ami press the issue.

But Maya was a stubborn old woman who refused to budge, also much like Hana. Ami swallowed a sigh along with the remaining bit of delicious green tea. There was no point in continuing the conversation now. She glanced outdoors through the wide door left open to provide light and air into the living room of the traditional style house, and judged it was time to get going, Maya was her last appointment for the day.

"If you'll excuse me, Maya-san." She stood up and waited as the old woman did as well.

"Of course," the older woman smiled kindly again.

"Thank you for the tea and cakes, they were delicious as always," the polite words flowed out of Ami with an unconscious grace followed by a bow. She picked up the worn canvas backpack beside her and settled it onto her shoulders.

"Nonsense," Maya replied, placing a wrinkled hand on Ami's cheek, "no need to be so polite child, but it's always nice to receive thanks." Ami blushed lightly at the contact and words. "And, I should be thanking you for all the good you do as well." The doctor's cheeks darkened at the compliment.

"Thank you," she bowed again before remembering, "Oh, I'll be back on the fifth to see you again. Is that date convenient?" Maya agreed it was.

The old woman followed her to the door and waved as Ami took off down the path. The last hour of sunlight laced through the treetops and spilled onto the floor of the earth. On the mountain beneath the trees, dusk and darkness arrived faster than at the base of the mountain where the village, Ami's destination, lay. This was Ami's favorite time of day in the mountain. Once in a while glimpses of the rice fields of the Yukikura village could be seen through the trees. Ami walked slowly, enjoying the view. A scent of jasmine wafted over her, carried on a light breeze and a flash of emerald eyes entered her thoughts.

The gentle smile Ami wore dimmed and even the sight of the rice paddy dancing in the wind below her failed to bring it back. She sighed out loud this time and continued walking down the path,the muscles of her legs flexing, her shorts showing off her creamy skin only to be interrupted by socks tucked into hiking boots. The daylight started to fade as she came to see her bicycle resting against a tree near the path. The rest of way up to Maya's house was too steep for the bike and so she usually left it at the halfway point.

No one really knew but it gave Ami a thrill to coast down the remainder of the way on her metallic blue cruiser, her fingers hovering over the brakes. A grin broke out on her flushed face, there was nothing in her thoughts now but the flight down the mountain as it raced to evade the growing darkness behind her. The grin widened as she maneuvered over a jutting rock sending the bike and its rider airborne for a moment . Legs and arms braced for impact, Ami bounced back onto the seat as the wheels hit the ground, thinking how grateful she was that her teen-aged neighbor offered to switch the typical wheels of the cruiser with a type usually found on mountain bikes. The path evened out, gradually easing into a dirt road leading to the village and Ami gently squeezed the brakes, slowing her pace. It would not do to have the village doctor riding like a hooligan from a big city.

And it would be much worse if word got to Hana about her riding habits. Her grandmother was a force to be reckoned with and stubborn, if not more so than Maya. Ami felt love and exasperation at the thought of the woman who had taken care of her from the moment they first met. Ami did not remember much of the time before the old woman entered her life. There were vague memories of a large, loud city. She had faint recollections of her parents. She knew from Hana's stories that Ami and her parents lived in Tokyo, until the tragic accident that took their lives. Ami was also in the car at the time, the only one to survive. Hana Masuyo arrived the day after the accident to take care of her deceased daughter's affairs and to take Ami into her custody. It was the first time they met.

When Ami was five years old she had already known what career she wanted. Hana was a doctor who ran a clinic in Yukikura Village offering health care to the residents of the area. Loved by all, Hana was kind but strict when necessary when it came to her diminutive granddaughter or even a wayward patient. A strong woman with a sense of justice, she believed everyone had the right to free health care. She often made house calls whenever a patient could not come to her, taking her shy but smart blue-haired granddaughter with her.

Ami learned a lot by helping out in the clinic and acting as Hana's attendant during home visits. Instilled with a strong work ethic and having a penchant for seeking knowledge, she completed high school at sixteen and made her way to university in Tokyo. Returning to Yukikura with her doctorate in medicine she was shocked when Hana declared she was retiring and Ami was her replacement. When Ami started to offer an objection, Hana stated how proud she was of her granddaughter along with the rest of the village. Ami could say nothing but give them reason for the pride and trust placed in her hands.

Twenty-nine now, and mostly content with her life, Ami found work satisfying. She was fulfilled in the career department. However, her love life gave her plenty of reason for discontentment but she refused to let it affect her. She pedaled slowly before coming to a stop before the large traditional house. Years ago, Hana converted part of the building into the clinic, Ami walked over to the structure and slid the door open. Placing her bag near her desk, she closed the door behind her and turned to the house proper. Despite the size it was kept in immaculate condition, the work of both Hana and Ami.

Pausing to pull the hiking boots off her feet Ami noticed there was an extra pair in the entryway, one that was two sizes larger and did not belong to her. Dread filled her at the realization that she very well knew who the owner of the boots were. A low chuckle and her grandmother's laugh drifted through the house and Ami stepped quietly through the rooms towards the inner courtyard.

Hana sat side by side with a tall, tanned woman with sparkling green eyes and lush mahogany hair in a ponytail. Ami stood still, looking upon the scene of the old and young woman. Hana puffed on a kiseru, the long-stemmed pipe at home with the older woman while the tall brunette sipped on a beer. The conversation between the woman and her grandmother was too low for her ears, murmurs escaping into the oncoming dark never to be heard again. The tall woman took more than a sip this time and Ami found her gaze glued to the column of the woman's throat as she swallowed the cold beverage.

The doctor found herself strangely thirsty. Perhaps she made a sound because the woman turned and spotted her, a huge smile decorating her lips, her teeth brilliantly white in her tanned face. Hana looked over as well.

"Ami! It's about time you got back," the woman grinned, "come, have a beer with us."

Ami smiled back, it took quite a bit of effort to summon the gesture. Her feet moved on their own and soon she found herself at the woman's side. "Makoto," she simply said, before the brunette caught her in a hug.

Hana might be old but her shrewd, dark eyes had not missed the look on Ami's face before the smile, nor had she missed the trembling of her granddaughter's lips before a mask had slipped into place. She returned the pipe between her thin lips again and stared out into the dusk. Fireflies danced into the oncoming darkness and she followed their path, her eyes turned away from the two women beside her.

* * *

Next chapter: How Ami and Makoto met.


	2. Falling

_Disclaimer: The following characters belong to Naoko Takeuchi._

_Note: A list of everyone's ages - Ami 16, Usagi 18, Makoto 19. _

_This chapter does not have a beta, however it has been revised by me. I will continue revising up to chapter nine since I did not have a beta up until that point. The content is basically the same, however, I tried to add a bit more description. The grammar may not be perfect but hopefully it's not too atrocious either. Thank you for reading.  
_

* * *

Chapter 2: Falling

"Ami Mizuno, meet Makoto Kino," introduced Usagi Tsukino with a happy grin. Sunlight turned the blonde's long ponytails into burnished golden tails and the poetic side of Ami might have taken note of the lovely image but Usagi was forgotten for a moment as Ami stared at the gorgeous vision in front of her. Makoto Kino, with her rich mahogany brown hair and emerald eyes stood next to Usagi without a self-conscious bone in her tall toned body. _And what a lovely body it was_, Ami thought to herself without a hint of lasciviousness. Even if she had felt any lust at that moment Ami would not have been aware of it. The sixteen year old was knowledgeable in many things, but of her own budding sexuality she was not.

Ami gulped as her hand came into contact with the tall woman's; her own feeling rather small in the larger woman's calloused grasp. Green eyes scrutinized her, a hint of mirth and curiosity lurking within their forest-like depths. She colored at the inquisitive look, unaware she was holding her breath as Makoto's gaze lingered on her eyes and lips. A not so subtle throat-clearing drew Ami out of her daze and her blush deepened.

"Nice to meet you," she blurted, relieved that she did not stutter.

"Likewise!" Makoto grinned, exposing brilliant white teeth in the process.

Ami suddenly found herself at a loss for words, her shyness apparent. Luckily for her, Makoto did not seem to notice nor paid notice to her bashfulness. Instead she addressed what everyone else thought but did not say upon meeting the sixteen year old.

"You look really young. Like, high school young." Makoto was rewarded with a smack on her arm by Usagi for her bluntness.

"Mako-chan!" Usagi's tone conveyed her reproach along with the unvoiced question, _Don't you have any tact at all?_

"What?" The tall woman rolled her eyes at Usagi but continued to grin at Ami.

"It's okay, Usagi. Everyone thinks it anyway," replied Ami with a small smile before explaining to Makoto, "I'm sixteen. I graduated high school early."

"Whoa, really? What's your field?" There was genuine interest in the twinkling green eyes and in the voice of Makoto.

"Family medicine," Ami answered a little shyly. Usually quite self-conscious, she had a tendency of of becoming even more bashful when mentioning any topic relating to her dream of becoming a doctor.

"A doctor? I'm _very_ impressed." There was new found respect in Makoto's voice as Ami nodded in response to the brunette's question.

Makoto laughed as if a sudden thought struck her and the teenager watched as afternoon sunshine danced over Makoto's features, from her radiant white teeth to the highlights of lush chocolaty hair. "Hey Usagi, you have a genius for a roommate! Maybe now some of her brilliance will rub off and you'll finally get some good grades," Makoto nudged Usagi who countered the brunette with a glower.

"Hardly a genius, Makoto-san. And I'm only a first year," Ami deflected humbly, before asking "what are you studying?" She intended to defuse Usagi's annoyance towards the tall woman but she realized she was also very curious.

"Botany, especially the ecological aspects. I'm in my second year. And please, just call me Makoto," The brunette answered before giving a charming flick of her hand as if chasing away all formality.

The younger woman smiled, "That's wonderful, Makoto. And you find time to play basketball as well," Ami could not hide the admiration in her voice if she tried.

"You've seen me play?" Makoto appeared surprised. Ami figured it was because her own studious image did not fit the type to be found near a basketball court; much less know the location of one.

"I dragged her to a game the other day," Usagi answered before Ami could.

The brunette smirked, "You just came by to ogle a sweaty Mamoru, didn't you?"

Ami's lips twitched as she tried to suppress a smile when Makoto stated the real reason why Usagi was so into basketball. She was enjoying the friendly banter and apparent closeness these two shared.

After becoming fast friends with Ami, the blonde had been pretty blatant about her interest in the popular dark-haired student, Mamoru Chiba. Upon disclosing her crush she inquired about Ami's love life in return and the teen simply blushed before mentioning she did not have any crushes or otherwise.

To Ami's consternation, Usagi then exclaimed it was her mission to introduce Ami to new people. Ami had waved off the suggestion, thinking perhaps in time Usagi would forget. She did not have time to date, she was only interested in studying. The more she studied the better she would do, placing her a step closer to her dream.

Then she had found herself at a basketball game sitting beside an enthusiastic and rowdy Usagi who yelled out encouragement for the team Mamoru was on. She did not particularly care for the game but Usagi's behavior was interesting to watch. Until she found her gaze glued to a tall brunette with striking features who played intensely, if not more so than the men on the court. She could not move her eyes away from the woman who stood close enough at times for Ami to see the perspiration trailing down various exposed body parts.

And now the woman was standing right here with her having a conversation. _This is certainly a surprising turn of events_, thought Ami. It was quite unexpected finding out Usagi knew Makoto. She was pulled from her thoughts as the athletic woman spoke again.

"Well if you were there why didn't you bring cute Ami to say hello?" Makoto asked her blonde friend.

The word cute followed by her name sent the blood rushing to Ami's cheeks again as she listened to the two friends. She could not comprehend exactly why she felt such elation at Makoto calling her cute.

"And risk getting trampled by your little fan girls?" Usagi laughed, "No, thank you."

At the term fan girls, Ami subtly surveyed their surroundings and noticed a few women gazing adoringly at Makoto while some directed glares at Ami and more particularly at Usagi. A chill ran down her back at the flagrant animosity. Ami wondered why for a moment before she understood the girls were jealous at the rapport Usagi clearly shared with their idol. At the same time Makoto seemed to realize the outdoors were no longer safe as she noticed the growing amount of women nearby.

"Er-I don't think it's a good time to continue chatting. I was hoping to avoid any groups on my way out," Makoto admitted with a sheepish grin.

"Oh, that's too bad," said Usagi with far too much cheer. Ami thought to herself how she'd never really seen the somewhat sadistic side of the blonde until now and hid a smile behind her hand.

"Whatever." The brunette did not bother replying to Usagi's smart-aleck comment. "It was very nice meeting you Dr. Ami," she turned to the sixteen year old, lightly touching her shoulder before adding with a charming smile, "I hope we meet again." The advent of the nickname combined with the touch on her shoulder sent Ami's heart reeling.

Makoto walked away a few steps before turning around again, "Call me later, bunny-girl," she took off, her long legs easily allowing her to overtake other students walking along the path. Ami watched her walk away before turning back to Usagi.

"Bunny-girl?" Ami asked with a raised eyebrow.

"She knows I hate it when she calls me that," Usagi explained with a light scowl before her expression transformed into a grin, "don't you dare try it!"

-x-x-x-

A few nights after being introduced to Makoto, Ami could not sleep. Despite a long day of classes and studying she did not feel tired in the least. Her mind wandered over to Usagi, the blonde woman was most likely asleep already, Ami surmised as she looked at the clock. She thought back to the first time they met. Ami was anxious about having a roommate, thinking perhaps the roommate would be less than happy sharing with a sixteen year old. Instead Usagi surprised Ami with her friendly attitude and her willingness to be friends with someone younger than herself. They quickly became close encouraged by the blonde's frank and sweet personality. Thanks to Usagi's friendship her days were a little brighter; she did not feel so homesick for Yukikura.

She already knew having Usagi in her life was something to be treasured. Wondering if she would ever meet other friends like Usagi, her thoughts segued over to Makoto. She was charmed by the athletic woman who had a confidence unlike anyone Ami had ever met. Images from the first time she saw the brunette flashed like a montage in her mind. She recalled the focused green gaze of the woman as she expertly handled the basketball, the sweat on her skin glistening. Hair slashing the air as her movement across the court echoed a dancing ballerina, grace evident in every action. Fierce and beautiful, Makoto's muscles sinuously moved underneath lightly bronzed skin.

A squeezing in her chest left her alarmed, she placed a hand over her heart only to find it beating rapidly under her palm. She let out a breath, realizing she held it for the longest time. She felt overly warm especially her face. Her first thoughts were there had to be something medically wrong with her. Ami didn't think she was having a heart attack, there was no tingling along her left arm or any other symptoms associated with it. _How curious. I hope I'm not getting sick._

Eventually, she slept.

-x-x-x-

The next day in class, a tired Ami discreetly yawned while she paid attention to the professor as he ventured into a long winded explanation of common medical practices of old. She sat near a window enjoying whatever little breeze meandered through when a laugh drifted by. Because she was only on the second floor she was able to discern a brunette lazily walking by with an unfamiliar blonde. The tall woman seemed to be enjoying herself, joking back and forth with the woman and Ami drank in the sight of a happy Makoto.

The brunette wore cut-off jeans just above her knees, sneakers and a green button down shirt opened at the throat. The sleeves rolled up to her elbows revealed strong forearms. Ami smiled when Makoto turned to the blonde, raised her hands in the air and waved them wildly as if to illustrate whatever point she was making before laughing out loud again. She wished she was close enough to hear what Makoto was saying.

"Mizuno-san!"

Ami glanced to the front of the room, everyone turned to stare at her and she flushed.

"Y-yes, Mashima sensei?" She wished the floor would open up and swallow her whole, all the attention made her want to hide. Usually Ami did not mind being called out in class, her embarrassment stemmed from the fact everyone knew she had not been paying attention.

"Since you seem to already know the material kindly tell us about the Hippocratic Oath."

Ami easily recited all she knew of the topic, leaving a few students impressed and gaping. The professor seemed satisfied.

"Very well, Mizuno-san. However, please leave the daydreaming at home next time."

"Ye-yes sir!" she stuttered. A few classmates tittered before the professor requested their audience again.

A frown marred her features as contemplated how she could let herself get so distracted in class.

-x-x-x-

"Alright Ami, what's wrong?"

"Huh?" Startled out of her textbook Ami looked up at her roommate. "What makes you think something is wrong, Usagi?"

"You've been acting odd for a few weeks now. Plus, you've been reading the same page for thirty minutes. I know the textbook can't be that interesting. " The blonde pointed out, a smirk on her lips before her expression changed to one of concern. "You've been distracted, you study twice as much and you're not getting enough sleep."

Ami flushed at Usagi's words. The woman was right, despite staring at the pages spread out before her not one word made it into her consciousness. She cringed inwardly as she opened her mouth to deny the charge. About to commit a wrong, she could not see any other path in front of her.

"Nothing is wrong, Usagi. I'm just a bit nervous about the upcoming exams." This was the first time she lied to the blonde and she hoped Usagi could not tell the difference. In a way it _was_ true, due to her unusual behavior she was doing poorly in her classes which increased her anxiety. It was a vicious cycle, she worried about her grades and increased her study time. It left her tired and frustrated with thoughts of Makoto constantly intruding.

Due to her shy nature she did not feel comfortable enough to tell Usagi the root of the problem. She thought she would be able to resolve it on her own. But no resolution loomed on the horizon, instead sleepless nights left plenty of room to think about the woman and in the daytime the incessant hope of running into her on campus provided ample confusion. Ami was at her wits end but refused to acknowledge the fact much less disclosing her dilemma to someone else; even if that someone else was her best friend.

"Okay," Usagi looked at her, doubt written on her face but she decided not to push the issue. Ami, while grateful for the reprieve could not rid herself of the guilt she felt. She hoped whatever this problem was, it would solve itself soon enough.

-x-x-x-

Usagi looked up in the midst of eating, her eyes narrowed. She was having dinner with her younger roommate in their dorm room. Ami sighed before laying her chopsticks down neatly and Usagi decided it was time to put at end to this. This-meaning the continued lack of focus, loss of appetite and constant distractions the younger woman obviously experienced. The exams were two weeks behind them and Ami's behavior had not changed one bit although the teenager did seem somewhat relieved with her passing grades.

Laying her chopsticks aside as well, Usagi finished chewing, her blue eyes reflecting worry.

Ami seemed distant as ever, she did not realize the blonde sitting across from her was giving her a thorough once-over. She jumped when Usagi spoke quietly, startled out of her reverie "Okay, this has gone on long enough."

Ami opened her mouth to ask what she meant but closed it as Usagi shot her a look, shock overtaking her when she realized the older woman was angry. The blonde could see her gentle tone surprised Ami when she continued.

"All of this-" Usagi waved her hand in a semi-circle to mean an all encompassing gesture regarding the situation, "it's obvious to me it isn't just about the exams. I'm not completely sure what it _is_ about but you need to talk."

The younger woman's eyes watered at Usagi's kind tone.

"I want to help you Ami. You're a good friend and I don't want to lose what we have. I'm worried. Really worried, because you don't eat or sleep and you're constantly out of it and I can't recall the last time you acted like yourself. Granted, we've only been friends for a few months but this Ami I am seeing, it's not you."

Ami nodded, taking a deep breath. "I'm-I'm not sure where to begin."

"The beginning is always nice." Usagi joked. She was rewarded with a small laugh from the younger girl.

"Okay. The beginning..."

The blonde woman smiled encouragingly.

"There's something wrong with me," The blue haired teen confessed as she looked away. "Strange thoughts prevent sleep, and when I finally do fall asleep, I-I get these dreams." Ami's voice dropped and the other woman had to strain to hear the last bit. "They leave me so very confused."

Usagi's eyes widened slightly, an idea finally forming in her mind. "Is it about a person?"

The young woman nodded again before licking dry lips. Looking down at the table she caught sight of the glass containing water and gladly picked it up to take a sip.

"Sex?"

Ami coughed in surprise. Shaking her head vigorously she choked out a 'no.' Usagi raised an eyebrow, patiently waiting for elaboration.

"It's-we-ah...Mostly kissing." A flush covered Ami's face and neck and Usagi was willing to bet it probably covered the entire girl's body.

"Who is it?"

Ami looked away and Usagi sighed internally, expecting the girl would have a hard time answering even if she wanted to. In spite of her attempts at drawing the young woman out of her shell Ami remained an intensely private person.

"Well, whoever it is, it sounds like one serious crush," Usagi remarked.

"A crush?" Ami stared at her, blue eyes wide, surprise flickering in the depths.

"Don't tell me you've never..." Usagi felt so surprised she could have been bowled over with a feather.

"No...never," Ami confirmed while glancing down into her lap.

"You really _are_ an innocent," Usagi declared. She didn't think the girl could possibly blush a deeper shade of red but Ami proved her wrong. "Sorry, I just...Wow..." She trailed off uncertain how to put the girl at ease again. "Anyway, it's fine if you don't want to tell me. Although, I do wish I could help."

"It's fine, Usagi. I don't think you'd be able to help even if you are friends with Mako-" Ami clamped a hand over her mouth cursing her blunder.

Usagi's jaw dropped. "Mako...to? You like Makoto?"

At Usagi's incredulous tone, Ami stood up, her eyes watering as she blindly made her way to the door. Before she could open it the blonde laid a hand on her shoulder and gently stopped her.

"Please, Ami, wait," Usagi felt relief when Ami turned to face her.

"You think I'm strange, don't you?" the teenager's question was laced with bitterness as she tried to shrug out from under the blonde's hand but Usagi's grip tightened, refusing to let her go.

"Of course not! Ami, I don't care who you're in love with!" Usagi exclaimed. She felt somewhat hurt the teen thought she carried such prejudices but she pushed the emotion aside. Right now, Ami needed a friend more than ever.

"You don't?" Ami raised a tear streaked face towards her and Usagi smiled gently.

"No, I don't. I wasn't raised to think that way. Plus, I guess you haven't noticed but I have quite a few gay friends. Makoto included, and I've known that idiot forever." Usagi hugged Ami to prove she really did not care about the young girl's orientation.

The blonde could see Ami struggling to process everything the blonde said, unaware she was being hugged and while her back was stroked in a comforting manner. Usagi knew Ami had a lot to think about but it was also important the teenager knew she at least had the support of her closest friend. She held Ami until the need for sleep overwhelmed the younger woman. More than happy to oblige Ami, she drew the girl to her bed, unconscious of the motherly smile on her face as she tucked the younger woman in. Sleepy blue eyes drifted closed, slumber immediately blanketing Ami.

_She looks younger than ever_, Usagi thought before she turned off the light and exited the room.

* * *

Next chapter: Ami begins to settle into who she really is.

_Feedback is most welcome, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this so far._


	3. Hope

_Disclaimer: All characters featured belong to Naoko Takeuchi except Hana Masuyo._

_Notes: This chapter did not have a beta reader. Revised 4-11-12._

* * *

Chapter 3: Hope

Summer arrived in Tokyo, the heat skyrocketing to unbearable heights and it was only July. Ami grimaced as a trickle of perspiration made its way down her back. A less than ten minute walk across campus and Ami was drenched; she desperately desired a cold shower and beverage and not in that order. Wiping her brow as she stepped into the dorm room. A squeal of delight from an unseen Usagi alerted her the woman was home and in high spirits. She stepped out of her shoes, placed her bag neatly on her desk in her room and headed for the kitchenette for a drink of water.

Usagi stood in the little area, one hip resting against what little counter space they had. The phone was glued to one ear, a happy grin resting on her lips. Chatting away animatedly, she gave Ami a small wave of greeting as the young woman entered. Ami was curious, she wondered what sort of news would have the blonde practically bouncing. She smiled and waved back, one blue brow perked, before pouring herself a glass of cold water.

'Tell you soon,' Usagi mouthed the words to Ami and the younger woman nodded in reply before heading out to attached living room/eating area which contained a couch and an armchair along with a small square table. Perched on the edge of the armchair she took a deep gulp of cold water. She usually enjoyed summers but in a city the magnitude of Tokyo there was far too little to like. Usagi emerged from the kitchenette a moment later.

"Ohhh. My. God!" Usagi squealed again, hopping from one leg to the other. Ami waited patiently; she was used to the blonde's quirks by now.

"Ami! I'm going to Okinawa for summer break! Okinawa!" the blonde was utterly ecstatic.

Usagi's happiness was contagious, Ami smiled widely, thrilled for her friend. "Oh! That _is _exciting!"

"I know! Dad even mentioned I'm allowed to bring friends along." Usagi's smile dropped for a moment, "It's too bad you're heading back to Yukikura for break."

"Perhaps next time." She smiled to the blonde, grateful the woman wanted her along on her vacation.

"Sure, let's plan something for Christmas break when you get back," suggested Usagi as she dropped onto the couch with a sigh of contentment but the goofy grin never left her face.

"Okay. Anyway, I'm off to take a shower, I feel disgusting after traipsing about outside." She returned her empty glass to the kitchen area and entered the bath. Despite the closed door she heard an excited shout of 'Okinawaa!' from her roommate and giggled before stepping into the spray of the shower.

She sighed as the water hit her skin. _What a luxury running water was_, she thought to herself. Her thoughts turned back to Usagi, she truly was happy the other woman would be going on vacation. She was exciting about heading north to Yukikura as well and the long train ride would give her ample time to start whatever projects she needed to work on. Ami was determined to get back on track with her studying; she passed her exams but she wasn't thrilled with the grades. Her grandmother would most likely question the drop in scores and she had no idea what to tell the older woman when she asked How would she be able to explain she was well and truly distracted from studying for the first time in her life?

Her thoughts once again turned to Makoto. Lately, the athlete came over to spend time with Usagi and Ami at least once a week. On those particular days, Ami had adverse reactions; ecstatic yet full of anxiety at being around the green eyed woman. There were times when Usagi would shoot her concerned looks and Ami figured those were the moments when she was in danger of simply staring at her crush while in a daze. If Usagi hadn't been nearby the previous week Ami would have dropped a large bowl of popcorn all over the floor.

_The incident started when Makoto came over Friday after dinner. Upon opening the door, Ami forgot to breathe. Due to the heat the woman wore a somewhat loose sleeveless shirt that draped over her chest and displayed her toned, tanned arms; her tight cutoff shorts were practically pasted on her lower half. _

"_Hey Ami!" Cheerfully greeting the teen with a wink, Makoto was unaware of the effect she had on the younger woman. _

"_Is it Mako-chan?" Usagi called out somewhere in the room behind Ami, prompting the girl to finally inhale. _

"_Hello Makoto," Ami smiled, if a little crookedly, "please come in." _

"_I brought a movie, just in case. Anyone interested?" Makoto asked as she sauntered in holding up a bag from the nearby video rental place._

_Usagi grinned in response to Makoto's question, "sure." The athlete grinned in joy and Ami found herself envious of the recipient of that smile. Feeling the need to compose herself she fumbled for the perfect excuse to leave the area and found one. _

"_I'll go make popcorn," she volunteered. _

"_I'll help with the drinks." Usagi offered, accompanying Ami to the kitchen area. "What did you get anyway?" she asked over her shoulder to the brunette behind her. _

"_A horror." The roommates could hear the glee in the tall woman's voice. _

_Ami froze in the midst of reaching into the cabinet for the popcorn. Blue eyes wide, she turned to a humming Usagi._

"_Usagi! Horror? I'm not good with horror!" she whispered frantically to the older woman. _

_The blonde stared back at her, a devious expression on her face. "What are you talking about? This is the perfect opportunity! You can sit next to her in the dark and when you get scared you use the chance to hold onto her. I know that idiot well, she never misses a moment to rescue a damsel in distress." The blonde rolled her eyes while imagining her childhood friend in knight in shining armor mode. _

"_I couldn't!" Ami whispered, face aghast as she retrieved the popcorn from the microwave and emptied the bag into a large bowl._

"_You can and should!" Usagi replied as she nudged the younger woman out of the kitchen. She almost collided with the girl in front of her when Ami abruptly stopped. _

"_What's the-" Usagi's voice faded away and all Ami could focus on was the view in front of her. She stood in shock, the bowl of popcorn in danger as she stared at the scene in front of her. On her hands and knees, Makoto's perfectly shaped jean-clad behind stuck out as she fumbled with a cable between the wall and television. Ami was a not a girl to be ruled by her hormones but at that moment she simply wanted to drop the popcorn and cling to the tall woman, hands grasping the woman's bottom. _

_Awaking from her stupor at the mention of her name, she looked down to see the bowl being tugged out of her hands by an amused Usagi. Her face suffused with crimson, she allowed the blonde to take the popcorn and stepped back, while she mimicked a fish out of water. _

"_Uh-I-I'll be right back." She dashed to the bathroom and braced against the closed door while she __tried to calm down. How mortifying to be caught ogling the woman's rear like an outright pervert! _

"_Take your time." Usagi called out good-naturedly. _

"_Something wrong?" The huskier tones of Makoto's voice was heard asking, having missed the interaction between Usagi and Ami. _

_She was torn between never wanting to leave the bathroom and sinking into the floor, never to be seen again. Taking a deep breath instead, Ami stepped cautiously in front of the mirror and looked at herself. The blush in her cheeks seem to be receding. It was a good thing Makoto had not been the one to notice. Usagi, she could deal with, the blonde would tease her for a bit but who knows how kindly the brunette would have taken to being eyed like a piece of meat. Sighing, she splashed some cold water on her face before joining the other two in the living room. _

_The athlete sat on the floor, her back braced against the armchair as she tossed popcorn into her mouth. Spotting Ami, she asked in a concerned manner, "Are you okay?" _

"_Yes, thank you," Ami replied, smiling weakly before taking a seat on the couch next to Usagi. _

"_Everybody ready?" Makoto asked, then proceeded to start the movie. _

_Usagi leaned close to Ami, whispering confidingly, "It _was _a nice view. Don't worry, I would have done the same to Mamoru too."_

_The young girl flushed and sighed, resigning herself to a very long evening. _

Turning off the water, Ami dried herself off and got dressed. Despite her nervousness last week, the horror movie, Makoto's attractiveness driving her to distraction and Usagi's teasing comments it had been fun evening. She smiled to herself as she joined her roommate in starting dinner.

-x-x-x-

"Are you ever going to tell me about this young man who has you in such a state?" Hana asked the nervous young woman sitting across the table.

Ami almost dropped her chopsticks, red invading her cheeks. "G-grandmother?" Since she arrived in Yukikura the previous evening, Ami dreaded such questioning from Hana. The older woman did not miss much thanks to her observant nature and the teen was afraid Hana would see through her like a thin leaf held up to sunlight. Her fears were justified with the question.

"What makes you think I met someone, grandmother?" Ami asked, fruitlessly trying to buy herself some time to formulate an answer that would appease the woman.

"You forget, I've seen it before with your mother. She was the same way when she fell in love with your father and tried to keep it from me," Hana chuckled.

_Checkmate. _

Ami sighed, her shoulders drooping. "He's...actually a she. I-I like a girl."

Hana's gray eyebrows lifted skyward.

She looked into her lap, waiting for inevitable disapproval from the older woman. She had decided at the very last moment before she answered that she would speak the truth. Having never lied to Hana as a child, she did not intend to start now. If it meant the woman could not be as accepting then so be it. However the truth could not stop her from shaking; adrenaline coursed through her veins as she expected the worst.

"You surprise me," There was a curious tone in her grandmother's voice.

Ami looked up defiantly only to find herself bewildered by the soft smile on her grandmother's face.

"Finish your dinner, child. We can talk about this in the courtyard. It's going to be a nice night."

-x-x-x-

A full moon fastened itself to the dark blue curtain of night, illuminating the inner garden in hues of silver. Hana sat comfortably with her legs folded, her _kiseru _unlit in one hand. Ami sat to the older woman's left in silence. She stared up at the moon wondering what Makoto would think of such a view. Eventually, Hana would speak and so she waited patiently while enjoying the quiet with the woman who raised her. There were plenty of warm summer nights shared in this manner as Ami grew up.

"You were expecting another kind of reaction," Hana stated, her voice low and strong despite her age. She stared at the moon as well.

"Yes," Ami replied softly, hesitating to speak louder so as not to fracture the nocturnal beauty of the garden.

Hana chuckled before speaking again, "I couldn't give you the reaction you were looking for. It would make me a hypocrite."

"G-grandmother?" Ami uttered a croak of amazement as Hana's words settled themselves into her brain.

"Her name was Keiko, I met her a few years after your grandfather passed away." Hana began her story and Ami sat still and silent, enthralled from that first sentence. It seemed like her grandmother would always be full of surprises.

* * *

_Kiseru_ - a traditional long stemmed smoking pipe.

Next chapter: It's September, the start of the new semester and Ami's birthday month.

_A/N: Oh yes, Hana is. ;) Feedback is most welcome!_


	4. Fragile Flower

_Disclaimer: The characters depicted belong to Naoko Takeuchi._

Note: Usagi is a lot of fun to write, her silliness is the perfect balance to Ami's seriousness. I also wrote the first scene at 4 am. What can I say, I'm delirious after a certain hour.

* * *

Chapter 4: Fragile Flower

"I know! We'll have a party!"

Ami looked up from the textbook in her lap. It took her a moment to realize what Usagi was referring to. "Are you sure?" She asked with a small frown.

The blonde ignored the frown on her roommate's face. "Yes! It's not everyday a girl turns seventeen."

The younger woman hesitated. "I don't know, Usagi..."

"Stop being such a wallflower!" The blonde got up from her seat and danced around the room, "It's time to become a butterfly. A social butterfly! Emerge from that cocoon of yours." She waved her arms about, as if they were butterfly wings.

Ami placed a hand in front of her mouth as her lips twitched at Usagi's antics. "Wouldn't that make me a caterpillar instead of a wallflower?" She asked dryly.

"Emergggge." Usagi sang, as she fluttered about.

She tried to remain serious, to not laugh at Usagi's silliness; but it was a moot point. The battle lost she laughed out loud until tears appeared at the corner of her eyes. Usagi flopped down into the armchair, giggling as well.

After the laughter died down, Usagi's tone was hopeful. "So we'll do it?"

Ami nodded.

"Perfect! I know plenty of cute girls I can invite!" Usagi exclaimed to the younger woman, who flushed an alarming shade of red. The blonde snickered at her shy roommate's color, then smiled as a thought crossed her mind.

"But who would have thought you would come out to your grandmother? Or that she would be into women?"

"Woman, Usagi, not women." Ami corrected, a smile of wonderment blooming on her face. Her trip home during summer break had certainly been illuminating. Learning the older woman had been in love with another woman came as a delightful shock, rendering any objections she might have faced to magically vanish.

Usagi waved off the words, "No matter!It just goes to show, she is one open-minded woman. I think it's incredible! I'd love to meet her one day."

"You will. Remember, she wants to meet you too." Ami assured her while reading.

"You didn't mention anything weird about me, did you?" The blonde raised an eyebrow in question.

"Only every spectacularly strange little detail down to the dumplings on your head," replied Ami, calmly turning a page of her text book.

"What?" Usagi's voice rose several octaves as she stared at the girl in front of her.

Ami looked up with a grin and an unusual twinkle in her eye, "I'm joking. It was a joke." Usagi's jaw dropped and Ami's grin turned to giggles.

Blue eyes narrowed as Usagi crouched to attack her roommate. Squeals, giggles and shouts could be heard by other students whenever they passed a certain door marked Mizuno and Tsukino.

-x-x-x-

A week later, Ami stood in front of the mirror examining her outfit. She wanted to look her best. But more importantly, she wanted Makoto to think she looked good. With the recommendation of Usagi, she wore light colored blue jeans the blonde assured looked fantastic on her and a thin v-necked blouse with puffy short sleeves that draped over the young woman's curves in all the right ways. Upon seeing Ami, Usagi attested Makoto would be drooling at the sight of the teenager.

"Are you sure? I know I'm not that great looking-" Ami spoke without any self-confidence and was quickly interrupted by Usagi.

"Stop right there! You have no idea how cute you are, do you? Despite what some girls think, you don't need to show a lot of skin to be attractive. Anyway, you could probably wear a paper bag and still get people flocking to you." Usagi claimed with a smile.

A blush formed on the younger woman's face. "Thank you," she said shyly.

Usagi waved away the gratitude, "Sure, no problem!"

Just then Ami asked a question that had been plaguing her for a while. "Usagi, I know we're friends but why are you helping me so much with Makoto?"

Usagi gave what was a simple, and true, explanation. "Because I think you'd be good for each other. You might not see it now but you two really complement each other." A flash of emotion, sadness, appeared and disappeared so quickly Ami thought she was seeing things. The blonde winked happily, "And with you as Makoto's girlfriend it means that it won't be some strange person that Mako-chan ends up with but someone I actually like too."

The response left Ami surprised, she had not realized Usagi had put so much thought into the matter. It was hard to remain dry eyed at how much the blonde thought of her friends' happiness. She had never met anyone like Usagi before and she was touched at the amount of caring the other woman put into her friendships. She vowed to herself she would be there for Usagi whenever the woman needed her.

Usagi spotted the sheen in Ami's blue eyes immediately. She shook her head sternly, "Oh no, you don't! I absolutely forbid you to shed any tears today!"

Ami gave a watery smile and hugged Usagi. The action caught the blonde off guard, she had not expected any kind of open affection from the blue haired girl. She hugged Ami back for a moment before stepping away.

"Okay, that's enough sappy-ness, time to party!"Usagi shouted with a fist in the air. At that moment there was a knock on the door and the blonde hurried to answer before Ami could get to the door.

The first two guests to arrive were the only two people Ami cared to invite. Naru Osaka was an amiable redheaded girl from a few of her classes that Ami spoke to regularly and studied with once in a while. Through Naru, she met Umino Gurio, the redhead's boyfriend a few times. She thought the couple was sweet, Naru obviously cared for the lanky student with thick glasses and he adored Naru in return, his consideration for his girlfriend very evident in his every action.

"Welcome, please come inside. I'm Usagi, Ami's roommate." The blonde introduced herself and so did the couple.

Usagi took a good look at Naru before she exclaimed, "Hey! I know you, you're in my English class with professor Honda!"

Naru's eyes widened momentarily, before she smiled and replied in excitement. "Oh yes, you're right! No wonder I thought you looked familiar." She grinned at the blonde.

Ami found herself thrilled that the two somewhat knew each other, the world was not so large. Usagi closed the door and Naru and Umino walked over to her, presenting a small, rectangular shaped present with a bow. "Happy birthday , Ami! We hope you like it."

The younger woman's mouth formed a small 'o', "Thank you! You shouldn't have."

Umino grinned proudly, "You'll love it, it's-"

A nudge in his midsection from his girlfriend stopped him mid-sentence. He laughed awkwardly, one hand behind his head while Naru looked on with an innocent smile. Ami, having witnessed the little scene, chuckled to herself.

Another knock on the door and Ami looked over to see Usagi swept up in hugs from three people. She smiled at the enthusiastic greeting as they swarmed into the room. It was obvious the newcomers cared for Usagi as much as the blonde cared for them.

Ami was introduced to Haruka Tenoh, Michiru Kaioh and Setsuna Meioh. She blushed prettily when Usagi came up behind her and whispered, "See, I told you I knew some good looking women..."

It was true, Haruka was a tall, handsome blonde who was just as charming as Makoto. Then she happened to notice Haruka casually slinging her arm around Michiru's waist and she blushed again. The pretty green haired woman, did not seem to mind at all as she engaged Usagi in conversation. The tall blonde woman observed Ami's gaze and winked at her before Haruka received a light swat on the arm from Michiru.

Everyone laughed when Michiru turned to Ami and stated, "Don't mind this one, she likes to flirt with cute girls." Ami's jaw dropped a little when Michiru gave her a wink too.

Haruka grinned at Ami. "She's just as bad as I am."

"As you can see, they belong together." Setsuna commented dryly from somewhere behind the couple. Laughter erupted again.

"Where's that cousin of mine?" Haruka asked, looking around, "Why isn't she here with the cake yet?"

"Cousin?" Ami asked.

Usagi answered, "Yes, Haruka and Makoto are cousins. When they were younger, wherever one went, the other followed."

"So did trouble," added Michiru with a deceivingly sweet smile.

"Anyway, Mako-chan will be here soon. She's also bringing two other people." Usagi grinned at Michiru before she answered Haruka's question. Ami felt a strange sensation in her chest, tensing as she heard her roommate speak.

"Who?" Michiru asked, curiously.

Usagi shrugged, "She didn't say, only mentioned they were friends." At the words 'friends', the teen relaxed and tried to enjoy herself.

It wasn't too long before everyone sat around, either munching on snacks or lounging about with a drink in hand. Ami liked Usagi's friends, they were funny and down to earth people, even if they were older. They all treated her like a peer and Ami couldn't help but smile happily, she had never felt so accepted as she did now within this group. Not once in junior high, or high school had she ever felt like this. In a conversation with Haruka and her girlfriend, she looked around and found Naru happily chatting away with Usagi; Umino and Setsuna seemed to be having a discussion about particle physics and thoroughly enjoying the topic.

Everyone seemed to be having a good time including Ami but she felt a bit selfish for eagerly awaiting Makoto's arrival. Once the brunette arrived she knew she would feel complete, the only thing she really wanted was to see Makoto on her birthday. At that moment a knock sounded at the door and Ami's heartbeat tripled. Usagi, who was located closest to the door opened it to a Makoto carrying a square box, with two other guests behind her.

"Are we late?" The brunette asked.

"Yes. Ami said she was taking back your invitation. But, feel free to leave the cake on your way out." Haruka smiled wickedly as her cousin entered.

"Ha ha. Very funny. Who let you indoors? Last I heard Michiru had you in the doghouse." Makoto snapped back with a grin, before placing the cake down on the coffee table.

Her green eyes swept over Ami and the teen felt her heartbeat double all over again when the athlete leaned close and kissed her on the cheek, whispering "Happy birthday, Dr. Ami."

Ami stared wide eyed at the woman, the feeling of Makoto's lips lingering on her skin. Her face felt hot. She might have sat there in shock the rest of the night if Usagi had not made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a 'squawk.'

"T-thank you," she mumbled shyly in Makoto's direction before noticing the attractive blonde woman and dark haired man standing behind the tall woman.

Makoto, realizing she had forgotten something and turned around, muttering a quick apology before introducing everyone. "This is Minako Aino, and Mamoru Chiba," she made fast work of introducing the rest of the room to the latecomers until she came to Naru and Umino whom she did not know.

Ami quickly jumped in and introduced her friends again. Turning to Usagi she noticed the older blonde's blush and followed her gaze to find her roommate's eyes fixed on Mamoru who seemed just as enamored as her roommate. The teen turned to look at Makoto, who shrugged before walking up to Usagi.

"Go offer him a drink, or something." Makoto said, her voice low enough not to be heard by anyone else except Ami. The frozen blonde nodded then took the brunette's advice and walked off.

"Thank goodness," said Ami with relief as they watched Usagi join Mamoru, "I don't think I would have been able to give her proper advice." She would have said more to the brunette but Minako chose that moment to stand next to Makoto before placing a hand on her arm.

Up close she realized where she had seen Minako before, the brunette and blonde had been walking together the day Ami spotted them from her classroom. The blonde was everything Ami was not; she felt positively frumpy in jeans now that she saw Minako in a miniskirt and a formfitting top. She felt the unfamiliar twinge near the vicinity of her heart again. Sudden despair filled her, she tried to disguise the feeling and turned away but Makoto stopped her.

"Ami? Are you alright?"

"Oh yes, I'm fine, please excuse me." The smile on her face did not feel like it usually did, so she quickly walked to the bathroom leaving a puzzled Makoto behind her. Closing the door firmly but quietly, she took a deep breath in order to calm herself. How could she be feeling this way? It was her birthday and she was having a great time with everyone. That was until she saw Minako touching the brunette who did not seem to mind the affection at all. She did not think she would ever feel so, so hurt to see Makoto with someone else even though she had an idea that it would never work between herself and the botany student.

Completely aware a party was happening beyond the bathroom door she splashed some cold water on her face and practiced smiling before leaving the confines of the small room. Looking around for Usagi, Ami did not see her roommate nearby and figured she might be in the kitchen. About to round the corner she heard Makoto's voice and stopped herself from entering the cooking area, she had no confidence she could face the woman in a normal manner. Undecided, she stood hidden in the spot for a moment.

"-koto, doesn't Ami look pretty today? That girl has no idea how totally adorable she is!" Ami could hear the smile in Usagi's voice and winced.

About to step away, a morbid curiosity overtook her body, leaving her in place to hear Makoto's answer.

"Yeah, she really is a cute little thing, like a little sister I never had. We'll have to make sure to chase away all the perverts that think they can get away with anything funny!" The protective tone in Makoto's voice was too much for Ami, eyes watering, she tried to make her way to the bathroom again and bumped into the last person she wanted to see at that moment.

"Excu-ah Minako-san, sorry-" Ami hiccuped. She did not get the chance to say anything else as Minako looked around the room, making sure no one else was looking in their direction. Grabbing Ami's hand in her own, she led the younger woman to one of the bedrooms. As the tears gave way, Minako pulled out a packet of tissues from her purse and gently wiped away the trail on Ami's face.

"Ami-san," Minako rested an arm around the girl, her voice gentle, "it's your birthday, why are you crying?"

At the unexpected kindness, Ami could only cry harder. "I-I..."

"You love her, don't you?"

Ami nodded, unable to lie.

"I'm sorry. Unrequited love is a terrible feeling. Makoto did tell me Usagi is straight, but she cares for you a lot. I'm sure if you try-"

"Usagi?" Ami asked numbly. It struck her in that moment, Minako thought she was in love with Usagi! Her eyes widened, the flow of tears stopping momentarily. She wanted to laugh but held back the urge. "I'm not-" Thinking quickly, Ami closed her mouth. It would be best to go along with this farce for now and explain to Usagi later, the teen thought.

Wiping her face, she turned to the woman comforting her. "I'm sorry to inconvenience you like this, Minako san, and on our very first meeting too. I think I'll be okay now."

"Are you sure?" Minako asked kindly, "I can go get Makoto if you prefer..."

"No, no it's fine. Thank you for your help, you're very kind." Ami tried to smile at the other woman.

"Okay, and it's not a problem, any friend of Mako is a friend of mine." Minako smiled, a pretty upturn of her lips before leaving Ami alone in the room.

_No wonder Makoto likes her. She's beautiful and a good person._

Ami could not find one reason to dislike the woman. It couldn't take away the pain she felt deep inside however.

-x-x-x-

"I'm so sorry, Ami."

The young woman could see guilt clearly in Usagi's eyes after finding out Ami overheard the conversation in the kitchen. They cleaned in silence, Ami inadvertently pausing when little bits of the party played itself back in her mind. She was not an actress but she had put on the best performance she could as the evening wore on. She felt simply drained now.

She became aware she drifted off in thought again when she felt Usagi's hand on her shoulder. "Why don't you go take a bath? We can talk about it when you're done."

Ami shook her head tiredly, without looking at Usagi. "I don't feel like talking tonight. I'm sorry."

The blonde nodded, "Another time then. Go get some rest, I'm almost done here anyway."

"Okay. Thank you, I'll take you up on your offer." Ami yawned. As she walked away, Usagi stared after her friend's frail-looking back. The thought that this was partly her fault drowned her in sorrow.

* * *

A/N: Yes, it got angsty. My apologies.

A question for the readers, are you satisfied so far with just Ami's side of the story?

Next chapter: Ami tries moving on.


	5. Discovery

_Disclaimers: All characters belong to the brilliant Takeuchi-sensei._

_Don't like yuri or romances between women? Then you're halfway up the wrong tree._

_Omake inspired by my friend Oh.  
_

* * *

Chapter 5: Discovery 

_My little sister. _

_My little sister. _

Ami awoke to to the echoing of Makoto's words from the previous evening coupled with the shrieking of her alarm. Even though it was Saturday she always got up early. Today she felt like staying in bed, it would take too much energy to simply get up.

_Of course Makoto couldn't possibly want someone like me. _

A knock on her door interrupted further thought.

"Ami? Are you awake?" A soft, tentative voice drifted through the door.

The urge to burrow deeper under her covers came over her but she knew Usagi probably wouldn't leave her alone until they spoke. The blonde spared her from answering however, when she spoke again.

"I'll come back later."

Ami squeezed her eyes shut, refusing to let more tears have their way with her. Over the course of the previous evening she had shed too many, even after she left Usagi to the final bit of cleaning. Curled up in bed, she cried to herself; her logical mind could not comprehend why humans chose to pursue an emotion like love when it had such negative repercussions. Giving in, she pulled the covers over her head with the thought that it might not be so bad to sleep the day away.

-x-x-x-

The rapid departure of autumn ushered in the first day of December. In spite of the cold, a few leaves held steadfast to the bare trees around campus. A rush of wind swept by, claiming victory over a lone clinging leaf; it made a crunch under Ami's shoe as she walked back to the dorms.

Wearing a pea coat and wrapped in a scarf, she shivered when another gust of wind came from the north, penetrating right through her clothing. Quickening her pace, she hurried indoors, seeking shelter from the gray afternoon and its icy blasts of air.

Brushing windswept azure hair out of her eyes she was surprised to find Usagi at home as she entered their shared space. There were many days Ami arrived home first due to the blonde being out with Mamoru. Since Ami's birthday the two inevitably found themselves dating. Ami was very happy for her friend, things were going well between Usagi and Mamoru. Her roommate being home before her, left her pondering whether something might be wrong.

"Hey Ami, welcome back," Usagi greeted with her usual sunny smile.

_I suppose everything is fine then. Good. _

Ami greeted her with a smile of her own. "Hi. You're home early today."

"Yes, it's too cold and I can't stand being outdoors. Although I'll have to go shopping for a gift tomorrow. If it's going to be this cold again, I'm already dreading it." The blonde woman sighed.

"Oh? Is it someone's birthday?" The younger woman inquired as she removed her coat and scarf.

"Mako-chan's birthday is coming up in a few days," Usagi answered.

_The day after her birthday, Ami spent the entire Saturday in bed. It was the first time she stayed in bed without being sick. With the exception of the morning, Usagi left her alone the entire day. She slept on and off, needing the rest. Ami awoke to a darkening room, the sunlight starting to fade, indicating the oncoming darkness. Shifting in bed, she turned from her side onto her back, staring up at the ceiling. Knowing she couldn't continue in this manner much longer she figured a day to indulge in such behavior would have to suffice. A soft knock on her door broke her sightless reverie and she answered in a husky, sleep-laden voice._

"_Yes?" _

"_Ami, are you hungry? I just made dinner. Please eat something." _

_The young woman could hear the silent plea in the blonde's voice. About to answer, her stomach gurgled in an embarrassing fashion. Ami laughed quietly to herself, the sound filled with chagrin instead of mirth. _

"_Okay, I'll be right out," she answered._

"_Okay." Ami detected relief and warmth in that one word, the other woman's footsteps fading as the blonde walked away._

_Pushing the covers aside she got out of bed and entered the bathroom. Looking at herself in the mirror, her hair was in disarray, her eyes red. She brushed her teeth and washed her face before joining Usagi in their living room. The table was already set and shame filled her at the sight. It occurred to her that her indifference probably hurt the older woman; and she knew she needed to apologize. Sitting down at the table across from Usagi, Ami did not make an effort to pick up her chopsticks._

_Usagi directed a gaze at her, concern in her marine eyes. Ami held her gaze, giving the blonde a small smile, unaware it held trace amounts of sadness that was easily seen. _

"_I'm sorry." _

_At Usagi's quizzical look, Ami figured she needed to elaborate. "I wanted to apologize for the way I acted last night and today. No matter how I'm feeling and how understanding you are, it isn't right to ignore someone." _

"_It's okay, really it is. Come on, let's eat." Taking a bite of rice, she encouraged Ami to eat as well. _

_Pushing aside her worries, Ami mentioned a topic she knew the blonde would enjoy. "So I see you met the man of your dreams last night." _

_She knew she did the right thing when Usagi sported a huge grin, a faint blush appearing on her cheeks. She gave the impression of wanting to bounce out of her seat. "He asked me out on a date!" _

"_That's fantastic, Usagi!" Ami found herself excited for her friend. _

"_I know!" Usagi practically squealed. "I can't believe Makoto brought him to the party just to meet me." The blonde cursed herself after she spoke, upon uttering the brunette's name Ami's genuine smile turned sad. _

"_Ami-" _

"_It's okay, Usagi. I'll be fine, I came to university to study anyway, not for romance." Usagi's heart broke at the statement, Ami meant to assure her of the fact but it sounded like she was trying to convince herself as well._

"_Please let me apologize too, Ami. I think-no, I know, I was wrong for getting your hopes up. I thought perhaps there was a chance between you. You see, Makoto may flirt but she does not allow most people to see the real her. Whatever barriers she erected, I didn't see them whenever she interacted with you." _

_Ami was quiet for a moment, before laying a hand on top of Usagi's own. "Thank you. Please don't blame yourself. I don't. " _

_A grateful smile adorned Usagi's lips. _

_Ami took a sip of tea the blonde had thoughtfully provided, deliberating on whether she had the right to ask the question in her mind. _

_At the younger woman's thoughtful look, Usagi spoke up. "What is it?" _

"_I was just thinking...you said barriers and I wondered why Makoto felt the need for them." _

"_I've known her for a long time but if there is anyone who can explain it best, it has to be her. It isn't my place to tell you, I am sure you understand." Usagi replied, not unkindly with a smile. _

_Ami blushed at the tactfully answered question. _

_The rest of the meal carried normal conversation about the party. Ami made sure to tell the blonde how much she enjoyed Haruka, Michiru and Setsuna's company. She even mentioned her thoughts of Minako but did not speak of her jealousy towards the woman. Although she did wonder out loud why Minako assumed Usagi was the one she was in love with. The blonde agreed, before smoothing her hair back and pouting seductively._

_Affecting a sultry voice and pose, she joked, "Why that's easy to figure out! I am irresistible after all."_

_Ami laughed, thinking how wonderful it was having a friend like Usagi._

_It was not until a few days later, when Usagi had a conversation with Makoto that they found out why Minako made such an assumption. Before the party, Makoto had informed Minako why Mamoru was invited; the brunette intended to introduce him to Usagi. Minako thought Ami overheard that part of the conversation, which made her upset at the time. With tact once again, Usagi was careful not to mention who Ami was really in love with. _

A month ago, the mention of Makoto would have caused the younger woman to flinch but today she strode straight to her desk and deposited her bag. The blonde understood what a struggle it had been for Ami the past couple of months; they had spoken once or twice about what happened at the party but unless Ami brought up the topic, Usagi veered away from it. The younger woman tried her best to be friends with the brunette and it seemed to be working. Makoto continued to visit the roommates, with Minako occasionally in tow.

"Oh! Then I need to get her something too. Do you mind if I come along as well?" The roommates did not spend as much time together since Mamoru and Usagi began dating but the younger woman did not mind, although she missed the older woman sometimes.

Usagi was thrilled at the question. "That will be perfect! We can go to that little tea house after. They have the best scones!"

Ami could already picture the blonde's face while perusing the desserts at the quaint little shop and smiled. She was pleased at the chance to be able to kill two birds with one stone on the outing; shopping and spending time with her best friend.

-x-x-x-

They met the next day once Ami's class let out, meeting at the agreed time. Arriving at the location the young woman found the blonde was not alone. A pretty raven haired woman stood beside Usagi, laughing with the blonde. Ami could see both Usagi and the woman attracted plenty of admiring glances. The woman's dark hair fell like a curtain down her back, her violet eyes sparkling and Ami's gaze went back to her a few times as well.

Usagi spotted her approach and waved her over. "Ami, this is Rei Hino. Rei and I are in the same class with Naru. Rei, this is Ami Mizuno, my roommate."

"Pleased to meet you Rei-san," smiled Ami, as she held out her hand.

"Just Rei is fine, and pleased to meet you as well," Rei smiled back warmly, as she shook Ami's hand. The young woman immediately felt at ease in Rei's presence.

Turning to Usagi, Rei stated, "Now that your shopping buddy is here, I'll get going. See you later." Taking two steps, she stopped and faced Ami, "I hope to see you again, Ami." With a smile she walked away, a sway in her hips that did not go unnoticed.

Usagi looked back and forth between the retreating Rei and her obviously staring roommate but kept her mouth closed. Putting an arm through Ami's, they set off for different shops with the hope of finding the perfect gift for their friend.

-x-x-x-

"Happy birthday, Makoto!" Ami said as she handed the brunette her present.

"Ami, thanks!" Looking at the present in her hand Makoto glanced back up at Ami with childish delight. "Can I open it now?"

"Of course," Ami blushed, "It's your present after all. I hope you like it."

Makoto proceeded to unwrap a leather bound, beautifully illustrated book of plants. Turning a few pages she gasped before catching the young woman in a hug she was not prepared for.

"Thank you! It's beautiful and I love it."

Upon being released, Ami found herself the recipient of a few vehement glares from a couple of women. Makoto's birthday was a much bigger affair than Ami's, the athlete's dorm crowded with people. She noticed the women seemed to outnumber the men twice as much, all vying for the tall woman's attention.

The evening passed by in a blur as she spent it chatting with the people she knew. Eventually she started to feel lightheaded. Touching her forehead, she found Usagi looking at her with concern and suspicion.

"Ami, did you drink the punch?"

"Yes, I had some a while ago. Why?"

"Some?"

"Yes. I think two cups."

"Oh geez! Don't drink anymore punch tonight. Someone spiked it."

"No wonder...I feel a bit dizzy." She remarked to the blonde. "I'm going to the bathroom."

"Do you want me to go with you?" asked Usagi.

She waved away the other woman, "No, thank you. I'll be fine."

Knocking on the door brought forth no answer so she turned the knob and stepped into the small room. The scene before her sobered her up in a way coffee or cold water could not.  
She recognized the tall build of the woman standing in Minako's arms. It could only be Makoto. The blonde woman sat on the counter, her long legs wrapped around the lower half of the brunette's body. Intimate, sensual, the two were locked in a kiss, Makoto's hands buried in Minako's hair as their bodies fought to get closer.

The sight brought to surface all the feelings Ami buried deep within her, physical need, heartfelt love and betrayal. The lovers were too caught up in each other to realize a third party had even entered and she bolted from the room before discovery, chest aching for air among other things.

Grabbing her jacket she rushed past Usagi without a word, almost running back to their dorm. Trying her best to not cry she was unaware twin trails already made their way down her face.

* * *

A/N: A dreadful cliffhanger, I know. Please don't stone me. Ha ha...And yes, this is still an Ami/Makoto story, please have faith!

Also, if any scenes confuse you please let me know. Thank you. :)

Next chapter: A chance encounter changes things for Ami.

Readers Marz and James Birdsong, I wanted to thank you for your wonderful and kind responses. Ordinarily I respond to everyone via PM but since you are not members this is the best I can do. Thank you so much for your support.

* * *

Omake

A splash of freezing water interrupted the lovers. They pulled apart, drenched and shivering.

Sailor Mercury advanced a step towards Minako, a growl of anger emerging from her lips. "Get away from her. She's mine!"

Makoto backed away, her expression confused. "What the hell? Who are you?"

A bright burst of golden light erupted from Makoto's right. She glanced over at Minako to find the blonde in a scandalously short magical girl outfit that matched the woman attacking them.

"Venus Love Me Chain!"

Makoto blinked as she felt something rope-like wrap around her. She gawked at Minako. "Y-you too?" She sputtered in fright.

"That's right, I claim you as the Senshi of Love's property. That frigid bitch can go to hell." Minako laughed maniacally before snatching up Makoto under one arm. Leaping out a window, a crazy laugh could be heard in the distance along with a "help!"

Ami stared at the women receding in the distance..."Uh...this is so not worth it..."


	6. Encounter

_Disclaimer: Characters belong to Naoko Takeuchi, not me. otherwise, I'd be brilliant...and probably well off..._

_Note: Yes, it was awfully mean what I am did to Ami. Rest assured, she will get her woman. Just not in this chapter. ;P_

_For those of you interested, I included a little omake at the end of chapter 5. You can thank my good friend, Oh for the inspiration._

* * *

Chapter 6: Encounter

The next few days were a blur for Ami, much like Makoto's party. She got up from bed, attended classes, returned to her dorm, attempted to study; only to do it all over again the next day. Usagi tried her best to bring Ami around but her efforts proved futile, eventually she gave up knowing Ami would not stay in her current state forever. And she was right.

After her classes one day Ami wandered outside and sat down on one of the many benches scattered around campus. In too deep of a daze, the wintry cold was ignored as the scene with Makoto and Minako played through her head once again. The lingering suspicion she tried to push to the back of her mind during the past couple of months was now a fact, Makoto and Minako were definitely together. Even betrayed however, Ami could admit she did not have any feelings of animosity towards either women, simply because she had not been in the equation to begin with. How could she dislike someone who was not conscious of her presence as a romantic prospect?

But logical thinking combined with facts could not wash away the miserable ache tormenting her. She wished she could have been the one in Minako's place, her arms around Makoto, her lips on the brunette's. Shoulders slumping forward, she sighed.

"I didn't take you for the brooding type."

Ami jumped, startled out of her pensive mood. A figure stood in front of her, someone she easily recognized. The raven haired woman wore a teasing smile which widened when a faint blush appeared on Ami's cheeks.

"Rei-san! Ah, I was just-"

"-lost in thought?" Rei offered, the teasing smile transforming into a genuine one. "It's too cold out here to be reflecting so heavily."

The short haired woman realized she had been sitting outdoors in the cold without keeping track of time. A shiver ran through her as she was flooded with awareness of her location. Sitting in a patch of sunlight had not done much to keep the chill at bay.

"Would you like some company and hot tea?" Rei ask, as she adjusted the red scarf wound around her neck. "My treat."

Ordinarily, Ami would politely refuse and go back to her own dorm but today she surprised herself when she answered in the positive.

"I'd love to."

Rei smiled happily, "Perfect. There's a wonderful little teahouse nearby that I frequent."

"If it's the same place I'm thinking of then, yes, it is wonderful." Ami added as she stood up to join the beautiful woman in front of her.

-x-x-x-

Wrapping her cold hands around the warm teacup, Ami sighed in pleasure after taking a sip of hot cocoa. "Ahh, thank you Rei-san. I needed this."

The shop was cozy during winter, the warmth along with its delicious wares beckoning customer after customer. Ami and Rei sat at a small, round, lace covered table in a corner, out of the way. The older woman had picked their seats and Ami was thankful to be away from the lines that clamored for fresh pastries and perfectly prepared hot beverages.

"Rei." the woman corrected with a stunning smile as she took a sip from her own cup.

Ami found herself blushing and hoped it would be attributed to the warmth of the shop and her cocoa. It was a different feeling, being here with Rei instead of Usagi. It was somewhat exciting in a way, Ami thought. Perhaps because she did not know Rei?

"Rei, thank you."

"No need, Ami. The sad expression I saw earlier does not belong on your pretty face. I'm glad chocolate was able to help. It does wonders for me sometimes." She grinned.

The younger woman thought with the mention of her sadness, Rei would pry but was pleasantly surprised when the woman did not. Instead they carried on conversations of school, tentative future plans, favorite reading materials, shared anecdotes of Usagi and general small talk. The raven haired woman was incredibly easy to talk to, Ami realized. Her blue eyes widened in surprise as she glanced at her watch, it was much later than she imagined.

"I'm so sorry, Rei, it's time for me to get going. But it was a pleasure seeing you again," she apologized as she donned her coat. "Perhaps we could continue another time?"

The dark haired beauty looked pleased at the suggestion from Ami, she readily agreed. Gently placing a hand on one of Ami's, she answered, "Of course!"

Ami pinked at the unexpected contact and smiled shyly at the woman. Parting ways, they waved goodbye to each other as they walked off in opposite directions. Not once in Rei's company did the younger woman think of a certain brunette.

-x-x-x-

Usagi bit her lip, then scolded herself mentally when worry nipped at her again. Coming home to an empty room at first had been fine but as the time passed she started to worry about her friend. She told herself Ami was fine, the girl was old enough to know what she was doing. The concerned part of her pointed out all would be well and good if Ami wasn't currently walking around in a daze.

_You're not her moth-_

Usagi was interrupted mid-thought when the door opened to admit Ami. A somewhat normal looking Ami, with color in her cheeks; not the girl who wandered about in a fugue-like state the past couple of days. She closed her mouth before Ami could note her amazed expression, quickly replacing it with nonchalance.

"Hey Ami."

"Hi Usagi, guess who I ran into today?" Ami asked with a sweet smile Usagi had not seen for a while.

"Who?" She was rather curious to find out who was able to put that expression back on her friend's face.

"Your classmate, Rei. What a lovely woman." The young woman answered, settling into the couch next to her roommate.

Usagi could not help herself this time, her jaw dropped, mouth forming a perfect 'o'.

-x-x-x-

"Thank you for bringing me here. The exhibits were so very interesting," Ami said to the woman next to her as they exited the National Museum of Western Art.

"You're welcome. I'm glad you decided to join me." Rei said, shrugging her dark hair to the side so she could look at Ami. "So, what did you think of Goya?"

The young woman was quiet for a moment. "I'm not sure...some of his visions were a bit too dark for me." She shrugged self-consciously, "I don't know much about art, but I do enjoy it."

Violet eyes twinkled. "I like Chagall, myself. But I prefer Japanese works overall. I suppose it's because of my traditional upbringing."

Ami smiled. "I think I know what you mean."

Now January, Ami met with the other woman a few times over the past month. Her burgeoning friendship with Rei was something she deeply enjoyed. The older woman was a mystery and despite all Ami learned, Rei still remained one. And then there were the glances the raven haired woman gave her. While they didn't make her uncomfortable, they seemed to be seeking some sort of answer. An answer she wasn't sure she could give.

"What would you like to do next?" Rei asked.

"How about dinner?" Ami suggested, catching the older woman off guard. She was happy to see Rei displayed a faint blush for once.

Dinner was a pleasant affair; they took their time eating and chatting about light topics. Ami noticed Rei seemed to direct quite a few searching glances her way while eating. The older woman suddenly appeared shy when Ami caught her gaze a few times. It was already dark when they emerged from the restaurant, the temperature dropping with the departure of the sun. An arm slipping through hers caused Ami to freeze for a moment before quickly relaxing again during their walk. She had seen other women walking like this to keep warm, the young girl reasoned to herself.

Her thoughts turned to Makoto. She wondered if the brunette walked arm in arm like this with Minako while out on dates. A lingering sadness washed over her and it wasn't until Rei spoke she realized they had stopped at the spot where they always said goodbye before heading off to their respective rooms.

"Ami..."

She turned to Rei who displayed a look of uncertainly. It was the first time she saw such an expression on the woman's face.

"Yes?"

"Ami, I-" The rest of the sentence discarded, Ami abruptly felt a pair of soft warm lips on her own. The sensation did not last long, Rei stepped back quickly, worry reflected in her mauve eyes. Ami could only blink in shock.

"Ami, I like you. From the first moment I met you I was intrigued. Every time Usagi spoke of you, I wanted to learn more." Ami was still in a state of surprise. Taking a look at her face, Rei spoke again. "I'm sorry, I suppose I shouldn't have done that. Forgive me, I-Goodnight." She turned to walk away.

"Wait!" The frantic tone made Rei turn around quickly.

"I'm sorry, Rei. I didn't mean to freeze up like that," Ami said softly. She thought of Makoto once again, and of the fact she would not ever have a chance with the brunette. Maybe it would be too soon to return Rei's feelings but she had to give an answer nevertheless."I have to be honest, I liked someone else but I know it won't go anywhere. I know it's rather unfair to ask you this but could you give me some time?"

Rei smiled gently, taking one of Ami's hands in her own. "Okay."

"Thank you." Standing on tiptoe, before she could lose her nerve Ami pressed her lips to Rei's. Surprised at the action at first, Rei stood still before responding to the kiss. It was a pleasing feeling, the woman's warm lips gently moving against her own. They missed the moment snowflakes began to drift downward slowly, the tiny crystals catching and reflecting bits of light in the cold night.

* * *

Next chapter: The past and finally the present.

Note: 1. There is an actual National Museum of Western Art located in Tokyo, and in early 1999, during January and March they did have a Goya exhibit on display.

2. Raise your hand if you saw this coming. :D


	7. Realization

Disclaimer: Once again, I don't own the lovely characters. However, I do own an overflowing bookshelf and a few blank canvases.

Note: A thousand apologies for the long wait! I could give you a crappy excuse about the lack of updates but I'm sure you'd prefer to read about Ami instead. So without further ado, please enjoy chapter seven.

* * *

Chapter 7: Realization

Winter receded, making way for Spring and its welcome greenery. A pleasant time for Ami, she did well in school, and enjoyed her budding relationship with Rei. The parallel was not lost on Ami and a dreamy smile adorned her face every so often. A harsh winter of heartbreak dwindled in the distance and a fresh new start was apparent to the teen. But there were times when Ami inevitably compared Rei to Makoto, the undesirable thoughts seemingly popping up out of thin air.

The dark haired woman was an exemplary definition of a refined but passionate woman while Makoto exuded a beautiful yet wild and raw magnetism. True, they were as different as night and day but neither were any less charming. Ami would dismiss the thoughts quickly, guilt overtaking her at the traitorous observations. However despite the few unexpected comparisons, Rei remained a very pleasant constant in her life, Makoto's appearance few and far in between.

Ami might have found it strange, given the athlete's tendency to show up every week if not for Usagi mentioning the brunette being busy during the coming months. The teen attributed the change due to Makoto spending more time with her blonde girlfriend before rebuking herself for assuming something that not her concern. Usagi had mentioned the news quite casually, her marine eyes seeking any telltale signs of distress from her younger roommate, satisfied when she found none. The blonde was happy to see Ami adjusting well instead of wallowing in first love heartbreak the way Usagi herself had done at fifteen. She was proud of her friend, simply put.

-x-x-x-

Ami slowly walked back towards her dorm on one particularly cool but sunny Friday after beginning her second year. Lost in the display of blossoming greenery surrounding her, she was startled at the buzzing in her pocket. Still not quite used to the newly purchased mobile phone, she fumbled for the vibrating device. A smile bloomed on pink lips as the caller's name revealed itself on the tiny screen.

"Hello," she answered, the smile unconsciously reflected in her voice.

"Hi." Ami could imagine twinkling mauve eyes that accompanied a smile. "How was class?"

"It went well, although Professor Ishigawa assigned quite a load of homework." The teen did not sound the least put-out, instead she sounded as if she was giving a description of the current weather.

Rei laughed over the phone, a sound of chimes tinkling amidst a gentle breeze and Ami could not help but smile as well. "Ami, you're the only girl I know that would sound that positively enthusiastic about homework!"

A light blush graced the younger woman's cheeks as she giggled before teasing back, "You mean to tell me my roommate neglected to inform you of that little tidbit when you pried her for information regarding me?"

A slight gasp could be heard before Rei commented, "Touchè! Some one is being rather feisty today." A voice not belonging to the raven haired woman could be heard in the background before Rei continued. "Anyway, I was calling because I want to know if you're still interested in spending the evening with me? I can meet you in an hour at the teahouse?" There was a hopeful tone in the older woman's voice.

"Of course, I'll do some homework while I wait."

"Oh? I'm starting to get jealous of your homework." Rei teased again.

"Please don't be, I want to get it out of the way so we're free to enjoy the evening." Ami truthfully admitted, her voice soft. Through all their dates the dark haired woman had been very patient with Ami, going only so far as to hold hands or exchanging kisses. The teen was curious about going a bit further with the older woman and figured the evening would be a good time as any to try.

A little of her nervousness might have leaked through however because all Rei said in response was, " Ami..."

The younger woman thought perhaps it would be best to end the conversation there instead of delving into the deeper topic on both of their minds over the phone. "Ah Rei, aren't your classmates waiting on you?"

"O-oh, yes!" Rei's voice was rather flustered, almost sending Ami into giggles but she restrained herself.

"I'll see you in an hour. Bye, Rei."

"Bye, Ami."

-x-x-x-

A few moments later when Ami walked into her favorite establishment she received a shock. Makoto wore a white apron, and a smile as she served a customer located near the door. A bunch of squealing girls occupied the table next to it and Ami recognized them as part of the athlete's fan club. Wherever Makoto went, they were sure to follow, Ami thought to herself wryly. As Makoto tended to another customer, it occurred to the younger woman perhaps this was what Usagi meant when stating the brunette was going to be busy.

As she berated herself for jumping to the wrong conclusion Makoto turned around and caught sight of her. The welcoming smile she wore grew considerably larger and warmer upon spotting the younger woman and Ami felt a familiar twinge in her chest. How was it possible for the brunette to elicit such a reaction without saying a word, she wondered. She sighed to herself while responding with her usual calm smile.

"Dr. Ami! It's so good to see you. Do you usually come here?" The brunette asked, placing a warm hand on Ami's forearm. The blue haired teen almost squirmed at the touch but somehow dredged up the restraint to remain still.

Being in Makoto's presence sent conflicting thoughts racing through her. She wanted to stay and bask under the woman's attractive smile while her brain urged her to leave. Things were going well with Rei and getting distracted with Makoto would only jeopardize the current relationship she had with the dark haired woman. But she couldn't just leave, because Rei would be meeting her here soon.

"Hi Makoto," she greeted back, mentally making her decision. "Yes, it's one of my favorite shops. Although I haven't visited in a couple of weeks." Ami explained as she took a corner seat at a table for two. Makoto handed her a spare menu she usually kept in one of the large apron pockets.

"When did you start working here?" She asked the brunette.

"Two weeks ago," Makoto answered with a smile. "So, what will you have?"

"A milk tea please," she requested before adding, "oh and a blueberry scone."

"Excellent choice." Makoto winked at her before walking off. Ami pinked, unaware she ogled Makoto's rear and long legs in the crisp brown trousers.

She caught herself a moment later, realizing she was no better than the horde of fan girls following the athlete around. Sighing to herself again she removed a textbook from her bag and donned a pair of reading glasses. Immersed in reading, she was unaware of the taller woman standing next to her with a slightly amused smile until the brunette gently placed the teacup down on the table.

"Here you go. Enjoy!"

"Oh, Makoto! I forgot where I was for a moment." The teen adjusted her glasses in a nervous manner.

"No problem," said Makoto, a cheerful smile on her lips. "Are those new glasses? You look really cute with them!"

Blood darkened Ami's cheeks and she was saved from answering when a familiar waitress, Miyu, if Ami correctly recalled her name, called out, "Makoto, a hand please? You're not getting paid to flirt with the customers!"

Instead of looking properly chagrined, Makoto offered Miyu a shameless grin before joining the other woman. Ami noted the woman made a sound of derision but blushed at the brunette's attention nevertheless. It seemed even she could not withstand the bundle of charm that was Makoto. Ami's heart squeezed painfully as she doubted her ability to stay friends with the woman who could easily break so many hearts.

-x-x-x-

The intensity of Ami's kisses astounded Rei but the dark haired woman did not complain. Literally. She was in no position to complain as the younger woman's body was pressed atop her own, their lips fused together, their tongues involved in an age old dance. She did not care to fret either. Earlier, when they met Ami seemed distracted but Rei associated the younger woman's attitude to the conversation they had over the phone, or rather the undertone of the conversation. She figured it would only be normal for Ami to feel nervous. It was one of the reasons why she never pushed for a more physical relationship. She figured when the girl felt comfortable enough then things would happen naturally.

As their lips separated for air Ami moaned when Rei kissed her neck, the dark haired woman's hands traveling from the younger woman's shoulders to her waist. She felt the girl stiffen then relax immediately as her hands worried the hem of Ami's shirt. Kissing Rei again, Ami grabbed her shirt and pulled upwards and over her head when they broke apart. Chests heaving, Rei stared up at the woman straddling her, the dark blue polka-dotted brassiere contrasting prettily against the creamy skin of Ami's torso.

A blush of embarrassment covered the young woman's face as the woman took in the sight before her. Rei acknowledged the amount of courage it must have taken the young woman to sit still while being observed like a sculpture on display. Taking Ami's hand in her own she entwined their fingers before tugging her lower, until their lips joined gently. Ami sighed sweetly against her lower lip and Rei shivered when the girl deepened the kiss. Their bodies shifted together, and the dark haired woman wanted closer contact.

Rei suddenly felt a warm drops of water on her cheeks quickly followed by more. Brows furrowed in bewilderment she pulled away. Ami was frozen, her eyes closed as tears escaped in a trail.

"Ami?" Concern was apparent in the older woman's voice which drove a larger chunk of guilt straight into Ami's mid-section.

"I'm s-sorry." Her hands balled into fists she got off the woman and turned away.

"I'm so very sorry, Rei," Ami whispered as she drew in a harsh breath.

"Why? What's wrong?" Rei's voice low in return, she couldn't quite figure out the sudden situation.

Ami turned to grab her shirt, quickly pulling it over her head. She made her way to the door but Rei grabbed her hand.

"I'm sorry Rei, I-I have to go."

"Stop telling me you're sorry and explain what's happening here, Ami!" Anger emerged with every word. The unexpected harshness from Rei's made Ami stiffen and the older woman felt it. She softened her tone. "Please tell me what's going on. You owe me that at least before you run away."

Ami turned around to see hurt and confusion in Rei's purple eyes and her heart clenched. How had she allow herself to come so far, to harm the wonderfully patient woman standing in front of her. It was selfish of her to think she could have ever resolved anything this way. It was time to face her real feelings and she could only hope for Rei's forgiveness. She steeled herself, desperately seeking the right words.

"It's the waitress, isn't it?" Rei asked, with abrupt insight. She knew she was correct when Ami paled, the younger woman's mouth opening without offering a sound. Now that she thought back to the afternoon, it all made sense. Earlier, at the teahouse Ami occasionally stared at the new waitress. Rei had not found it odd, she did appraise the brunette as well, though not as openly as the younger woman sitting across from her. It was the first time she had seen Ami so aware of someone else and chalked it up to mere curiosity.

"Yes." Ami's defeated voice brought her back to the present.

"Let's sit and talk about this." Rei offered and Ami mutely accepted, nodding her head as she avoided the older woman's eyes.

Ami gingerly sat on the edge of the seat, while Rei sat back and crossed her legs.

"So...what happened?" The older woman prompted.

And so it all came out, haltingly at first until the words rushed out in a torrent along with tears. Throughout it all, Rei listened, a compassionate expression upon her face. She had felt hurt, still did as a matter of fact but it was nothing compared to what Ami was currently experiencing. She did not have the heart to tell Ami that an emotion of that capacity would probably take a long time before dispersing. Instead she provided what Ami needed most of all at that moment- a friend with a shoulder to cry on; after all, she had been there once upon a time as well.

-x-x-x-

Hana faked an impressive yawn and claimed tiredness in an attempt to leave the room. Neither Ami nor Makoto seem to hear, and she was relieved to leave the tension behind. The girls, although twenty-nine and thirty-two respectively, they were still girls compared to her age, were too involved in an awkward dance and it wore her out. Truly, she was too old for drama. She winced when the sound of a slap resounded behind her and paused mid-step. Maybe she wasn't too old for drama after all, as long as it did not involve her.

"What the-" Hana could hear Makoto's shocked, husky voice.

"How could you?" Ami sounded absolutely furious.

"What do you mean?" An irate tone was creeping into Makoto's voice.

"How can you _not_ remember?" Hana nodded, oh yes, Ami was livid. "How can you sit there and _not remember kissing me and then leaving without a word the next day?_"

Hana sighed as she resumed the walk to her room while shaking her head. That girl Makoto had certainly done a good job of bungling things. The old woman sighed again, she hoped fervently for everything to be alright in the morning. She would not be able to enjoy her breakfast with those two awkwardly shuffling around each other.


	8. Oblivious

Disclaimers: Sailor Moon and all its characters belong to Naoko Takeuchi.

Note: I apologize once again for taking so long to update and for this chapter being so short. Also, I know absolutely nothing about botany, I tried doing some research but mostly I am winging it here so please take it with a grain of salt.

* * *

Chapter 8: Oblivious

Right before graduation Makoto was offered a job in the botany department of the university. Considered one of the more promising students, she was assured a research and fieldwork position. Overjoyed, the brunette immediately accepted. Not long after, she heard rumors of a new strain of water lilies circulating and she set out north to find out for herself. It was near Mount Yukikura Makoto located the strange and exotic plant flourishing in a large pond. She made note the plant did not seem to affect either flora or fauna in the surrounding area. There were no forthcoming clues about how the plant came to be but she vowed to find the origin. She also wondered to herself why the name Yukikura sounded so familiar.

It was not until she returned to Tokyo and explained her assignment to Ami and Usagi over dinner one night that she discovered it was the younger woman's hometown. She noticed Ami seemed eager for news of her village and Makoto filled her in as best as she could. The botanist was invited to stop by her home once Ami was back in Yukikura, which would be less than a year's time.

Throughout the years, the village of Yukikura along with Ami and Hana saw Makoto intermittently. She visited the young doctor and her grandmother every time she was in the region to inspect the growth of the waterlilies. Calculations were all well and good in a lab but the botanist was in her element in the midst of nature while taking samples and making notes.

Sometimes Makoto gave notice of her impending visits, sometimes she did not. It did not disturb either Hana or Ami, having a guest, unexpected or not broke the monotony of their days; Hana especially got along very well with the botanist. The doctor, having buried whatever emotion Makoto evoked, had done so for so long it was now second nature to her. Their relationship was one of easy friendship on the surface.

The only person who suspected the woman even harbored feelings for the brunette was Hana. However, the old woman thought it was not her place to mention anything, she was very aware of Ami's reserved nature and respected it. She also suspected their relationship would not stay the same forever, even if the changes happened minutely. Hana had a hunch that water lilies weren't the only things that kept the botanist coming back to Yukikura. If only Ami was cognizant of that fact; and Makoto honest with herself.

-x-x-x-

The slap resonated throughout the living room and Ami would have been horrified at her own action if not for the fact that she was too incensed. The entire evening she felt as if she'd been a step away from careening over a precipice with her emotions while Makoto sat, spoke and even ate dinner nonchalantly. How dare Makoto show up three months later and act as if nothing had occurred. As if _it_ had not happened? It was simply too much to take and she refused to stand for it. She was not a teenager anymore, she was a grown woman who deserved more than a wave and a 'see you', she was entitled to an explanation.

"What the-?" Makoto, startled, could only hold her face at the unexpected sting. Her green eyes were large as saucers.

"How could you?" Ami was furious, her blue eyes ablaze.

Makoto's brow furrowed, thoughts flying fast as she tried to find an explanation for Ami's actions. Did she do something? Did she _not _do something? Nothing could come to mind from her last visit to Yukikura. Well, except her growing attraction to Ami. Did the other woman find out somehow? No, there was no way she could have. The pain of the blow receded but faced with Ami's ire Makoto could not help but respond in kind.

"What do you mean?" The brunette asked, trying to hold back the frustration from entering her voice but doing a poor job of it.

"How can you _not_ remember?" Teeth clenched to prevent herself from shouting, Ami exclaimed, "How can you sit there and _not remember kissing me! And then you leave without a word the next day!_"

Makoto's jaw dropped and she gaped at Ami for full minute in silence. She felt incredibly obtuse when the only sentence she produced was, "I...kissed you?"

-x-x-x-

Yuri gave her a grin, presenting a folder with a flourish and Ami smiled back warmly at the younger woman as she collected the patient's chart. Yuri Saki was her recently hired medical assistant and Ami was happy to see things were working out well between them. The younger woman was very friendly, incredibly efficient and could be counted on should an emergency arise. Ami should know, the woman came highly recommended from a fellow doctor Ami respected. She also thought the young woman reminded her of someone she couldn't place.

"Since it's Friday, are you doing anything this evening Ami-san?" Yuri asked casually as she shuffled through the records on her desk. The clinic was empty and they often passed the time in conversation during the lulls in between patients.

Ami answered absently as she filled out a form, "I have an old friend coming for a visit, she might get here tonight."

"Oh."

Ami missed the young woman's faltering expression before she pasted a smile back on her face.

"That sounds like fun, catching up with your friend."

"Yes, I really enjoy her company, we've known each other since our university days." Ami smiled fondly, if a little bittersweet and Yuri appeared put out as she noticed the expression on the doctor's face.

Yuri tried once again, "Well, I hope you're free one evening for dinner. I'm a very good cook." She offered her best toothy smile to the older woman when Ami looked up.

Ami smiled again, "That sounds delightful, Yuri."

A knock came from the entrance of the clinic and Ami turned in that direction to see the very brunette she spoke of leaning against the open doorway.

"Makoto!" Ami exclaimed, a pleased expression on her face. "I didn't think you'd get here so soon."

"Hey Ami." Makoto greeted her cheerfully in response. She looked at Yuri with a smile as well and the younger woman returned it but with less zeal than she had shown Ami previously.

"This is Yuri Saki, my new medical assistant. Well, not so new, she's been here for two months already." Ami introduced, as Makoto entered the clinic to stand next to Ami, throwing an arm over the doctor's shoulder.

The sight of Makoto and Yuri standing next to each other made Ami's eyes widen. Although the younger woman was not as tall as Makoto she was statuesque in her own right, with sepia hair and hazel eyes. It was no small wonder Yuri radiated familiarity, she gave off the same energy as Makoto; they even had similar looks. Ami winced internally, the likeness between the two women was incredible and she felt rather dense for not making the connection before. An inner voiced she nicknamed Usagi, spoke up stating, '_Why are you getting so worked up? It isn't as if you picked Yuri to be a replacement for Makoto. You don't even like Yuri in a romantic way. '_

Ami stiffened and Makoto immediately felt the shorter woman's body tensing. "Is something wrong, Ami?"

The woman did not answer right away, which worried the brunette. Before she could speak again, Yuri directed a question at Ami, placing a hand on the doctor's arm.

"Are you alright, Ami-san?"

The botanist shot the young woman a look of minor irritation at the tone Yuri used when saying Ami's name. Despite using an honorific it seemed so intimate somehow. Fortunately, her expression smoothed out before the assistant took note of it. She shook her head, why did the thought of the two being close annoy her, it was not any of her business.

"I'm sorry, I'm fine. I was distracted for a moment." Ami finally answered their queries and Makoto left her thoughts for another time.

"Okay." The brunette smiled and hugged Ami which caught her off-guard. "I'll go catch up with Hana since you're still working."

Ami gave her a weak smile as she departed. Yuri just seemed relieved she was leaving. How odd.

* * *

Note: If anyone is confused by the scenes, Ami smacking Makoto is the present while the scene with Yuri is Makoto's previous visit.


	9. Fireside Confessions

_Disclaimers: Sailor Moon and all its characters belong to Naoko Takeuchi._

_Note: Because I happen to love my awesome readers, I have worked my butt off to bring you this chapter. *Looks down at rear*...now I have no butt. I hope you're happy people! Lol. But really, thank you all so much for sticking around and reading this story of mine. :) _

* * *

Chapter 9: Fireside Confessions

"She likes you," Makoto stated, effortlessly stepping over the large rock in her path. The late April day was cool but not cold, a perfect day for hiking as far as the botanist was concerned. Earlier in the day she decided to kill two birds with one stone by asking Ami if she wanted to go inspect the water lilies. It had been a strange whim, asking her suddenly but Makoto was happy when the doctor replied with a yes.

"Huh?" The query was a little more than a huff of air as Ami stepped over the rock as well. Apparently while riding her bike gave her exercise, it was not enough to keep her in the same shape Makoto was in.

"What are you talking about, Makoto?"

"Yuri. She likes you."

Ami shook her head even though the brunette could not see her. "Impossible."

The botanist turned around, "Why is it so impossible? She was beside herself when asking you over for dinner. You didn't see the way she looked at you. When was the last time you went on a date anyway?"

"It's not a date, it's just dinner at her place. She's a nice young woman, that's all." Ami insisted. There was no way Yuri could be interested in her. Although, Ami had in fact noticed the young woman was attractive; but that was the extent of it. "Anyway, you shouldn't spy on others."

Makoto made a noise that could be determined as rude but she didn't speak.

"And," Ami added, "I made it a rule not to date people I work with."

Makoto paused, waiting for Ami to catch up. "You have too many self imposed rules. You, my friend, need to loosen up," she said lightly. Casting an appraising eye on Ami, Makoto took in the appearance of the short silky blue hair, deep eyes, pink lips and creamy skin. Ami, as usual, did not seem to know how attractive she was.

"Do you date the people you work with?" The doctor asked.

Makoto shook her head no, but before Ami could interrupt, she spoke again, "However, if there were any good looking women about, I wouldn't hesitate to ask." The brunette grinned at Ami, her eyes twinkling merrily.

The doctor felt contradicting emotions of irritation and pleasure. Irritation at the botanist's words and pleasure at the smile aimed her way. For as long as she lived, no one made her feel the way Makoto did. The woman could simply smile and reduce her to a puddle. _No, no, this kind of thinking is bad. _She looked around with the intent of finding something to distract her, anything to get certain thoughts of the brunette off her mind. _Yes, because she isn't standing right in front of you now. _The Usagi voice pointed out and she deemed it a traitor for stating the obvious.

She looked around at the budding bushes and trees, the rocky mountain in the distance, at Makoto's perfectly shaped rear encased in worn jeans, to the fox slinking off a few yards away, back to Makoto's derriere...Mesmerized by the pendulum-like swinging of Makoto's hips, Ami's face grew warm. She licked her lips, her hands itching to caress the tall woman leading the way. _Stop it! You're not a randy teenager!_ She told herself. A wicked voice shot back, _No, you're being a lecherous adult. _Ami scowled.

Makoto, finding Ami a bit too silent turned around to catch Ami scowling. It was a rare expression seen on the woman's face. "Something wrong?"

Ami's face relaxed into a smile the brunette was familiar with. "Oh! Nothing to worry about." To change the subject she asked, "How much further?"

"Another twenty minutes down this trail." Makoto answered, completely aware Ami was avoiding the question. She filed it away, to ask another time. There were moments when she felt Ami was hiding something. She often thought to respect Ami's privacy, but now it occurred to her it would not be such a terrible thing to change the shape of their current friendship. Makoto blinked, _Where did that thought come from? And why the need for change?_

Occasionally, the thought of Yuri placing her hand on Ami's arm surfaced in Makoto's consciousness, leaving her with an indescribable feeling. The assistant seemed nice enough and Ami enjoyed her company, she could tell. It was obvious there was nothing wrong with the two of them spending time together, if it meant Ami had some companionship. So, why did the idea of the two of them leave her unsettled?

The rest of the hike was completed in near silence, broken when they made observations of the animals and plants they passed; surreptitiously stealing glances at each other when they thought the other too occupied to notice.

-x-x-x-

Passing through the break of the naturally formed walls, Ami felt her breath catch as she stared at the scenery in front of her. In the middle of the small valley, a pond formed and spread outwards. Flat, round green leaves lay atop the clear water, halfway covering the pond interspersed with budding bits of blue.

"You should see it in summertime." Makoto said proudly, standing at Ami's side. "It really is a sight to behold when everything is blooming." She looked at Ami's entranced expression. "When the lilies open up, they're a most spectacular shade of blue..." Ami glanced at her then and Makoto fell into pthalo blue eyes, deep as the ocean. Her chest constricted, her breath grew short, _The color of your eyes..._

"Makoto?" Ami's voice was low, the intensity of Makoto's gaze surprising her.

She blinked, awareness flooding her as Ami stared at her with concern. She looked away quickly. "Sorry, I was just thinking of something."

"Oh...well, I'll just get out of your way while you work," said Ami as she backed away a few feet. Catching sight of a flickering tail in the crystalline water Ami followed along the bank as it disappeared under a lily pad. The head of a koi floated up and almost out of the water. _It's as if it wanted to taste the air, _Ami thought with a smile. A couple of fish joined the first, creating a group. Ami giggled to herself when they carried the appearance of a dance troupe doing an interpretive dance.

Several feet away Makoto delved into the slim knapsack she carried on her shoulders during the hike. Taking out a notebook, and a digital camera she immediately went to work snapping a few pictures. Glancing over at Ami, she saw the doctor leaning close to the water, a most childlike look of joy on her face. She quickly pointed the camera in the other woman's direction and captured the expression. Rarely did she see Ami's countenance in such a manner during their interactions. It would be a shame to not chronicle something so wonderful.

Smiling in triumph at the photo of a clearly unguarded Ami, Makoto snapped a few more shots before picking up the notebook to make her observations. She loved coming to this small undisturbed valley. An untouched paradise nestled among mountains, nature prospered, a perfect balance to be found amidst each life form. She truly felt at peace here, away from the bustle of people and technology. This was her haven.

A low rumble in the distance made Ami look up. Alarm grew in her at the sight of fat gray clouds hanging low over the horizon and above them.

"Makoto!"

The botanist glanced up from her notebook at Ami's apprehensive tone. Following the doctor's gaze upwards she muttered "Crap."

"Makoto, did you check the weather today?" Ami asked. Another rumble sounded in the distance and she felt a drop of water landing on her.

"Yes. Damn it, that idiot weatherman said no rain all weekend." Makoto growled, as she hurriedly threw her notebook and camera into her bag. She saw the rain descending, obscuring the view of the other side of the valley as it fell. It would be upon them in seconds. Cursing the fact that she did not have the foresight to bring either a raincoat or umbrella just in case, she grabbed Ami's hand in her own.

Ami was confused when Makoto took her hand. "What are you doing?"

"Come on, I know a spot we can hide out nearby." Makoto, called out to Ami behind her as she started to run. Ami could do nothing but hold onto the taller woman's hand and follow. An unexpected rush of exhilaration filled her as the smell of ozone entered her nostrils, the acute feeling of her hand in Makoto's. They were soaked in moments, the heavy rain blurring the surroundings until Ami felt like they were the only two people in the world. Makoto laughed wildly as they ran, and Ami felt an echoing of the same amusement building up in her until it burst forth. Laughing like loons, Makoto led the way to a shallow cave roughly the size of a fourteen foot square room. They stood at the wide mouth of the enclosure, looking outwards at the downpour while they caught their breaths.

"How did you know about this cave?" Ami asked, when she finally turned around to peruse the interior. In the center of the grotto was a stone fire pit and a bit of leftover ash. In another corner of the cave she spotted a small bundle of dried branches and twigs. She looked back at Makoto in confusion.

The brunette scratched a cheek self-consciously. "Sometimes, when I have vacations I come here to camp out."

Ami's jaw dropped at the admission. "You camp out during your vacations?"

Makoto nodded, almost shyly. The doctor glanced around the cave again. In a way it made sense, of all the scenarios to picture Makoto this fit the brunette the most. A smile grew on Ami's face while she shook her head. Only Makoto could surprise her like this after all this time.

The brunette stayed at the mouth of the cave as Ami entered further. The reminder that they are both wet occurred to Makoto when she noticed the way the woman's clothing clung to her. The pale yellow shirt Ami wore was now practically see through, the camisole with a simple lace border under the woman's shirt noticeable. Her eyes ventured lower to view the formfitting jeans. _Wait, why am I checking Ami out? _Ami spun around and the botanist's green gaze darted up into azure guiltily. They stared at each other, Makoto quickly forgetting the pang of guilt she felt a moment ago.

Ami's breath caught in her throat from the sudden heat of the brunette's gaze. Her nipples started to harden under the woman's attention and Ami felt sudden horror Makoto might notice. Quickly, she brought her arms up from her sides to fold them in front of her chest. Ami's abrupt movement broke the spell overtaking Makoto.

"Are you cold?" The tall woman asked.

Ami nodded, not trusting her voice to speak. To think her body was starting to betray her just because Makoto looked her way. Maybe the brunette was right, perhaps it was time she went out on a date. The inner voice called Usagi spoke, _What if she was looking at you? As in, finally looking the way you've wanted her to for years. _Ami scoffed to herself._ Makoto does not date women like me, there's just no way. _

Her eyes followed the movements of the tall woman who now stooped next to the fire pit arranging a few pieces of kindling. Satisfied with the preparation the brunette reached into her backpack to bring out a box of matches.

Matches.

This was the type of woman Ami was in love with, someone who preferred a small cave in a valley hidden away from mankind over a five star hotel in a faraway city; a woman who seemed prepared for everything and even if she was not, she somehow found a way to make things better. And she would never have her. Ami felt an ache in her chest, tears prickling at the corners of her eyes. She turned away, facing the mouth of the cave and the rain to avoid Makoto's eyes. Her periphery showed the woman bending over the tiny flame, gently feeding it puffs of air and kindling. She quickly swiped at the tears, determined not to fall apart with only Makoto for company.

Clearing her throat she joined the woman at the fire. Makoto glanced up, an easy grin on her face. "Not bad, huh?"

Ami could not help but smile back, "Not bad, indeed. I never knew you were such an expert camper." She teased.

Makoto's expression turned serious. "It seems there are a lot of things we don't know about each other."

They stared into the fire, each lost in thought about the other. The flames licked the air and urged them to speak. Both felt hesitant about breaking the silence.

"Ami." Makoto's voice was low.

"Hmm?" The answering tone just as low, the doctor sat with her legs drawn up in front of her chest, chin resting on her knees.

"Why are you avoiding dating? Aren't you interested in a relationship?"

Ami pretended she didn't hear the questions, instead asking, "Do you think the rain will let up soon?"

Makoto snorted. "Ami, you're doing a terrible job of changing the topic."

There was no answer for a while and Makoto decided not to demand one, Ami probably had a good reason. Therefore, she was surprised when the woman began to speak.

"I've had a few relationships," Ami began."They just didn't work out."

"Why? I can't imagine someone not wanting to be with you. Ami, you're amazing!"

_You didn't think so. _

Ami lowered her face to her knees, wanting to hide for moment from the unfair thought and Makoto's searching look. Sighing she lifted her head.

"It wasn't them, it was me."

Makoto looked confused.

"I compared everyone to my first love and found them all lacking." Ami admitted with her heart pounding. The revelation brought forth quiet and she felt the need to elaborate. "They were wonderful people. I-I just wanted someone I could not have."

"Usagi?" Makoto was curious to find out who could have such a lasting effect on her friend.

Ami pinked, shaking her head as she stared into the flames. "Not Usagi. You don't know the person." Berating herself for lying, she refused to look at the emerald eyed woman.

Silence permeated the cave, the only sound present the crackling of the fire and the sounds of rain.

Some time had passed, Makoto shifting until she was laying on her back looking up at the ceiling, her arms were crossed under her head. "I've never been in love."

Ami merely waited, she knew the botanist would continue speaking.

Perhaps it was the comfort of the low fire, of Ami's unassuming presence and the fact that Ami shared something she usually kept to herself; Makoto felt the need to share something in return.

"I promised myself I would never fall in love. From a young age I saw what it could do to someone." She glanced at Ami and saw woman nod at her to continue.

"My father walked out on us-my mother and I-when I was six years old. I will always remember the contemptuous look he threw my way before he left. But what I will remember most is my mother. My father leaving simply broke her. She sat around waiting for him to return, forgetting everything else. Including the fact she had a daughter."

"Oh, Makoto," Ami breathed, placing a hand on the woman's arm. Her eyes shone with unshed tears for young Makoto.

"I vowed I would never be that kind of woman." The brunette said quietly as she looked away.

A lull invaded once again and Ami realized the sound of rain could no longer be heard. Makoto reached the same conclusion. Taking out a water bottle from her bag she poured the contents over the low flames, effectively dousing it.

"We should go now since the rain has stopped." She stated, her voice huskier than usual.

Ami only nodded, words failing her as she followed the brunette's footsteps towards home. Because of Makoto's usual cheery personality, she would have never assumed the woman bore such pain deep inside. The afternoon had turned into a bittersweet one indeed.

-x-x-x-

"We're back!" Ami called out as they stepped into the entryway of the house. Upon receiving no answer Ami called out again.

"Grandma Hana?" Taking off her hiking boots, Ami stepped towards the telephone resting on a low table in the hallway. There was a notepad located next to the phone, used not only for messages but for notes to the two inhabitants of the house.

_Ami-chan,_

_Takeda-kun is taking Maya and _

_Yumi-chan to the hot springs for an_

_overnight stay. I was invited as well. _

_I imagine I'll be long gone by the time _

_you kids get back. I will see you tomorrow _

_afternoon. _

_-Hana_

_p.s. You should offer Makoto some of the _

_plum sake. _

She looked up to find Makoto staring at her with a raised eyebrow. "She went an overnight trip to the hot springs."

"Hot springs, huh? Lucky old woman, I could use a nice soak too." Stretching as she grinned, Makoto appeared to be back to normal, the melancholy displayed in the cave and during the walk back evidently dispelled.

_Or buried deep inside once again_, Ami guessed to herself.

She decided to follow the woman's example and put aside all heavy thoughts for now. Working together, they made dinner in easy silence. It was not the first time Makoto used the kitchen. The fare was simple and delicious, perhaps more so because of their hungry bellies. Ami decided to take Hana's suggestion and served sake to a most willing Makoto and to herself as well. They spoke of safe topics, Ami shared anecdotes of the villagers; Makoto mentioned life in Tokyo and news of Usagi and Mamoru, Rei and Mina and their children.

The evening passed quickly in that manner and after dinner they retired to the living room with another _tokkuri_ of sake. The brunette found herself most impressed with the alcohol when Ami mentioned it was made by Hana.

"Is there anything that woman can't do?" Ami could tell Makoto was nearing an intoxicated state from the slight slurring of her words.

The doctor giggled before taking another sip of her sake. "I'm going to be thirty this year and I'm still in awe. I think I'll forever be in amazed by grandma Hana."

Ami took another sip before continuing,"Did she tell you about Keiko? I came home for my first break-"

A soft snore interrupted her story. Ami glanced at Makoto and saw the woman laying forward, her upper body resting on the low table. Her lips were parted as gentle snores escaped.

Ami yawned. "That _has_ to be uncomfortable," she muttered before settling herself into a position like that of the other woman. Her eyes drifted close seconds after laying her head down on the table.

-x-x-x-

She awoke, shivering, her neck and back feeling cramped from sleeping in such an awkward position. Makoto lay in the same spot across from her. Rubbing a hand at the back of her neck, Ami stood, checking the time. _One a.m., plenty of sleep to still be had_, she thought blearily.

Leaving Makoto in the living room, she headed towards the bedrooms to prepare futons for the brunette and herself. Feeling quite sober and awake once she finished the task she made her way to back to Makoto's side.

Laying a hand on the brunette's, she called out gently. "Makoto."

The tall woman raised a hand as if to swat an annoying fly. "G'way," she muttered with her eyes closed.

"Come on Makoto...There's a futon ready for you." The botanist grunted and rose shakily to her legs with Ami helping her up. Fortunately, their bedrooms were located next to each other, so Ami did not have far to go once she escorted the woman to her usual room. Ami opened the door and Makoto straightened up beside her.

"Ami." Despite her husky voice, Makoto looked quite lucid and awake. Ami turned to face her.

Blinking, the doctor was shocked to find warm lips atop her own, Makoto's arms wrapped around her body holding her close. The thought occurred to Ami that something was not quite right but the heated assault of the brunette's lips upon her own made any protest she formed to quickly die away. Her eyes closed, she leaned into Makoto's strong form.

The kiss confirmed everything she had ever felt from the moment they met. Lips parted, the brunette's tongue invaded her mouth and Ami moaned in pleasure, shudders wracking her body as the sweetness of Makoto's mouth left her intoxicated in a way sake never could. They both sighed as the kiss ended.

"Goodnight Ami." Spoken in a whisper, Makoto stepped into the room pulling the door closed behind her automatically.

Ami stood in the hallway, frozen. Her lips positively _tingled_. Finally she noticed the other woman has already gone. Mechanically making her way to her own bed, she undressed all the while being incredible aware of the woman in the next room. Tossing and turning, she did not sleep until the tinge of dawn arrived.

When Ami awoke again the sun sat high in the sky, and the house too quiet. She checked the kitchen first, then the guest room. Panic brushed at her, ready to rush in and fill all the spaces within her. There was no sign of Makoto or her things. All she found was a short note.

_Dear Ami,_

_Thank you for letting me stay,_

_as usual. Unfortunately, I have to be_

_back in Tokyo by evening so I need an_

_early head start. Sorry I didn't wake _

_you or make any breakfast, _

_I figured you could use all the sleep _

_especially after drinking all that sake. _

_I'll be in touch. _

_-Mako_

Ami crumpled the note, disappointment laying heavy in her, leaving her almost nauseous. How many times now? How many times did she have any kind of hope only to find it shattered, much like her heart?

* * *

Tokkuri - ceramic flask used to serve sake.

* * *

_Note: Sigh...yes, I do feel horrid for doing this to Ami. It will get better. I promise! Reviews are most welcome, I enjoy hearing from my readers!  
_


	10. The Scent of Jasmine

_Disclaimers: All characters except Hana Masuyo belong to Naoko Takeuchi. As usual, if the idea of same sex relationships offend you, kindly hit that back button, this story isn't for you. _

_Note: And here we are finally, the real chapter 10. Most of it was beta'd, however I made some additions just before posting so eventually I'll be editing in corrections later. Right now I am too impatient to wait and I feel like I've kept you waiting long enough, dear readers. :)  
_

_Thanks again goes out to my beta, ReaderMarz for her awesome editin' skillz. _

* * *

Chapter 10: The Scent of Jasmine

_Soft lips moving under hers responsively, a sigh of contentment emitted from deep within..._

Makoto opened her eyes and sighed. Sitting up and pushing aside her covers forcefully, she stalked into the bathroom. It was the same dream again, the one where she was kissing Ami. And Ami was kissing her back just as intensely. The first time it happened she had been home for a week and the dream left her feeling rather puzzled upon waking. Now it happened often, whenever she thought of writing or calling Ami. For some reason or another it made her nervous and so she held off contacting the woman.

Makoto ran a hand through her mahogany hair in frustration as she stood in front of her bathroom mirror. Her hair looked wild, random strands sticking out of the brown mass. The skin under her eyes was starting to look dark due to the restless nature of her sleep. Not once had she ever felt so confused about someone in her entire life. Of all people to leave her so distracted: Ami was her friend, she couldn't be feeling this way. And why only now? Makoto was fully aware something had changed between her and Ami during her last visit to Yukikura. But what?

The thought that she found Ami attractive and wanted her was a new one for Makoto. Yes, she had always known Ami was good looking but she had never before seen her in such a light. Deep down she knew she was being unfair; from the moment they met to the present, she viewed Ami as the sixteen year old she met in university but somehow during the course of the past few visits she came to see her finally as a grown woman. Makoto had to admit to herself that Ami was so very appealing.

Deep blue eyes and pink, plump lips in the shape of a faintly amused smile flashed in front of her. Another look of Ami's she had seen just once came to her. Recalling the look of love commingled with sorrow, she wondered not for the first time who exactly was the woman's first love. Why did she feel a stirring of dislike for that person? She had the same feeling whenever she pictured Yuri touching Ami in any way. She didn't like it one bit. Makoto kept asking herself one question as she stared at her reflection.

Why did it matter to her so much?

-x-x-x-

Makoto's heart pounded in her throat and she could barely get out the words to ask "It was real?" She closed the distance between her and Ami, a small amount of desperation in her eyes as she clutched the smaller woman's wrist.

"We really kissed?"

"Yes," Ami replied, finding her voice after an unexpected pause. The ire that filled her only a few seconds ago drained rapidly, replaced by confusion from Makoto's behavior.

The answer invited silence; the sound of a pin dropping could have been easily heard. Desperation faded from Makoto's eyes and they became indecipherable. Ami could feel the hot, heavy scrutiny of the brunette on her face; staring into her eyes before dropping to her slightly parted lips. She found it hard to breathe, wanting nothing but to press her lips to Makoto's. The skin of her wrist under Makoto's hand burned. A thousand butterflies filled Ami's stomach, gossamer wings beating against their prison as they sought liberation.

The hoot of an owl nearby broke the spell causing Makoto to drop Ami's hand as if it were a hot coal. For good measure she took a few steps back ensuring there was an adequate amount of space between them. Eyes averted, each woman spent a moment trying to regain their usual poise.

Makoto was the first to speak, somewhat shocked on the inside to hear the tremulous notes in her voice. She never thought she would hear herself speak with such nervousness after she turned thirty. However, here she was, her husky voice abandoning whatever pretense she meant to hold in place as a facade.

"Ami, I apologize for kissing you. I can't seem to remember much of the last night I was here," the brunette began. "We were drinking... After that everything is blank until the next morning."

In frustration, she ran her hands through the bangs of her hair. Ami wanted to go to her, to comfort the tall woman despite the pain she felt upon finding the kiss had been a drunken error of judgment on Makoto's part. She held herself back, waiting for the woman to go on.

The brunette exhaled a puff of air before continuing, "Blaming the alcohol is a lame excuse. I shouldn't have done that to a friend. I'm-well, plain and simple, I'm sorry Ami. I'll do anything to make it up to you."

"I'm sorry," Ami said, quietly.

"Huh?"

Ami gestured toward her cheek and Makoto touched the left side of her face in remembrance. "There's no need to apologize for it. I deserved it," Makoto stated, her hand dropping to her side.

"No, I-"

Makoto held up a hand stopping her mid-sentence, her tone flat. "Really. It's okay."

Ami wanted this conversation to end, she felt exhausted and ashamed. It was mortifying how quickly she snapped in Makoto's presence. All she wanted to do now was hide under her bed covers like a child, hoping it would all blow over in the morning and things would somehow be magically different. The rational part of her scoffed at herself for even entertaining the thought. Even so, she did not have the courage to stay and continue this particular conversation with the other woman.

"I hope you don't mind, Makoto, perhaps we could continue this conversation tomorrow?" Ami held her breath, afraid the brunette would say no. A sickly feeling of elation swirled in her stomach when a brief expression of relief passed over Makoto's face.

"Yes, I think some rest would do us both some good," Makoto agreed. However, she couldn't help but feel a little distressed at Ami's muttered goodnight and hasty exit.

-x-x-x-

Makoto punched the pillow in her quest to find a comfortable spot to fall asleep. It was past midnight, and all was quiet except for the cricket-song pervading the night air; she could hear the sounds clearly through the open windows. The faint scent of the night-blooming jasmine from the inner courtyard wafted into the room courtesy of a light breeze. Lying still, Makoto took a deep breath, letting the aromatic odor calm her. She recalled the same scent from the last visit. Admitting to herself it would be a while before sleep claimed her, she sat upright in bed and sighed.

Why, oh why had she kissed Ami?

Simply put, because she was attracted to her friend. And while Makoto was commitment-phobic, she did not renounce physical attraction whenever it reared its head. The women she involved herself with echoed the same sentiment, although most people would be surprised at the small number of those relationships Makoto allowed herself.

So what was she going to do? Suggest an affair to Ami? Makoto laughed, silently and mockingly at the idea. She needed to find a way to fix this, to restore her and Ami's relationship back to their comfortable level of friendship and to suppress whatever desires were developing for the woman in the next room.

Giving up on finding a solution, Makoto stood and crossed the room to the sliding door. Perhaps a beer or two might help her sleep. Her mouth hitched into a wry smile; alcohol landed her in trouble the last time and here she was relying on it again. The irony was not lost to her.

-x-x-x-

While the house was traditional, the kitchen was not. Ami's grandfather, Hana's husband, was a carpenter who had a passion for cooking. In their thirties when they inherited the house Hana left all decisions regarding their home to him. The only changes he made were to the kitchen: creating low, wide counters with enough room to prepare food while others could sit and eat on the other side on low benches. He had also added whatever modern convenience he deemed necessary, such as a proper stove and refrigerator.

Hana heartily approved; even though she could cook, she did not particularly care to do so and left the preparation of the meals to her husband. If having an up-to-date kitchen pleased him, then it pleased her in turn. Of course some neighbors were quite scandalized when they learned instead of cooking, Hana relied on her husband to do so.

Gently rubbing her fingers over the smooth counter-top, a small smile grew on Ami's face as she remembered Hana telling her stories of the neighbors' shock and how much it amused the older woman while growing up. Ami loved this kitchen, loved this house and not for the first time wondered if she would ever get the chance to experience the kind of love Hana spoke of when she mentioned her grandfather, or even Keiko. Would she ever get to experience any of it in this house? The smile on her face dimmed, replaced by a look of melancholy.

She raised the beer bottle to her lips, about to take a sip when a movement in the periphery made her pause. Makoto stood in the doorway, caught in the act of turning away.

"I...," Makoto began, seemingly at a loss for words.

"Couldn't sleep?" Ami asked, and the tall woman nodded. "Me either."

Makoto stood at the door, undecided on whether she should join Ami or pretend she was on the way to the restroom.

"Please, don't leave on my account." The low and unusually throaty tone in which Ami spoke made Makoto nod again and step into the kitchen. It also made her heart ache suddenly. If she was the one to put such a sad look on Ami's face then how could she ever forgive herself? Taking a breath and aiming for normalcy Makoto tilted her head towards the beer in Ami's hand.

"Aren't you usually the glass of red wine type?"

"Oh...I thought I'd try slumming it tonight. You know, do what the peons do, that sort of thing." Ami played along, a slight smile on her face.

"The peons, huh?" Makoto asked, as she helped herself to a beer from the fridge. "Is milady pleased with our lowly beverage?"

A look of mock disdain danced on Ami's face, a small twinkle in her eye. "It will suffice, for now."

Makoto chuckled and the sound wrapped itself around Ami's heart. Taking a seat on the low bench next to the doctor, the two sat in silence, occasionally raising the bottles to their mouths. As the scent of jasmine perfumed the air, a modest amount of peace settled upon them.

With Makoto sitting at her side, Ami pushed all other thoughts out of her head. Telling herself it was enough to just give in and enjoy this quiet moment, Ami did exactly that. But she didn't particularly care to finish her beer now, she had something else in mind. Placing the bottle down onto the counter, she turned to Makoto.

"Do you want to take a midnight ride? The moon is full, so it's a good night for it."

Makoto almost choked mid-gulp. She sputtered for a moment before regaining her breath. _Midnight ride? _Those words could be downright dirty given the right kind of context. But Ami couldn't possibly be thinking _that_? Could she? Wasn't it just a couple of hours ago she got slapped for a kiss?

Ascertaining the brunette was fine after the coughing fit, Ami explained further, "Sometimes when I can't sleep and the moon is full, I do it. You can use Hana's bicycle if you'd like, it still works well and has been sitting in the garage for far too long. The neighbor uses it on occasion." Ami was well aware she was on the verge of rambling while waiting for an answer from the tall woman. There was also a rather odd expression on Makoto's face.

_Bicycle? Oh! She meant _that _kind of ride..._

Makoto heaved a sigh of relief. It was just her own mind in the gutter then.

"Sure."

Ami's countenance brightened. "Great! Meet me by the garage door when you're done getting dressed."

"Okay," she answered, as she stared at Ami's retreating back. It had certainly been an interesting day and it seemed far from over. If doing something like this was what it took to put a smile on Ami's face then she'd gladly do it again and again.

-x-x-x-

Hana, awake in her bed, heard the low murmuring of voices from the kitchen. A few minutes later footsteps that were supposed to be stealthy slipped by her room before she heard the sliding of the front door. Hana found it amusing; they were two grown women yet they were sneaking out like teenagers. A rusty chuckle escaped her lips.

_Oh to be young again. _

* * *

_And here we go, finally. What a long day for Ami and Makoto! Hahah. Feedback, as always, would be most welcome! :)_

_Reader James Birdsong, I'm quite pleased to see you are still following this tale. Thank you for commenting!  
_


	11. Temptation

_Disclaimers: All characters except Hana Masuyo belong to Naoko Takeuchi. As usual, if the idea of same sex relationships offend you, kindly hit that back button, this story isn't for you. _

_Thank you,friend and beta, ReaderMarz once again. :)_

* * *

Chapter 11: Temptation

The first one to get dressed, Ami stood outside the front door of the house for a moment, deeply breathing in the night air. Asking Makoto to go on a ride with her had been purely impulsive, a whim to get rid of nervousness due to the sudden intimacy of sitting together in the homey kitchen. However, the summer night, balmy and highlighted by silver moonlight didn't seem to be helping; she felt more anxious than ever. Taking several deep breaths she headed towards the garage.

One particular thought, though, kept bothering her. Either it had slipped Makoto's mind that Ami kissed her back or Makoto just didn't want to mention it, preferring to shoulder the blame herself. Both theories had the smaller woman experiencing guilt for not coming clean about her own willing participation. When it happened, she had wanted that kiss, wanted it much more than Makoto might ever imagine. Stopping in front of the open garage door, the moment replayed itself in her head. Her hand came up to lightly rub her lips as the memory unveiled itself. Makoto's lips had felt so very right against her own, not to mention how good the brunette was at kissing.

_Just what am I doing? _She shook her head to dispel the picture and its accompanying feelings.

Stepping into the cool interior she wheeled out Hana's bicycle first before dropping the kick-stand and returning for her own. Hands on the handlebars of her bicycle, Ami walked outside to see Makoto reverently touching the handlebars and the seat of Hana's 1950s styled red and white cruiser. Even by moonlight Makoto could tell how good of a condition the bike was in despite its age.

"She's beautiful," Makoto breathed with awe in her voice.

"Yes," Ami agreed, although her eyes were on the brunette instead of the vehicle. Makoto had changed into a pair of slim khaki shorts that ended a little above her knees. The grey tank top she wore exposed a good deal of skin, displaying strong, toned shoulders. As Ami stared at Makoto's shoulders she experienced a sudden urge to lick the oh-so-tempting body part. A furious burst of red adorned her cheeks at the thought, her hands gripping her handlebars tightly.

_Oh dear god, what is wrong with me?_

Her gaze dropped to the handlebars; her knuckles were white with tension. Loosening her grip she sucked in a breath of air in order to calm herself.

"Ami?"

"Ready, Makoto?" Her voice came out squeakier than she intended. Why did Makoto continue to have such an effect on her? There were times when she felt like nothing more than the sixteen-year-old Ami in front of this impressive, not to mention unattainable woman.

"Yes," Makoto replied. She was already sitting on the bike, her left foot planted on the ground while the right rested on a pedal. There was nothing in her pose to indicate impatience; instead, she looked quite relaxed and at home sitting in that manner, a delighted smile aimed at Ami on her face.

Makoto observed the flush of crimson that spread across Ami's face. The smaller woman wore a soft-looking olive green spaghetti tank top: the very same one she had been wearing in the kitchen a few moments ago the brunette realized. It was no wonder Ami had gotten dressed so quickly. Olive green stripes on the plaid drawstring shorts she wore complimented the top. A pair of flat gray sneakers covered her feet.

_She looks nice and casual. Very cute, _Makoto thought to herself as Ami mounted her bike and took off slowly. _But why is she blushing?_The question was soon forgotten when a smooth expanse of Ami's slender thighs and calves were revealed due to her shorts hitching up as she rode.

"Oh crap..." Makoto muttered. She was starting to question if a night ride with Ami was a good idea. Every time she turned around there was something new to tempt her. _Think of work,_ _think of the water lilies! No, no, no, they remind me of her eyes. Let's see...cooking! Think of ingredients!_But what Makoto really pictured was Ami braced seductively against her kitchen counter wearing a pink, short, ruffled, sexy apron. No other stitch of clothing could be seen on her.

"Agh!" Makoto spat a short bark of frustration.

"Did you say something, Makoto?" Ami called back to the brunette as they exited through the large wooden gates that were usually left open, much like the garage door. Living in a small community, there was no need to lock the gates or even doors the way people in large cities tended to do.

"Just saying what a nice night it is!" Makoto remarked quickly, but as the words left her lips she realized how true they were. It was indeed a beautiful July night, the full moon replacing all vibrant color with monochromatic shades. Every leaf, flower, and blade of grass glistened, coated in a new quicksilver glamour.

Across the road, opposite the house, fields of rice paddies waved and danced under the breezy summery darkness. The lack of street lamps allowed the moon the honor of being the sole source of light. The croaking of hidden frogs provided music for this wondrous landscape, and every so often pebbles crunched under their tires, adding to the symphony of collective melodies.

Distracted by the scenery around her Makoto increased her pace to ride side by side with Ami.

"Do you just ride aimlessly like this, or do you always have a particular destination in mind?" she asked, looking straight ahead at the glimmering road.

"It starts out quite aimless," Ami said with a laugh. "But somehow I always end up at the lake."

"Do you go swimming?" Makoto asked with a grin.

"Oh no!" Ami giggled. "It's not like I have a swimsuit with me."

"So?" Makoto asked, very serious.

Immediately catching Makoto's insinuation, Ami's face flamed. She should not have been shocked, but she was nevertheless, at the brunette's disregard for propriety. Despite her embarrassment her traitorous mind helpfully provided a naked Makoto immersed in the lake up to her chest. Ami rallied on, however, with what she thought was a suitable amount of outrage.

"Makoto, I happen to live here with these people. And I see some everyday!" Her tone implied nothing short of being scandalized as she stared straight ahead.

"It's the middle of the night, who's going to see?" The brunette asked curiously, playing the devil's advocate while sporting a slight grin. She glanced at the woman to her right; she was actually quite charmed by Ami's modesty.

Ami did not provide an answer, instead choosing to ride in silence. After a few minutes she turned to Makoto. "Do you remember the way to the lake?"

"Yes," Makoto answered immediately, wondering why Ami asked.

"Good. Race you there!" Ami said before taking off, her smooth legs pumping the pedals, her rear practically rising off the seat.

Jaw dropping from the sudden departure, all Makoto could do was stare at Ami's back as distance increased between them.

"Wha-hey! Wait!" Coming to her senses Makoto lunged off her seat, the muscles of her calves flexing as her legs pushed the pedals while she chased after Ami. A playfully feral grin flickered on her face.

"So, you want to play like that?" She asked out loud, into the darkness, speaking more to herself than to the other woman. Brown hair, turned dark in the moonlight, streamed behind her as she spun onto the dirt road to her left, exhilaration sweeping through her at the speed. Makoto barely noticed they were leaving the fields of rice paddies behind, as she flew past the random copses of trees dotting the landscape on the way to the lake. She spotted Ami up ahead, a good twenty feet between them; Ami was her goal. The distance between them reduced rapidly.

Ahead of her Ami slowed, her speed dwindling down to an effortless glide before she turned once more with the dirt path. Beyond her Makoto could see the dark, shimmering water of the lake. Pulling up beside Ami they sat on the bicycles, side by side, pairs of blue and green eyes watching the lake as they caught their breaths.

"You lost," Ami chuffed a moment later, a small amount of triumph in her voice. It was the first time Makoto had heard that particular tone. She grinned.

"It's because you cheated," Makoto joked as she placed her hands on her hips, her feet planted firmly on the ground.

"No, it's because you're slow." Ami turned to tease her, blue eyes twinkling with mischief. Her hair was an adorably messy mass of blue and Makoto itched to touch it.

"Oh, you wound me so," she retorted with a drawl. "And really, who would have thought _the_straight-laced Dr. Ami Mizuno would have a competitive streak a mile wide?" Giving into the urge, her right hand came up and brushed through the short blue locks of Ami's hair.

The small woman stood still, caught between wanting to simply enjoy the pleasurable feeling of Makoto's hand in her hair or to touch the tall woman in return. Tired of thinking, Ami decided to let her body speak for itself, the countless inner arguments tossed aside. She caressed the side of Makoto's face, fingers gently tracing over hot skin.

At the touch Makoto propelled herself backwards and off the bike, clumsily putting space between them. "Oh god, I'm doing it again. I'm sor-"

"Makoto, stop," Ami called out, firmness apparent in her tone. The brunette looked at her mid-apology, somewhat confused.

"I want you to touch me. I wanted-" the words caught in her throat and she gulped before trying again. "I liked kissing you. And I can't help but want to do it again. I don't want you to apologize for it." Losing her nerve after the confession, Ami looked down at her feet. She heard a kickstand drop and the crush of pebbles underfoot as Makoto drew near her.

"Let's sit for a moment, okay?"

Following the brunette's example, Ami got off the bike and found a spot on the grass that afforded a pretty view of the lake. A cool spot for teenagers and children to play and swim during hot days, the body of water was twenty-five feet deep in the middle. Not far from where she sat, a sandy area at the edge of the lake created a natural tiny beach.

Makoto joined her in the grass immediately, sitting to her left, long legs stretched out before her. "Then why the slap?"

"Because you left without a word. I didn't think it was right to just leave a note after it happened. I didn't hear from you for months and then you show up out of the blue acting as if everything was fine." Ami ran her fingers nervously through the blades of grass under her fingers at her side as she spoke. "I really am sorry for slapping you."

"I thought it was a dream." Makoto was staring at her, a slight smile of bemusement on her face. "After I got back to Tokyo, I kept having the same dream. I was kissing you," Makoto exhaled. "It felt so good."

Ami blushed, Makoto's eyes meeting hers.

"Even now, I'm so tempted..." Makoto whispered.

Objections about Makoto not wanting a relationship or the fact that she wasn't interested in love surfaced, but instead of listening Ami ignored all the little voices and succumbed to what she wanted for years. Leaning in, she brushed her lips against Makoto's. It was so very sweet and perfect; they both sighed in contentment.

Tentatively, she swept her tongue over Makoto's lips and the tall woman eagerly met Ami's with her own. As they deepened the kiss, the small woman placed both her palms on Makoto's shoulders, squeezing, before pushing the brunette down into the grass. One of Makoto's hands dove into Ami's hair, pulling her closer while the other hand splayed against the small of Ami's back, the length of their bodies stretched out together.

The moon continued to shine down, the only spectator to their sweet embrace.

-x-x-x-

It was morning and Hana walked into the kitchen expecting to find it empty only to encounter a scene straight out of a newlywed album. Ami stood at the stove, spatula in hand while Makoto arranged the dishes. Every so often the two would look up and share a secretive little smile, or even linger a little next to each other before continuing their tasks.

Hana seated herself quietly, burying the urge to laugh, settling instead for smirking behind her newspaper.

_It seems a little moonlit exercise can work wonders._

* * *

_Thank you for reading, as always, I love feedback! _


	12. Plans

_Disclaimers: All characters except Yuri Saki belong to Naoko Takeuchi. As usual, if the idea of same sex relationships offend you, kindly hit that back button, this story isn't for you. _

_Note: This is a short chapter but fear not, the next chapter will be up soon(a day or two)!  
_

_A big thanks to ReaderMarz for stepping into the role of beta reader. :)_

* * *

Chapter 12: Plans

An incredibly pleasant breakfast several hours behind her, Ami was lost in thought at her desk in the clinic. The pen stood still in her fingers, its task of entering notes into a patient's chart at a pause. Years ago, if anyone had asked her if it was possible for Ami to fall deeper into love with Makoto Kino, the doctor would have shaken her head and replied with a negative. However, after last night she had been proven wrong. Even so, she could not shake the idea that this was a dream and eventually she'd have to return to reality once Makoto left for Tokyo. The thought hurt but it was far too late to go back to the way things were now. No, right now she would simply accept what the other woman was willing to give no matter what the future held.

_In the midst of an intense kissing session with Makoto, Ami could think of nothing but getting closer to the brunette. How she had burned to feel the woman's skin against her own all these years. Rational thought and patience deserting her, Ami had been reduced to simply enjoying the sensation of Makoto's strong hands, warm body and hot mouth. Slipping her hands under the hem of Makoto's tank top, Ami moaned heavily at the sensation of toned abdominal muscles covered in velvety soft skin. It was the first time she had ever felt something contrast so wonderfully; Makoto was hard and soft all at once and it staggered her senses. _

_The brunette kissed her then, lips and tongue demanding and full of need before clasping Ami's hands in her own, moving them away from her body. A small whimper escaped the doctor's lips at the loss of contact and when Makoto finally ended the kiss, Ami's _why? _was very apparent in her blue eyes. Makoto saw the unasked question even in the dark and answered accordingly._

"_I don't want it to be like this, here in the grass," Makoto whispered, her breath dancing upon Ami's lips as she spoke. _

_The sweetest feeling entered Ami's chest at the response; she closed her eyes and placed her head on Makoto's shoulder to prevent the woman from seeing her overflowing emotions. The brunette had always been very considerate towards the smaller woman, it was nothing new. What was new was the consideration of a lover. It struck her that never in a million years did she think she would be experiencing such a thoughtful gesture from Makoto. Tonight she had been more than willing to take what she could get, throwing all consequences aside for another day. _

_A small hope bloomed, one that deciphered Makoto's statement that this wasn't just a whim she had succumbed to at that very moment but something she had obviously put thought into. And Ami had fallen, harder than ever at that one whispered sentence. _

"Ami-san?"

"Huh?" She came awake, the closeness of Yuri's presence and voice startling her.

"Are you okay?" The younger woman displayed concern as she peered into Ami's face. "Your face is flushed, are you coming down with something?"

"I'm fine," Ami reassured with a smile. Giving a slight push with her foot, she rolled her chair back a few inches. The sudden proximity of Yuri had unnerved her. If there was anyone she wanted near at that moment it was Makoto.

Yuri sighed in relief, straightening her tall form. "Okay, well all blood work has been shipped off to the lab and there is one more patient arriving in ten minutes. After that we're done for the day."

"Great! Then I can steal you away for the rest of the weekend!" Makoto exclaimed to Ami as she came through the open door of the clinic. The brunette knew she was being petty by only addressing Ami but seeing Yuri bent so close to the other woman had riled her up. She suddenly felt the need to stake her claim to Ami in front of Yuri. Sending the medical assistant a none-too-friendly glance she strode around Ami's desk, positioning herself behind the seated doctor while placing a hand on the nape of Ami's neck. The fading flush on the smaller woman's face found new vigor when she felt Makoto's hand and fingers on the back of her neck playing with the baby hairs that grew there.

Yuri took in the averted gaze of the blushing doctor and the narrowed green eyes glaring at her. It was so very obvious something had changed between the two women and she quickly decided she no longer had any intentions of stepping into the middle. For a botanist, Makoto could be downright intimidating. Scary even.

"I'll, uh, go take care of those insurance forms now." An almost imperceptible nod was thrown Makoto's way in acknowledgment before she turned and walked back to her desk.

The brunette withdrew her hand, wheeling Ami's chair out another few inches before walking around to face the seated doctor. With Yuri out of earshot Makoto relaxed considerably, resting on the edge of Ami's desk. A glimmer of satisfaction coursed through her when Ami's eyes landed and stayed on her jeans-clad thighs as she crossed her ankles. A devious thought popped up in her mind and she smirked while speaking.

"Ami-up here," Makoto's right hand pointed up to her face.

The doctor looked up quickly, mortification apparent at being caught staring, tomato red blush deepening when she noticed the sly twist of Makoto's lips and the mischievous look in her viridian eyes. The tall woman had quite liked the bold Ami from the night before but shy Ami was also great fun.

Clearing her throat Ami attempted to steer the conversation to safer pastures, "What's this about the weekend?" She resumed writing her notes knowing Makoto would not feel offended. Besides she needed something else to distract her with the brunette so near. It was ironic; she received what she wished for a few minutes ago and now that Makoto was here she had no idea what to do, her thoughts a were whirling, conflicting mass. Last night, under the cover of darkness she could easily say what was on her mind. She had acted unlike herself, full of courage but now in the plain light of day that bravado fled leaving her in a wordless, fluttering state.

"Do you have anything else planned?" Makoto asked, refusing to fall for the bait. She wanted to surprise Ami but it would be no good if the smaller woman had other things to do. Her fingers tapped on the desk impatiently as she waited for Ami's reply.

"Not really, no," Ami answered, caught by the dazzling smile Makoto exhibited. The physical beauty of the woman was breathtaking, the light coming through the window behind Ami's desk casting highlights in sienna locks. The glow of happiness in Makoto's eyes clearly indicated Ami's answer pleased her, and the smaller woman wished to freeze this moment in time, to preserve it in her mind and heart forever. She would hold onto this very moment and the one by the lake, something to cherish when the inevitable heartbreak arrived.

Unaware of the heavy thoughts that flitted through Ami's mind, Makoto was buoyed at the idea of the plans she made for herself and Ami for the rest of the weekend. "Fantastic! We're going on an overnight stay to Otari Village."

"Otari Village?" Ami was very surprised indeed, a trip was the last thing she expected.

"Yep. We'll leave the moment you're done packing." Makoto leaned down to place a quick peck on Ami's cheek and then turned to leave, her long strides leading her out of the clinic and into the outdoors before Ami realized what had occurred.

* * *

_Thank you for reading!_

_Reader James Birdsong, thanks so much for your comment! :)_


	13. Unveiled

_Disclaimers: Makoto Kino and Ami Mizuno are characters belonging to Naoko Takeuchi. This is a yuri fic, which means it's all about women loving women. If that offends you please read something other than this._

_Huge thanks to my beta, ReaderMarz who knows when to ask all the right questions. ;) _

_And finally the rating changes from a T to an M. _

* * *

Chapter 13: Unveiled 

Otari Village was a small hot springs village nestled in a region of natural splendor in the Nagano prefecture. An ideal spot for tourists and locals interested in nature during the summer, it also boasted several ski resorts in winter. Despite living less than three hours away, Ami had never found the opportunity to visit the area before. Hana wore a wide smile when Ami informed the old woman she would be going away overnight with the brunette. She assumed Makoto, being a nature buff, had already visited at least once.

"Have you visited Otari Village before?" Ami asked curiously, in spite of her assumption. Her hands were safely positioned at ten and two on the steering wheel.

"Yes, a few times," Makoto confirmed from the passenger side of the mid-size car. She was turning the knob of the radio, hoping to find some suitable music-something that didn't annoy herself or Ami- while they drove along. She gave up in disgust after a minute and rested her hands on the headrest. Her seat was pushed all the way back to accommodate her long legs and Ami couldn't help but admire the brunette's toned thighs in tight jeans every so often. Now with Makoto's hands behind her head Ami had an excellent view of the woman's ample chest covered by a pink polo shirt. "I thought this might be a good way to kill two birds: I get to show you the flora in the area and you get to relax away from home."

"There was no need for you to do something like this," Ami said but she was pleased nevertheless and let it show as she flashed Makoto a smile before turning her attention back to the road. "Thank you, Makoto."

"You're welcome, and it was my pleasure," the brunette replied, deciding to trace invisible patterns on the back of Ami's hand as it rested on the steering wheel. The featherlight touch caused her skin to tingle pleasantly. Makoto continued to skate her fingers over the exposed skin of Ami's wrist and forearm and a pulsing started up elsewhere on the smaller woman's body. Ami blushed. Thanks to the simple touch she was reminded of how easily Makoto affected her.

Eyes straight ahead, Ami's fingers gripped the wheel. "I-If you're going to touch me like that, I don't think I'll be able to drive."

"I'll drive then," Makoto offered with a grin. "Maybe with my hands occupied I won't be so tempted."

A slight flush grew to fully cover her face and neck. Ami gulped. "Perhaps that would be best."

-x-x-x-

They arrived in Otari Village at exactly four in the afternoon, pulling into the graveled parking lot of a hot springs inn a few minutes later. Snow capped peaks glittered in the distance behind the traditional wooden structure. Ami gaped through the windshield at the pristine sprawling two-story building.

"It's lovely!"

Makoto was already swinging her legs out of the open driver-side door of the vehicle. "Yes, it's one of my favorite places to stay. Most of the other inns around here have hot springs as well but only indoors." She nodded towards the inn. "This one is outdoors and one of the better ryokans. Well, in my opinion anyway."

Grabbing her bag from the back seat she grinned at Ami teasingly, "Coming in with me or are you going to admire from afar?"

"Of course I'm going. I'm just recovering from someone's wandering hands, even though she promised not to be so touchy-feely." Ami blithely mentioned as she stepped out of the car with her overnight bag. Even after switching seats Makoto had found little ways to touch Ami during the drive, running her hand through Ami's hair, placing a calloused hand on the smaller woman's thigh once in a while. Despite her words to Makoto, Ami had truly enjoyed the attention from the brunette.

"Technically, I did not promise." Makoto's eyes crinkled as she smiled down at the smaller woman stepping around the car to join her. Taking Ami's hand in her own they started towards the entrance.

"Mere semantics," Ami muttered, distracted by the feel of Makoto's hand around hers. Walking in this manner beside the brunette made her feel cared for and protected. Their fingers folded together and she stepped even closer to Makoto. It finally occurred to her that it was just the two of them as she continued to peruse the surroundings. Butterflies danced in her belly at the realization.

Though it was summer the air felt nice and cool in the area at the base of the mountains. The afternoon sky overhead remained a crisp blue. Looking toward the building Ami noticed their pace was something more of a slow stroll, their arms occasionally brushing together. Her arm felt electrified every time Makoto's rubbed against hers. She realized Makoto had also shortened her strides to match her own. The friction of their arms had Ami wondering, _What would it feel like naked?_

With that thought bouncing around in her mind Ami desperately searched for something to distract her. "It's so picturesque here!"

"Yes!" Makoto agreed, "After we check in would you like to hit the hot springs or explore?" the brunette asked.

"There's still a decent amount of daylight left. Let's explore first, hot springs after," Ami decided.

Makoto gave her hand a light squeeze. "A woman after my own heart!" she sang out.

Ami laughed out loud. "Well, it helps that we've been friends for so long that I know your thought process."

"True," gesturing towards the wide doors of the inn Makoto asked, "shall we, milady?"

"Let's," Ami replied with a smile, quite enjoying this trip with Makoto already.

-x-x-x-

With her hand in Makoto's once more, Ami gasped at the sight before her. A vast field lay in front of them; yellow sedge lilies spread over the expanse much like a large golden blanket. Snow-sprinkled mountains combined with the cloudless sky provided a perfect backdrop for the nodding flowers. The tall woman had suggested Tsugaike National Park as their first stop and Ami immediately comprehended why the moment she set eyes on the beautiful scenery. Awed, Ami could barely speak and instead settled for communicating by giving Makoto's hand a squeeze.

"I take it you like it then?" Makoto asked. Her voice implied she wore a smile.

"Yes. It's beautiful here," Ami answered, her eyes sweeping over the view in front of her once more before glancing up to the brunette standing closely at her side. The smile was still seated on Makoto's lips, a warm light of happiness flickering in her green eyes.

"Thank you for showing me something wonderful." The doctor was already standing on tiptoes, her hands placed on Makoto's shoulders for balance before her mind had made itself up. She wanted to thank Makoto properly and felt a kiss would demonstrate some of the gratitude that came with the brunette's gift. Makoto reacted in an instant, her head tilting to meet Ami's upturned face. Their lips brushed together, her arms wrapping around the smaller woman and a sigh left Ami at the resulting rush of rightness. In a field of flowers and within Makoto's arms, Ami had never felt more at home.

-x-x-x-

After several hours of exploring the rest of the village followed by a satisfying dinner Makoto and Ami now sat in the outdoor hot spring immersed to the top of their chests. It was another clear, cool moonlit night, sprinkled with an abundance of stars. Makoto had never felt so at ease with anyone as she did with Ami at this moment. The entire afternoon had been wonderful, observing Ami's reactions and seeing everything differently, the way Ami was seeing it for the first time. Makoto had realized earlier that no matter where Ami went, her eyes were drawn to the smaller woman.

Like now, with Ami sitting a few feet from her, Makoto couldn't look away. Steam drifted off the surface of the water, seeming to create an intimate atmosphere just for the two of them. The doctor's head was thrown back as she stared at the stars above. The slim graceful column of her neck was exposed, beaded drops of water clinging to flawless skin. Makoto stared for a moment, her gaze flicking up to see an expression of contentment grace Ami's features while taking in the view overhead.

It occurred to Makoto then that she wanted to be the one to cause Ami to display such an expression. But not just contentment, she wanted to be the cause of Ami's laughter, of surprise, and of passion. She wanted to see Ami's passion, blue eyes stormy and full of excitement, climb to heights never achieved before. She drew closer to the smaller woman, only the splashing of water alerting Ami that Makoto had moved. Just a few inches apart, Makoto was unaware her eyes were filled with sudden confusion as she looked into Ami's still face.

"Ami...what's happening here?" The words drifted in the space between them. Makoto had no intention of asking that particular question but knew it was not something she could retract.

Obviously surprised, Ami took a moment to think of her reply, all the while doing her best to return Makoto's gaze. Her voice when she spoke was soft, but not effortless. "We are two adults simply-enjoying each other's company."

Makoto understood there was more to the answer than what Ami was giving but before she could follow the thought she felt two soft hands clasp one of her own. She looked down at their hands together then up at Ami again. The smaller woman took a deep breath, her chest rising as her lungs filled with air before exhaling slowly. Her face looked utterly serious, almost scared, Makoto realized. _What could possibly make Ami look so anxious?_

"Makoto," Ami whispered, and the tall woman nodded for the doctor to go on. The hands holding hers tightened. "Would you come to my room-please?"

Makoto nodded once more, knowing no answer existed but _yes_.

-x-x-x-

Long mahogany hair damp and loose of its usual strip of green ribbon, Makoto stood in front of Ami's door clad in an indigo _yukata_. Her fingers twitched and she wondered, _Am I doing_ _the right thing?_Makoto had never questioned herself when it came to other women she had slept with, she had easily gone with her instincts knowing she just wanted to feel good. Those women had no objections either, they gave and took as much as it pleased them, simply moving on after all was said and done.

_But this is Ami_, her mind disputed. _Ami your friend, _it went on. _Ami was the one who requested I go to her room_, she argued with herself.

"Besides...I want her, too, I can't seem to stop myself..." she whispered, raising her right hand to knock.

-x-x-x-

Ami was expecting the knock the moment she left the bath, but when it finally came she reacted with a jump. She glanced at the futon laid out neatly in the center of the room, its presence sending her heart crashing into her ribs. Taking a breath to calm herself she straightened her immaculate belted yukata before sliding the door open partway.

Makoto stood in the hallway, dressed identically and wearing a smile Ami had never seen on the brunette before. If she had to guess, Ami would have assumed it was a smile of nervousness.

"Hey," said Makoto, the crooked smile still on her face.

"Hi," Ami greeted, her voice low. She stepped aside to provide room for the other woman to pass. "Please come in."

"Thank you," Makoto said, falling back on politeness since she was at a loss for other words.

Ami closed the door and turned to look at Makoto, whose green gaze was on the futon. Ami flushed, her cheeks staining a brilliant red as she wondered exactly what Makoto was thinking. The brunette turned then and their eyes landed on each other, blue tangling with green.

"Looks comfortable!" The tall woman grinned toothily, the smile her own this time.

Ami coughed in surprise.

"Are you alright?" The brunette leaned close, concern evident in her features. Her right hand rose, gently grazing her fingers on Ami's cheek.

Ami's breath caught in her throat and it took a moment for her to recall how to breathe."Ah-yes," she nodded then gestured to the low table situated in a corner of the room. A _tokkuri_ was present with two cups on a small tray on the table surface. "I ordered some sake in case you wanted to have a drink." _God knows I do!_

Makoto nodded, and spinning swiftly on her heel she strode to the table and immediately poured two servings. Picking up the cups she walked back to Ami, giving one to the smaller woman before tossing back her own drink quickly. She placed the cup back on the table, running her palms down the sides of her yukata nervously. She took a deep breath and stared at Ami, a determined look in her eyes.

Perhaps it was the sake that instilled the determination she saw in Makoto's eyes, Ami needed to know if Makoto wanted to be here or not. Ami asked, "Are you okay? Makoto-if you don't feel comfo-"

"I want you, Ami," Makoto interrupted, coming to stand before the doctor again. Her voice was low, the tone heavy. "It scares me, but I want this. Please don't give me the option to leave now."

"Okay." With that one word she drank the sake she held quickly, her throat and eyes burning from the alcohol and emotion. Walking past the brunette she slowly moved towards the table, giving herself time to regain her composure. She bent gracefully, placing the cup next to the one Makoto used. When she turned around again Makoto stood by the futon, her arms hanging at her sides.

"Come here." Makoto said throatily.

Beneath her yukata Ami trembled from the gentle, husky tone of Makoto's voice to the emerald fire that seemed to build slowly in the brunette's eyes. For years Ami had waited for the tall woman to look at her the way she was now. Her eyes watered and her vision blurred just as she made it to the circle of Makoto's arms. She let the brunette hold her for a moment, knowing Makoto could probably feel the faint tremors. She could feel the coiled tension within the tall woman and was momentarily awed that she could inspire such a state.

When Ami finally peeked up she noticed the look of tenderness Makoto directed at her. Stretching up to meet the brunette's lips, she clutched at the yukata covering the strong form that held her. Lips parted, she detected the lingering taste of sake and then a honeyed taste that only belonged to Makoto.

The kisses exchanged were slow and sweet, their breaths mingling together. Ami lost the ability to speak when Makoto laid her gently upon the futon and untied the belt to her yukata. Fingers traced patterns on her skin, wonderment apparent in their gentle caresses. Ami found herself lightheaded from holding her breath so often. When Makoto finally shed her own yukata and lay next to Ami, the doctor could no longer hold back the tears of relief she held at bay.

At the sight of the salty trails Makoto stilled her caresses, and asked gently what was wrong. Ami shook her head vehemently, taking the woman's face within her hands and pulling her down for a kiss. She gasped in amazement and pleasure as Makoto kissed her skin everywhere and tenderly stroked her breasts. The brunette took her time, holding Ami's hands away whenever the smaller woman tried to return the favor.

When Makoto settled between her thighs and tasted her, Ami's whole body shook, her back arching off the futon, her toes digging into the sheets. Pushed over the edge and beyond she came hard, riding the waves of pleasure, her tears flowing freely, unaware as she climaxed she called out her love for Makoto.

* * *

_Index:  
_

_Ryokan - a traditional Japanese inn.  
_

_Yukata - a casual kimono._

_Tokkuri - a flask used to serve sake. _

* * *

Otari Village_ does exist in Nagano, so does _Tsugaike National Park_. The inn Ami and Makoto stayed at however is fictional...if you happen to watch_ Hanasaku Iroha_ then imagine it as a two-story Kissuiso. ;)  
_

_Thank you all for reading and feedback is always welcome and appreciated! _


	14. Of Love and Denial

_Disclaimers: Sailor Moon and its characters belong to Naoko Takeuchi, I just happen to be playing a game of what-if and dress-up with Makoto and Ami. ;) If yuri is not your cup of jasmine scented tea then I have absolutely no idea why you're reading this._

_Thank you, ReaderMarz for betaing and suggestions. :) _

* * *

Chapter Fourteen: Of Love and Denial

Makoto stared up at the ceiling, wide awake. All the lights extinguished, it was dark in the room but she had quickly grown accustomed. Ami slumbered next to her, the smaller woman cuddled up to the brunette's side, one hand under her cheek while the other rested on Makoto's bare belly. Ami looked so peaceful in her sleep; a strange painful pang struck Makoto. For the tall woman sleeping next to Ami might have been a pleasant experience except for the thought weighing heavily on her mind. It refused to let her sleep as it floated to and fro in her head. It downright _frightened_ her.

_Ami loves me._

She tried to rationalize what kind of love Ami meant, the same argument chasing itself around in her mind. _No, maybe she meant love like a friend? That has to be it_, she concluded until the next line followed, like it did many times before. _Don't be a fool!_ _You think she slept with you because she was bored? Friends don't sleep with each other. _

She rubbed her forehead in frustration. Just what had she set in motion with that kiss? Thoughts flew at her, riotous, out of order. _How long has Ami been in love with me? It can't have been that long, she never gave an indication. You let your lust cloud your judgment; things will never be the same. I'll never be able to look at her the same. Thirteen years of friendship ruined. Oh god, this is so wrong, I can't do this. _

But she knew that last thought was a lie. _I still want her. For once, being with someone has never felt so good. _

If there was ever a time Makoto wanted to do something cowardly this would be it. She wanted to pack her things and leave, to simply disappear from Ami's life while she tried to figure this problem out. But something held her back, the part of her that refused to let her be unkind to the woman she first called her friend and now her lover. But were they really lovers? Could she even be with Ami knowing her intentions were not the same as the doctor's?

Just then Ami shifted, their bare legs brushing together under the covers. A small murmur escaped her lips, "Mako..." before she settled back into her dreams.

Demeanor calm but her heart racing, Makoto was on the verge of panic. She lay still until Ami's breathing returned to normal. The part of her that resisted running understood why she had not left already. She had hurt Ami by just leaving three months ago. If she left now it would devastate the smaller woman and that was something she did not have the heart to do. She might not return Ami's feelings but she cared enough to not want to cause her pain. It was the same emotion that made Makoto automatically gather a weeping post-climax Ami in her arms and whisper soothing sounds until the smaller woman had fallen asleep.

Turning on her side to face the sleeping woman, she pulled Ami into her arms, tucking the woman's head into the crook of her neck. Ami shifted once more, slipping one of her legs in between Makoto's and the brunette was reminded of her own arousal that was forgotten the moment Ami unknowingly spilled her revelation. All thoughts had fled except the conflicting feelings of pulling away in shock and the urge to comfort Ami. Even now her body instinctively drew the woman closer while the voice in her head screamed for her to run.

-x-x-x-

Makoto woke to the sensation of tremulous fingers on her lips. Eyelids halfway open she could tell from the amount of light in the room the sun was already up for a few hours. Ami's face hovered above her own, blue eyes wide, guilty. _She looks exactly like a child caught with her hand in the cookie jar... _Makoto almost smiled at the thought. Instead she whispered, "Good morning."

"Good morning," Ami responded with a shy smile, her face still above Makoto's.

"Did you sleep well?" the brunette asked. Her voice was low, sleepily husky.

"Yes, thank you." The shy smile returned to her face along with a hint of pink. Hesitation colored the next words. "May I...kiss you?"

"Now?" Makoto's eyebrows rose.

"Yes. Is that not okay?" Ami asked, her face utterly serious.

"It's okay," the brunette answered, blinking. Ami seemed to glow then, her smile bright and Makoto thought, _No, she's been radiant from the moment I opened my eyes._

Whatever thought might have followed was soon forgotten when Ami kissed her. It was so gentle Makoto likened the feeling to the fluttering of butterfly wings. She suddenly wanted more and her fingers brushed through Ami's blue locks, silently urging the woman to deepen the kiss and the smaller woman obliged. Ami's fingers were sure as they caressed the sides of Makoto's face, trailed down her neck and gripped her shoulders. What had been a tentative kiss quickly became passionate, tongues dueling fiercely for dominance.

When they parted for breath Makoto could only moan one word, "Ami..."

Something in the doctor's face had changed. She seemed so assertive, sure of herself. Makoto saw desire in the woman's eyes and it made her heartbeat triple. Confident Ami excited her, aroused her, made the blood in her veins rush as ardor spread throughout her body. She was burning for Ami.

Makoto's hands drifted from Ami's hair down to her back, gliding over smooth, creamy skin. The grazing of strong fingers along her back elicited a husky moan from Ami, the sound so sensual it went straight to Makoto's lower regions. The smaller woman nipped Makoto's right shoulder, and the feeling of teeth and tongue against her bronze skin made her gasp.

Words and thoughts were left behind; instinct took over. Delicate hands roamed the map of Makoto's body, exploring each dip and curve of her spectacular soft and toned physique. It was hard to tell who cried out breathlessly more often, Makoto for all the caresses bestowed upon her or Ami as every part of the brunette's body was revealed to her. Only one thought entered Makoto's mind as Ami pushed her towards ecstasy.

_It was never like this with anyone else._

-x-x-x-

The intention to enjoy a leisurely breakfast was derailed the moment Ami kissed Makoto. It was too late for breakfast, the cooks had already started preparing lunch, the flustered looking _nakai_ assigned to Ami's room explained much later, refusing to look either Ami or Makoto in the eye. Ami, with a pink face, suspected the woman might have heard not-so-mysterious noises from her room. Since breakfast was now out of the question they decided to take one last dip in the hot spring before checking out. She decided to broach the subject with Makoto as they changed out of their yukatas.

"Makoto," her voice low while she wrapped the white towel provided for guests around her torso, "do you think she heard us this morning?" She glanced over to Makoto to view the brunette's reaction.

"Probably," the tall woman replied with a grin, tucking the edge of her towel into the wrapped part to prevent the thick cloth from falling off her frame. "I'm sure she's heard a lot more provocative things. I'm going ahead." She turned from Ami then, her back to the smaller woman as she stepped outdoors.

_Something is off. _Ami thought to herself as she gazed after Makoto's departing back. _She appears rather tense._ Although the brunette had smiled, the doctor recognized it was not bright or natural, the smile seemed strained. _She has been that way all morning. And she hasn't touched me once since we got out of bed. Does she regret this?_Despair filled Ami at the last thought. She had assumed the woman would slip back to her charming, easy-going self once this dreamlike interlude of theirs was over. What she had not expected was a contemplative, preoccupied mood.

_Did I say or do something she did not like? Should I wait for her to mention it? Perhaps she'll speak of whatever it is on her own__. _

Deciding she would wait and see, Ami followed the tall woman outdoors. Makoto was already immersed in the spring, her back braced against one of the large rocks that formed the pool. Lids closed over verdant eyes, a look of worry flashing across her face as if a particularly disturbing thought had taken root. Ami stepped into the spring just as Makoto opened her eyes. Upon spotting the doctor, the brunette gave a breezy grin. It was the grin that gave it away. For Makoto to look so concerned when she thought she was not being observed coupled with the little grin she threw in Ami's direction, the smaller woman knew whatever was troubling the brunette, the woman did not wish to share. Feeling somewhat hurt she nevertheless waded over to the brunette and sat down, ensuring she did not sit too closely. The last thing she wanted was for Makoto to feel she was being clingy.

They soaked in silence for a few minutes until Ami could not stand it any longer. She blurted the first thing that came to mind: the only issue that was on her mind. "Makoto, is everything alright?"

"Hmm? Why as a matter of fact, I am a little sore." At the word sore, Makoto gave her a wink and a deep red flooded Ami's face; even her ears felt hot.

Ami mentally slapped herself. _I just had sex with the woman, twice! And she still makes me feel like a virgin! _A sigh of exasperation escaped her lips and Makoto looked at her in amusement.

"I couldn't resist, knowing I'd see such a cute little blush," Makoto confided teasingly.

The doctor opened her mouth to reply when a furious gurgle emerged from her mid-section. At the sound a small smirk grew on the brunette's lips but before Ami could speak Makoto stood up. Offering her hand to Ami she casually remarked, "We should find a cafe or restaurant for lunch. It's going to be a long drive back to Yukikura."

* * *

_Nakai - a woman who serves at an inn or restaurant.  
_

_Short chapter once again but I hope you enjoyed it._


	15. Painful Reminders

_Disclaimer: Sailor Moon and its characters do not belong to me, nor will they ever._

_Beta-ed by ReaderMarz, so if you happen to catch any mistakes while reading I take full responsibility for those._

* * *

Chapter Fifteen: Painful Reminders

Makoto was glad the day remained beautiful and clear when she stepped out of the ryokan with Ami in tow. She volunteered to drive and they easily found a family restaurant thanks to Ami's recollection of passing one on the way into the village. Ten minutes later they were in a small parking lot filled with cars and the few odd trucks and motorcycles. Within moments they were seated and served beverages by a cheerful middle-aged waitress. Menus were whisked away as they quickly settled on what they wanted to eat: Ami picked a simple salad topped with avocado and pears, and as the restaurant offered an all-day breakfast menu Makoto chose a platter of scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast.

With the waitress out of hearing distance Makoto frowned at Ami. "That can't be all you're eating."

"Why not? It's healthy and delicious."

"It's rabbit food," Makoto growled good-naturedly and Ami laughed.

The doctor's laughter was infectious but movement behind Ami caught Makoto's attention and she glanced beyond the woman's shoulder. Ami's back was to the door and Makoto sat facing her, which provided an excellent view of the entrance. A family of three had just entered, the man leading the way with a grim look on his face while his harried-looking wife trailed after him. A little dark-haired girl all of five years old held onto the woman's hand.

"Mommy, can I have pancakes?" Makoto heard the girl ask, her expression hopeful as they were led to a table.

The mother's response was a hushed one, glancing at her husband's back before answering the little girl. Unconsciously, Makoto's lips tightened, the mirth previously shared with Ami rapidly disappearing.

"_Mommy, can I have some juice?" _

_It had been a productive day of climbing jungle gyms and playing hide and seek with Haruka but now she was thirsty. Makoto ran into the house, her flip-flops flying off her feet as she headed for the kitchen. She could tell her mother had done the laundry, the fresh crisp scent of detergent hung in the air. Her mother, a leggy brunette with dark eyes and darker circles under them glanced worriedly towards the hallway._

_With that look, Makoto knew her father was home. Her mother seemed to always wear that look whenever her father was around. Crouching before Makoto, the woman grasped her daughter's skinny arms lightly. __Looking into her mother's pretty face, Makoto thought __she looked very tired. Her mother's tone was low when she spoke. _

"_Mako-chan, daddy is home with a headache so don't make too much noise, okay?" _

"Makoto?" The soft query of her name reminded Makoto she was in the middle of a restaurant with Ami. She tried to smile but it was more of a grimace.

"What's wrong, Makoto?" Blue eyes stared at her, filled with concern and worry. She felt a gentle touch on her left hand which rested palm down on the table between them. Looking down she could see the pale creaminess of Ami's hand highlighted against her own tanned skin. Raising her eyes to meet Ami's, she tried to brush off the tightness that had appeared in her chest the moment the family walked through the door.

"I'm fine. I just remembered something unpleasant but I'm okay now." Unconvinced eyes with a shade of hurt shining through revealed Ami did not believe a word Makoto uttered. Guilt spiked in her chest when the smaller woman removed her hand from atop hers, the caring gaze dropping to the table surface to hide whatever emotion Ami now experienced.

"Okay."

Makoto remained silent, words failing her. The cheerful facade she had kept in place all morning felt like it could no longer be summoned, nor did she wish to bother. From the moment she awoke she had been able to deal with the doubts and the morning with Ami had remained pleasant in spite of them. However the uncertainties that haunted her had come face to face with the physical reminder of what it meant to have an emotional attachment. The family of three positively resembled her own. Makoto had seen on that woman's face she was clearly suffering from a relationship gone-or going bad. But ultimately the one Makoto felt sorry for was the little girl because in the end it was the child that always suffered from such dysfunction.

It never ended well; her mother had proved it every day until Makoto left for college. She had said goodbye to an empty shell of a woman who waved back at her in a lackluster manner as she walked out the door. Perhaps this situation did not happen to everyone but for Makoto this was why she chose to avoid relationships. It was a painful reminder of the damaged home she had come from. From the day her father had left she had practically raised herself. Her mother now a childish stranger, Makoto had to slip into the role of the adult. She didn't need love, would never need it. Love complicated everything, love had left her feeling like an orphan all her life and if it hadn't been for Haruka's help and guidance while growing up who knew where she would have ended up. This was exactly why she did not want to try with Ami or anyone else for that matter. She could already tell whatever feelings existed for the doctor were a hindrance to the simple life she tried so hard to attain.

_What will happen if I fall in love and then lost Ami? _For Makoto the answer was simple, shewould become a fractured mess. Exactly like her mother_. No, it would be best to cease everything here. _

Their meals arrived and they ate quietly, neither making an effort to carry a conversation. They picked at their plates, whatever appetite they entered with now a thing of the past. _These eggs taste like cardboard_, Makoto thought to herself as she brought her fork to her lips. A sourness lingered in her belly. Glancing at Ami through her bangs, she noticed the other woman chewed whatever little bit she was eating in a mechanical fashion. This went on for fifteen minutes until Makoto pushed her plate aside, tired of pretending she was even eating.

Ami looked at her then and Makoto asked, "Ready to go?"

"Yes," the woman answered and Makoto raised her hand for the check. Ami's next words were surprisingly clipped and cool. "I would like to drive this time, if you don't mind?"

Makoto nodded dumbly and dug into her jeans for the car keys and Ami took care not let their fingers touch when she grabbed the key ring. Placing a few bills onto the table, Ami stood immediately before she turned and walked towards the door. Her gait was stiff, her shoulders squared.

_She's angry_, the brunette thought with a rueful look at Ami's receding figure. _I suppose I really can't blame her, can I?_

-x-x-x-

_Don't cry_, Ami told herself as the tears threatened to spill. _Don't you dare cry here!_She stood with her back to the door of the restaurant, the sun shining down on her; she never felt more out of place. A short stair consisting of three steps were before her and she stepped down them quickly, her entire body feeling numb as she walked towards the car.

Makoto sat there and lied, _lied_ to her outright when asked if okay. The omissions had been one thing. Ami had been willing to forgive those because she had omitted her own feelings on occasion. But to sit there and blatantly lie to her face? She did not quite understand exactly why it hurt her so but it was more than obvious that despite this weekend, the brunette thought nothing of her. Makoto did not seem to trust her enough to explain what the problem was. It was cruel. And it wounded so much more than all the other times Ami had felt hurt. Those times were nothing compared to this. Her eyes watered and she fumbled for the door handle when she reached the car.

_Stupid, I am so stupid for thinking anything would ever change._

Anger reared inside her. Mostly at herself. Even though she knew Makoto had not wanted any emotional attachments she had secretly hoped that things would change. And things had changed, only not for the better. This little incident only proved exactly where their feelings lay: Makoto's in a direction opposite of hers. Finally the door opened and she dropped into the driver's seat. In the rearview mirror she noticed Makoto stepping out of the restaurant, face inscrutable.

She swiped crossly at the tears that had fallen despite her best efforts not to cry. She did not want Makoto to see her crying. At this moment she did not want Makoto to see her at all. She felt raw, felt like an open wound scrubbed and left exposed in the air. The brunette opened the passenger door just as Ami finished adjusting the seat. Wordlessly Makoto sat down, staring straight ahead, and Ami did the same as she started the car.

It really was going to be a long drive back to Yukikura.

* * *

I do hope this chapter made sense. I welcome any feedback you may have. Thank you!


	16. A Mission of Love

The usual disclaimers apply: Ami and Makoto belong to Naoko Takeuchi. The lyrics used in this chapter belong to Sarah Mclachlan. This story is yuri. If women loving women isn't your thing then kindly take yourself elsewhere.

Thank you, beta-chan, ReaderMarz! ;)

A/N: We're drawing to the conclusion of this story soon. I don't see many more chapters ahead and I doubt there will be more than twenty or twenty-one chapters. Unless my whim dictates otherwise. We'll see. ;)

* * *

Chapter Sixteen: A Mission of Love

Ami sighed, staring down at the book in her hands without seeing the words. It had been three weeks since she returned from Otari Village with Makoto. Sitting in the living room, she attempted to read the novel she started a week ago. _I wonder what Makoto is doing now? Is she sleeping well? Probably. I'm the only one who had her heart broken for the millionth time. _An exhausted feeling swept through her and she sighed again; she had not slept well at all upon returning home. Each night had passed with very few hours of fitful sleep.

Her days at work were not any better; she barely made it through the hours and avoided all efforts made by Yuri to talk outside of work. She was well aware of the concerned looks the young woman kept shooting her way. She did not think she could go through a conversation about her listless manner or an absent Makoto, no matter how well-intentioned Yuri wanted to be.

_I did say we were two adults simply enjoying each other's company. Stupid of me really-it was not that simple after all. _

She stood up to put away the book and her elbow jammed a few CDs she left on the lower shelf to be organized. One case clattered to the floor and she hoped it wasn't broken. Bending to pick it up, she noticed it was an album she had not listened to for a long time. It was an old album, one she really loved. On the cover the artist sat backwards in a chair, her eyes closed, a dreamy look on her face. Ami had first discovered the Canadian artist when one of her songs played during a movie she watched while in her last year of living in Tokyo.

The woman's voice had resonated within her, and Ami wanted more. She sat through the credits of the movie hoping to catch the name and the moment she had a day off she went to the nearest music store in hopes of finding something, anything by the artist. Luck was with her and she found two albums. She knew her faith in this new artist had been well placed the moment she went home and played both back to back. This woman knew all about love and heartbreak and each beautifully crooned word made Ami think of Makoto.

_It has been so long._ On a whim she turned towards her CD player, placed the disk gently on the tray and hit the play button. The first track of _Surfacing_began, the lush, rich tones of Sarah Mclachlan's voice slinking forth from the speakers to fill the room.

A bittersweet smile graced her face as she sat on the floor, arms around folded knees and listened but it wasn't until the middle of the fifth track did she start to cry. The words struck a chord within her but never as deep and sharp as they did now.

"_A glowing ember_  
_Burning hot_  
_Burning slow_  
_Deep within I'm shaken by the violence_  
_Of existing for only you_

_I know I can't be with you_  
_I do what I have to do_  
_I know I can't be with you_  
_I do what I have to do_

_And I have sense to recognize but_  
_I don't know how to let you go"_

The words sung echoed in her heart, they were the truth she had admitted to herself time and time again. Thirteen years of being in love with Makoto had proven she had no idea how to fall out of love with the woman. But it was time she tried.

_They had been driving for thirty minutes without a word. After the first five, Ami turned the radio on unable to deal with the tense silence. She did not care what was playing on the radio as long as it filled the awkward void in her suddenly too small car. She kept her eyes on the road, the music no more than a hum compared to the whiplash speed of her thoughts. Her attempts to pretend Makoto was not in the vehicle with her were verging on pointless. The brunette had a presence the doctor could not simply ignore no matter how much she tried. _

_For those thirty minutes Makoto had simply looked out the window, her face unreadable. The brunette's chin was propped up in her arm which rested on the door of the vehicle. In Ami's periphery she observed when the woman sat up straighter, her hands coming together to rest on her lap for a few minutes. When she had turned the radio off then Ami turned to look at her. _

"_Ami," the usual huskiness was deeper, "I'm very sorry for my behavior. I think I need to explain something." _

_Ami had not trusted herself to speak and so she simply nodded, hoping that would suffice. _

"_First-I really enjoyed spending time with you," Makoto paused, brushing her hair back. It seemed to Ami as if the woman was carefully considering her next words. _

_If Makoto had spoken that line earlier that morning or even yesterday Ami would have been thrilled. As it were now, she merely waited for the 'but' that hung in the air and really, truly was not surprised when it came._

"_A family came into the restaurant earlier. You didn't see them because your back was to the door but to me-" Here Makoto stopped as if she found it necessary to steel herself before speaking again. "-it was like looking straight into my past." Her eyes were plaintive, Ami saw, begging for the doctor to understand and Ami could but she also wanted to explain to Makoto that a painful past did not necessarily mean a painful future._

"_Your family-" the smaller woman began hesitantly, only to be interrupted._

"_I can't do this, Ami...it was fun while it lasted but I think we should stop." _

_They were passing through a desolate patch of land and Ami thought rather negatively, 'Just like my life'. Shaking her head, o__ne other thought occurred to Ami then and she asked it before she lost her nerve. "Do you regret it, Makoto? Did you regret being with me?" To her credit, her voice came out stronger than she anticipated._

_Taking her eyes off the road, Ami glanced at the brunette only to see Makoto's lips tighten. Her features were stony and Ami could suddenly see the wall Usagi had mentioned all those years ago. Ami felt something tear inside at the idea of Makoto erecting a barrier to keep her out. Did the brunette really think it was necessary to take that step? _

_Did Makoto even consider them friends at this point? _

_To keep herself from breaking down Ami said softly, "You did not really explain anything. We're not children, you and I. I'll listen to whatever it is you have to say." Silence greeted her words and Ami assumed Makoto had no intention of speaking when the woman began to talk. _

"_I've told you about my father leaving and how my mother fell apart. All my life I've tried my best not to do the same thing my mother did. I've seen how love is messy, and gets easily out of hand. And I've struggled my damnedest to avoid the kind of life that will make me hurt. I can't do it."_

_In Ami's current state of mind, the words twisted, morphed into something else and all she heard was, 'I can't be with you.' Her eyes watered and she blinked furiously to clear them away. She felt a headache pounding in her head and did her best to focus on driving. She did not want to think of anything else._

_Silence overtook the shared space of the car for the rest of the way. When they arrived in Yukikura, Makoto immediately packed up her remaining things. Ami noticed the brunette took care not to touch her at any point. She was already craving Makoto's caresses. All she wanted was for the woman to take her in her arms again but the only thing Makoto offered was a few words that left her colder than ever. _

"_I'm not sure when I'll be back again. I'm sorry__." _

"Now you're just wallowing." Hana stood in the doorway, her salt and pepper eyebrows arched sternly although her eyes were kind.

Ami smiled bitterly. The older woman was right, of course. She wiped the tears away as Hana stepped into the room; walking over to where Ami sat the old woman joined her on the floor. The week after Makoto departed, Ami had spilled the entire story, omitting certain parts of course, to her grandmother who offered comfort by listening attentively.

Mulling it over now, Hana decided it was time she offered her opinion on the whole matter. "Why was Makoto so adamant about not wanting a relationship? Especially if she did not feel a thing for you?"

Ami's eyes widened at the question. "What do you mean, grandma Hana?"

"Makoto would not run if there were no feelings involved, child."

"No. No, that couldn't be true." But once pointed out, Ami could see the logic in the sentence. A small hope bloomed within her as reasoning unfolded itself. _Did that mean by Makoto's own actions the brunette had inadvertently shown her true feelings?_ Amazement grew on Ami's face as she considered the idea. She glanced at Hana who stared back at her with a small smile. She opened her mouth to deny the possibility again, disbelief rudely shoving aside the idea that Makoto would even have feelings for her. For years she had wanted the woman to return her feelings to no avail. Why would that change now?

Hana's next words surprised her. "You should go to her. After all, you have something to say too, don't you? I think it's time you took a trip to Tokyo."

-x-x-x-

"She did what!" Usagi screeched, jumping up from the couch. "I'm going to kill that woman!"

"Usagi!" Ami gasped in alarm at the blonde's words.

Mamoru entered the living room looking more than a little exasperated. "Usako! Chibi-usa is finally asleep. Please keep it down."

Usagi, looking properly chastised, stepped towards her husband and stood on her tiptoes to place a kiss on his cheek. "Sorry, Mamo-chan."

Mamoru gave a long-suffering sigh but when he smiled down at his wife Ami could see he was still as smitten with Usagi as the day he met her. Indeed she was quite happy to see these two remained blissfully in love. If anything, the arrival of their daughter had cemented an already solid and lasting relationship.

"Anyway darling, Ami and I are going out to see a certain someone," she hugged him, and he returned the affectionate gesture.

Peering at Ami over Usagi's head he smiled kindly. "Makoto?" he asked and Usagi confirmed with an 'mmhmm' into his chest.

"Don't wait up, it might get ugly," Usagi said, and Mamoru rolled his eyes at the thought of his five-foot two-inches wife facing a five-foot eight-inch Makoto with murderous intent.

"Yes dear." He kissed her hair and released her. "Please be careful. You too, Ami."

Ami almost teared up at the scene and turned away instead to examine the living room. Usagi loved photographs and everywhere Ami looked she could see proof of the happy family living in this house. Mamoru and Usagi had gotten married immediately after graduating university. For the first three years they lived in a small apartment together until they both decided they wanted a house. Usagi had been thrilled with the lovely western-styled home Mamoru happened upon while visiting a friend in Azabu Juban.

Ami had visited the house a total of two times but found her way there easily when she stepped off the train and lost whatever nerve she mustered in order to see Makoto. One name popped into her head, and the blonde had answered immediately when Ami dialed her number.

Upon learning Ami was in Tokyo, Usagi's only words were, "You're coming over for dinner. I'm not taking no for an answer."

Now Ami sat five feet away from the couple, dinner an hour behind them. She had promised Usagi she would explain her impromptu trip after dinner not wanting to mention any unhappiness. Dinner with her friends and their precocious daughter had been a lively affair which Ami thoroughly enjoyed but after relaying her tale to Usagi she found the dread at the thought of seeing Makoto again creeping back in. She followed the blonde to the hallway.

"Usagi," Ami began, "perhaps now is not the best time to go see Mako-"

"Nonsense!" Usagi exclaimed as she picked up her car keys. "Now would be the best time, she'll be at home and not expecting company at this hour."

"But-"

"But nothing!" Usagi spun around and grabbed Ami by the biceps. "This is the woman you love. Your grandmother is right. It's time you told Mako how you really feel. I know she's an idiot but she'll come around." She released Ami's arms then opened the door.

"Let's go. This is a mission for love!"

Ami sighed in resignation as she followed the blonde woman out the door. But a small smile grew on her face; this was the same Usagi she had known in university. It was gratifying to know the blonde would always remain the same.

* * *

Thank you for reading! Feedback is always welcome! :)


	17. Shoulders to Lean and Laugh on

_Disclaimers: All Sailor Moon characters belong to Naoko Takeuchi. This story is yuri-meaning it smacks of lesbianism and may not be to everyone's tastes. Kindly move on if it does not suit yours. Thank you. _

_A/N: Many apologies to all you dear readers waiting so long for updates. Real life has a nasty way of interrupting a good time sometimes. But I'm wading my way back in. Chapter 18 is already completed so you won't have to wait an excessively long time for another update. _

_Beta'ed by ReaderMarz. Beta-chan had to break out her red pen for this chapter, especially because it was difficult for me to find my way back into Ami's head after so long. I hope Marz has red ink left! If you find mistakes those are purely on my part._

_p.s. If you haven't already, please check out ReaderMarz's profile. She has a few awesome stories of her own that's definitely worth reading.  
_

* * *

Chapter Seventeen: Shoulders to Lean and Laugh on 

The building in which Makoto resided was indeed as beautiful as Usagi claimed while driving over. Ami stood at the base of the structure counting the twenty-plus floors before her eyes were drawn to the subtly twinkling lights at the very top. The sleek lines combined with floor-to-ceiling glass walls and landscaped surroundings were all very nice; but something about the entire picture disturbed Ami. What it was struck her immediately as she followed Usagi into the lobby, which was pretty, stylish, tasteful-and sterile. It did not suit Makoto at all. Ami could not picture the brunette being at home in such an obviously manufactured environment.

She took a deep breath in an attempt to calm her nerves which had gone haywire when she stepped out of Usagi's car._ Makoto is up there somewhere. _

The thought made her heart thump wildly as she trailed after Usagi. Thick carpet muffled their footsteps from the lobby into the soft recessed lighting of the elevator. Ami caught sight of herself in the mirrored walls of the compartment and anxiously brushed her bangs back from her forehead. Her face appeared pale except for two high spots of color in her cheeks.

"Ami..." Usagi's reflection peered over her shoulder and Ami met her friend's inquisitive look.

"Nervous?" Usagi asked. A small encouraging smile lit up her ultramarine eyes while she waited for Ami's answer.

"It's strange," Ami glanced up at the lights and mirror and steel walls of the elevator as it gently rose to the twenty-second floor. "I find it odd that Makoto would live in a place like this. It does not seem..."

"-to suit her?" Usagi completed with a wide smile and a knowing look when Ami nodded. "You really know that idiot well." The words were spoken softly and without reproach. "She doesn't like it either. I suppose that's why she doesn't mind not being home a lot, with her field work taking her various places constantly."

"I see," Ami said softly, still not quite comprehending why Makoto would choose to return to a place that did not match her personality or seem like home at all. Perhaps it was wishful thinking on her part, but to Ami, Makoto belonged in a place like Yukikura, with the outdoors just a step away. _No, I really am just being selfish by assuming I know what she wants or_ _needs. How could I possibly know?_

Usagi continued, "I asked her why once, and she just shrugged, saying one place was as good as the other, in a city like this."

A soft whoosh of the doors and a quiet ding indicated their arrival at the intended floor.

They turned away from the mirror and exited the lift, Ami paused after stepping out onto the gleaming floor of the hallway. She acknowledged the fact she was dragging her heels but could not stop it from happening. Whatever little conviction she had remaining on the drive over dissipated the moment she stepped into the elevator; If Usagi had not been with her she would have turned tail and fled. Ami was used to second guessing herself when it came to Makoto but this time with Usagi confidently leading the way she could not do much but follow. Even so, she found herself trying to appeal to the blonde at the last minute under the pretense of courtesy.

"Wait Usagi, we should have at least called -"

"It's too late Ami, we're already here." The blonde pressed the doorbell under the nameplate bearing their friend's name. Makoto's door was the first to the right of the elevator. Ami held her breath, unconscious she was doing so. There was no answer and a small hope that Makoto was not at home grew. She was here in Tokyo, right in front of Makoto's door and she did not feel ready at all to face the botanist. The quiet of the hallway magnified her feeling of dread while standing outside the door. Once again she was reminded of the fact when it came to Makoto all her faculties shut down and left her feeling like an overgrown child. An interminable amount of time seemed to have passed in the still hallway but only half a minute had gone by. Usagi pressed the button again albeit a tad impatiently this time.

A whoosh of the elevator doors along with the clicking of heels on the floor made both Ami and Usagi turn to the new arrival, with the hope it might be Makoto coming home. Contrarily, relief and disappointment registered in Ami the moment she saw it was a pretty made-up young woman with black hair and blue eyes. Deep down, she knew it couldn't have been Makoto, she knew the sound of the tall woman's footsteps. It was that very feeling that made her realize she desperately wanted to see the brunette again despite the apprehension of having 'that talk' with Makoto.

The woman passed by them, stopping at the door further up from Makoto's, keys in her hand. She turned to them then, her voice girly and timid and Ami could see she was a girl no more than seventeen under the skillfully applied makeup. "A-are you looking for Kino-san?"

Usagi smiled brightly at Makoto's neighbor in reply. "Yes. We're friends. We were in the neighborhood and thought we'd stop by and surprise her!"

Ami could tell immediately from the young woman's relaxing posture and returning half smile; Usagi's friendly gesture had disarmed her. Ami smiled and nodded at the girl as well, although not as naturally as Usagi. A small wave of curiosity washed over her. _What is Makoto like when she interacts with the other neighbors and residents? _This little visit had proven to Ami she did not know enough about Makoto, not near enough.

"Oh! I'm sorry," the girl straightened up from her slight slouch in front of her door, "she left yesterday. I think it was work."

Ami caught the flash of dismay on Usagi's face. It echoed the larger one inside Ami. "Did she say where?"

The girl shook her head, her left hand resting on handle of the open door and Ami could see she was not going to stick around for much longer. "Unfortunately, no. Just mentioned another trip and asked if I could take care of her plants again."

"I see." Ami said quietly, before Usagi said anymore, "thank you very much. I hope we did not take up too much of your time."

"Yes, thank you!" Usagi added hastily with a smile before casting a worried glance at the doctor.

The door thudded closed behind the girl, the previous lull returned full force. Ami faintly heard the sound of the elevator as it traveled between floors and imagined she could feel the finest vibrations it caused under her feet. She looked down at the shining floor which showed a faint reflection of their forms and held back the sigh that threatened to explode. Had she really expected anything different despite the hope that grew in her earlier? _I really am a masochist. Coming here had not changed anything, it merely served as an exercise in torture._

"Ami..." she had almost forgotten Usagi was nearby, until she heard her name and felt her friend's hand on her shoulder.

"Let's go...please," her voice was a near-whisper and the blonde nodded and gently pressed the button to call the elevator.

-x-x-x-

Unlike the drive over with Usagi chattering freely, the drive back was silent. Every so often the blonde woman glanced over at her reticent friend staring out the passenger side window. They pulled up to a stop light and the next time she looked over she was surprised to find Ami's eyes meeting her own.

"Thank you for taking me," Ami's tone was grateful despite the sheen of disappointment in her eyes.

Usagi waved the gratitude away, "It's no big deal." She sighed, "I'm just sorry she wasn't home." Rubbing the back of her neck, a sheepish look crept over the blonde's face. "I suppose it wasn't such a great idea to go without calling, huh?"

Ami couldn't help it; she laughed out loud, one hand over her mouth. Usagi's expression as usual was humorously priceless. The thought occurred to her that if she did not laugh at that moment she might end up crying instead.

-x-x-x-

"I'm sorry I gave you such short notice, I'm going back to Yukikura later this evening," Ami apologized to the raven haired woman sitting across from her. She ended up spending the night at Usagi's at the blonde's insistence, putting up zero resistance. Usagi had tried to engage her in a conversation about Makoto but she had had been unwilling to speak of any topics regarding the brunette. Usagi had known to leave the matter alone when Ami told her: I'm not avoiding the subject, I'd just rather not talk about that right now.

"Fair enough," the blonde said and neatly shifted the chat towards a lighter topic—professors Usagi hated during their university days. It brought much laughter to the two but later when Ami had lain in bed quite awake she recalled Makoto's parting words and the despair she had felt then. It was very much apparent the brunette had meant those words.

The following morning Ami contacted Rei hoping for a lunch meeting. Rei had agreed immediately.  
Unfortunately, Usagi was unable to join them since she had a prior engagement with Chibi-Usa planned and so for now it was just Ami and Rei sitting at a table for four in La Boheme, a well-known chain of Italian restaurants that also served Japanese cuisine.

"It's fine," Rei assured Ami, a smile on her face. She reached across the white linen covered table to lightly touch the back of Ami's hand, pausing for a moment. "It's really good to see you. It's been a while."

Ami had a feeling Rei was going to say something else and changed her mind at the last moment. _Was she going to ask about the dark circles under my eyes? No, she would not ask outright, Rei has always been very tactful about these things. _

"It has been, has it not?" Ami agreed, nodding, "Not since the wedding, which was wonderful by the way."

"Thank you." Rei smiled widely, "To be honest, I was so very nervous that day everything was a great big blur until I saw her..."

"I remember," Ami chuckled softly, genuinely as she recalled the day in question. "Saying you were a wreck would have been an understatement," the doctor joked.

"Come now, I wasn't that bad!" Rei countered, although her lips twitched in shared mirth.

"Oh, what do we have here? My wife and a young good-looking doctor holding hands shamelessly in front of me?"

Rei rolled her eyes at the melodramatic tones. Mina sat down next to the raven haired woman and they kissed, brief but loving in their greeting. Ami pinked slightly at the display of affection, a sudden ache in her chest materializing.

"Sorry I'm late guys, the new director is a real pain in the ass. Anyway, Ami, I'm so happy to see you!"

"Likewise!" Ami smiled in pleasure. She was truly delighted to have a chance to see Rei and Mina before leaving the city again. Correspondence every-so-often from Rei indicated their days were not usually so lax.

A few years earlier the doctor was surprised when Rei announced during a phone call she found someone she wanted to be with the rest of her life. What came as a larger surprise was the woman in question was none other than Minako. Mentioning it really was a small world had left Rei confused until Ami explained how she knew Minako Aino. Rei expressed amazement at not having run into Minako in university especially since they all went to the same one and considering the fact that Minako was very 'well-known' on campus. Ami could also swear she heard the lady-like Rei snort at the carefully phrased words. The one thing she had not detected from Rei was offense upon hearing the term and for that she was glad.

"Why didn't tell us you were going to visit?" Mina asked bluntly as she took a gulp of red wine. Small pleasantries had long been dealt with, and Ami knew it was time they moved onto meatier topics. Rei, the more reserved of the two, discreetly nudged her wife in the midsection and Ami pretended not to see.

"I came to see Makoto...it was somewhat impromptu." Honesty had always been Ami's policy and she had no intention of changing that now. These people were her friends; she trusted them and if she could not talk to them, then who could she talk to?

"Ehh, Makoto?" Mina gasped.

"Stop gawking, dear and out with it," Rei stated as she calmly took a sip of wine.

Ami threw a questioning glance in Rei's direction but said nothing before turning back to Mina. These two knew something, apparently. It made sense Mina would, she had remained very good friends with Makoto over the years.

"Have you spoken to her lately, Mina?" Ami held her breath, curious about the information the brunette might have disclosed. Had Makoto deemed what happened between them important enough to consult one of her friends? The thought that it might be a possibility gave her a tiny spark of happiness.

"Well...not lately, really. About two weeks ago I received a phone call from her but she was really out of it. She mentioned something about visiting you and possibly ruining your friendship but when I tried to get her to explain she clammed up saying she'd explain later. Whenever I tried to get her to talk about it she shut down. She's been avoiding my calls since then."

"I-I see," Ami said, her eyes downcast, her gaze fastened to the backs of her hands which rested in her lap. The spark flickered and disappeared, covered in a new tide of disappointment. Why did her heart insist that it had to be Makoto? She could feel the phantom caress of the brunette's atop her own at that moment. An acute feeling of loneliness washed over her.

"What happened, Ami?" Rei's soft query broke her trance and lifted her gaze back to her friends across the table. "Did you get to see her?"

Ami smiled, a tinge of melancholy visible in the expression. "She was not home."

A perturbed look was shared by the two women across from her and Ami could tell just from that glance how perfectly, comfortably in sync they were as a couple. Unconsciously, her hands came together under the table, her fingers linking.

"Mako and I...we..." Ami spoke slowly, thoughtfully, her aqua gaze focused on the untouched crimson liquid in the wineglass to the side of her half eaten pasta dish.

"We went to Otari Village for an overnight stay. Things were going well-well, I thought they were but I guess Makoto had other things on her mind. Sometimes I feel as if I pushed her into it."

Mina shook her head in denial. "I don't think so Ami. Whatever Makoto did, she did of her own volition, no matter what her thoughts might be."

"Grandma Hana said the same. She told me I needed to tell Makoto how I really feel. It is rather cowardly of me to feel relief at not having to confront her, isn't it?" She met their eyes thinking she would find concurrence of her assessment but was surprised to find understanding instead. How could she have forgotten her friends were so kind? Her eyes watered when she realized it.

Rei reached over the table and squeezed her shoulder. "Perhaps you don't feel quite ready yet, I do understand that much. I hope you are able to tell her soon," Rei smiled at her and Ami could not help but return it gratefully.

"Thank you, Rei, Mina."

"What are friends for?" The couple replied in unison. They glanced at each other in amusement before the three women broke out into laughter at the simultaneous response. From there the conversation moved on to lighter topics for the rest of the meeting. Occasionally, customers seated nearby could not help but smile and admire the three laughing women, despite their differences it was quite obvious they were great friends. It was a sweet sight indeed.

* * *

_A/N: La Boheme actually exists, but I couldn't even begin to tell you where the restaurants are located. And for those of you who were expecting a great confrontation...well, I did a rather mean thing didn't I? _


	18. A Helpful Hand

_The usual disclaimers apply._

_Thanks go to ReaderMarz for her excellent beta work._

* * *

Chapter Eighteen: A Helpful Hand

Two weeks had passed since Makoto returned to Tokyo, but thoughts of Ami, Yukikura, and Otari Village stayed with her. Despite distracting herself with work her thoughts constantly returned to Ami. In the midst of a simple chore, or while working on a report, Ami's face would float up from the depths of her mind, interrupting whatever trail of thought she was following. Once, while in the middle of brushing her teeth, she recalled Ami's face the moment she climaxed, sweet with ecstasy yet bitter with tears as she called out Makoto's name.

After the first week she decided to call someone who had the knack for romance down pat. Of course once Mina had answered her cell Makoto had not done much but mumble how she had ruined her and Ami's friendship. She could not bring herself to speak of the matter further when questioned by Mina. How could she begin to explain what happened when she couldn't quite understand all of it herself? She hesitated in answering any specific questions until the persistent blonde conceded with a sigh and switched topics. She had avoided all calls from Mina since then.

Her days were very much a blur, all melding into a blob of gray. Sleep did not come to her as it did before no matter how much she exercised and exerted herself during the day. Those nights she sat outside the small terrace of her living room staring out at the brightly lit spread of Tokyo before her. There was a certain beauty of the glittering city at night but even this she did not notice. If she had known it would be like this after sleeping with the doctor, would she still have made the choice? Makoto couldn't even answer that question. The thought she was doing the right thing by leaving Ami constantly warred with the guilt of hurting the woman. She was protecting herself from a life of love and complications and in doing so had exposed Ami to pain instead.

Then why was she not at peace? At the onsen they had agreed they were adults simply enjoying themselves. But that wasn't quite right there was more to it than that. It became more the moment Makoto discovered the depth of Ami's feelings. And it had scared her. She had fled in order to safeguard herself. It had been a cowardly thing to do, she recognized. But somehow she had not been able to stop herself from acting differently. Something that should have been simple had turned into one convoluted mess indeed.

-x-x-x-

She sighed.

"Kino-san?" The quiet inquiry from her left brought her to awareness. Her still fingers rested on the keyboard, the blinking cursor on the monitor impatiently awaiting the words she intended to type. In the middle of her third week back, Makoto still found herself consumed with thoughts of that certain short-haired doctor. Why had she succumbed to temptation of sleeping with Ami? It was a question she repeatedly asked herself.

"Kino-san, are you alright?" Amano, a student who occasionally worked as Makoto's lab assistant, repeated her soft query when Makoto didn't respond.

Clearing her throat, Makoto answered as she took the printed sheaf of papers the student held out to her, "Ah yes. Sorry about that. Let's talk about those numbers you mentioned last week."

Ami still at the back of her mind, she tried to focus on her work-related issues. Even so, using work as a distraction failed; she was not getting as much done as she hoped. After her meeting with the lab assistant Makoto decided to shut down the computer and go home. The day felt incredibly long as she made her way off campus towards the subway absently rubbing the back of her neck. The students still milling about the grounds waved goodbye when they recognized her and she half-heartedly waved back. Reaching down into her pocket to grab her cell phone when it began to chime, she thought it might be Mina calling again and received a pleasant surprise when Haruka's name showed up instead.

"Haruka!" A trickle of relief was apparent in Makoto's voice.

"Hey Mako-chan!" Haruka's husky tones came across loud, clear and curious, "Were you expecting someone else, cousin?"

-x-x-x-

"So Michiru's abroad?" Makoto asked as she followed the older woman the large single family house of the Tenoh-Kaioh family.

"Yes. Hotaru's with her. Apparently, she wanted some _girl time_with Michiru. No papa allowed. God knows where she picked up that phrase." Haruka plopped herself down onto the couch, throwing one leg over the other with ease. She looked quite relaxed and happy despite her grousing.

"Parenthood suits you," Makoto laughed but the humor died away quickly as she added, "unlike some people."

Haruka sighed. "This again. Mako, you'd make a fine parent if you only bothered to settle down, too. Actually it would be nice if you just found someone to be with."

Makoto rolled her eyes and loosened the second button of her shirt. She pretended not to hear Haruka's words. "Do you have any beer?"

"There's some _Asahi_ in the fridge. Help yourself. Could you get me one too?"

Makoto huffed as she got up from the armchair she had just settled into. She followed the hallway into the kitchen, as familiar with the layout of the house as she was with her own home. "I don't know why I'm serving you. It's your house, shouldn't it be the opposite?" She called back towards the living room as she grabbed two bottles from the lower shelf.

"It's because I'm older!" Haruka's voice was closer than Makoto expected. Surprise at the blonde's proximity caused her to bang her head on the fridge door as she straightened up. She had not heard Haruka's footsteps following her into the kitchen.

"Ow!" Rubbing the spot ruefully she passed the beer to Haruka who stood nearby with a bottle opener.

"That was quite a thud. You alright?" The blonde woman asked, standing by while holding the bottles.

"I will be in a minute. Don't concern yourself too much." Makoto commented somewhat sarcastically as she looked pointedly at the contents of Haruka's hands.

The blonde followed Makoto's gaze down to her hands firmly clasped around the bottle necks and grinned. "Eh, I knew you'd be fine. You have a hard head anyway." Bottle tops disposed of she passed her cousin a beer. "Bottoms up!"

Hip braced against the sink, Makoto took a big gulp, the cool bitter liquid a familiar and welcome sensation as it slid down her throat. Her shoulders relaxed as some of the tension within her eased its way out.

"So...Don't you think it's about time you tell me what has you so wound up?" Haruka stood in the same pose as Makoto, hips braced against the counter, arms folded over her chest. She appeared totally at home in her kitchen.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Makoto denied. Her body stiffened, the tension of earlier returning.

"Since when did you become such a big fat liar, Makoto Kino?" Haruka stared at the woman standing across from her.

"Who says I'm lying, Tenoh?" The brunette glared at her cousin. She took a sip of beer then continued to stare at Haruka defiantly.

"You are. Have you forgotten? I know you better than anyone else." Makoto's lips thinned into a firm line at the reminder from the blonde.

Haruka placed her bottle gently on the counter. "Enough of this." She waved her right arm in the air as if to swat away the tenseness between them. "Cut it out. We're not punky teenagers anymore. We've left those days long behind us. You've been scarce these days and I knew something was up but I thought I'd let you figure it out on your own. But I don't think that's happening here. So maybe it's time I butted in. What's eating you?"

If it had been anyone else backing Makoto into a corner like this she would have resisted to the very end. But looking at her cousin's face Makoto recalled all the times the blonde had been there for her. The gap between their ages was a mere two years but it had made all the difference. Haruka had taught her how to fight when she needed it to defend herself from children who did not know of sympathy and respect. Later, when fighting became troublesome, she taught Makoto how not to fight, to channel all the aggression and frustration the brunette felt into a genuine love for basketball. When all else failed she had always counted on Haruka. So why wasn't she now?

-x-x-x-

"So you said goodbye then, and haven't spoken to each other since?" Haruka asked calmly. Makoto couldn't read her, couldn't decipher whether the blonde was merely asking in order to understand the situation better or for another reason entirely.

"Yes," the brunette responded, looking out through the glass sliding doors into the backyard. They were sitting in the living room again, the second round of beverages untouched. The sun was setting, the golden afternoon light slowly seeping from the day to make room for an inky sky.

Haruka sighed and passed a hand over her forehead. "You really screwed up, this time. You really, really screwed up."

Makoto swallowed and asked the question plaguing her all this time. Utter sincerity shone through when she asked "What do I do? How do I fix it?"

The blonde looked at her so quickly Makoto was afraid she might have given herself whiplash. "You're asking for help?" Her tone was astounded.

Makoto nodded.

Amazement gave way to a grin as Haruka appraised her with new eyes. "Heh, will wonders never cease."

* * *

_A/N: Short chapter from Makoto's point of view. I had hoped to post this with chapter 19 but I am nowhere near done with that chapter. Hopefully I can get that up within the next few days. Thanks for your patience everyone! :) _

_Reader Yuki, thank you for commenting on chapter 17. :) I sincerely hope I don't screw up the confrontation when it happens!_


	19. Déjà Vu

_Disclaimer: All Sailor Moon characters belong to Naoko Takeuchi. _

_Beta'ed by ReaderMarz – arigatou gozaimasu! :) _

Chapter Nineteen: Déjà Vu

Tokyo Station, the busiest of all stations located in the large city teemed with all sorts of visitors intent on reaching their destinations. Announcements for arriving and departing trains were broadcasted overhead in a courteous if somewhat robotic monotone. A group of three, two adults and a child stood by one of the many idling trains. Goodbye hugs already dispensed, Chibi-Usa and her mother waved at Ami cheerily as she boarded the train car. "Goodbye, aunt Ami! Please visit us again!"

"Yes aunt Ami, please visit again. We miss you!" Usagi chimed in with a playful smile.

Ami smiled at the two females waving at her, so alike in their enthusiasm. If Usagi had been much younger, or Chibi-Usa much older, she would have sworn the two were siblings instead of mother and daughter.

"How would you like to visit me instead? The Fall festival will be here soon." Ami called back through the open doorway of the train car. The idea to extend an invitation had struck her the night before but with Makoto constantly in her thoughts all else had been delegated to the back of her mind.

Chibi-Usa turned and wide red eyes to her mother, "Could we, Mom?" The excited question was loud enough for Ami to hear over the bustling mass in the station.

Usagi smiled down at her daughter, then at Ami as she replied, "I don't see why not."

"Great! I'll give you a call later! Thank you, Usagi." The blonde woman stood a few feet away but Ami recognized the acknowledgment followed by compassion in those marine eyes at her worded thanks.

"Take care, Ami."

The doctor nodded at the kind words, unable to speak further past the sudden lump in her throat. An overhead announcement indicated it was time for her train to depart.

The train chuffed impatiently, and Ami gave one last wave as the doors smoothly slid shut. She made her way to an empty seat with a wide window. Less than half of the seats were taken in the car she sat in allowing her a bit of privacy. Rocking slowly, the train began its journey north picking up speed the moment it left the station behind. Ami was finally alone with her thoughts. The smile she wore for Usagi and Chibi-Usa straightened into a melancholy line; she simply felt drained and depleted of all positive emotions.

Glancing out the window, Ami absently took note as the various lights making up nighttime Tokyo flashed by. Lack of sleep coupled with mental and emotional exhaustion left her burnt out. In spite of her fatigue she felt she would not be able to sleep. Leaning back in her seat she made herself as comfortable as possible. She could hear the vague chatter of other passengers around her; it was a sound that easily blended with the clacking noise of the train as it rolled along the tracks. Streetlamps, car beams, neon signs and lit buildings approached and receded in the distance just as quickly as they appeared.

_Oh, Makoto, where are you now? Are you thinking of me at all? When will I see you again? _

She squeezed her eyes shut when she felt the tears well up. She truly thought she had no more tears left but was proven wrong at the excess moisture; however, she felt too tired to cry and wearily dabbed at the corners of her eyes. _I can't stay this way. I know I cannot return to the way things were but I need to get past this somehow._ She felt incapacitated in this state, unable to work, unable to think clearly. Had she ever imagined Makoto could make her feel this immobilized even at twenty-nine? Could she believe Hana and her friends when they said hold onto her feelings, Makoto would come around?

Ami yawned, the action taking her completely by surprise. Settling further into her seat she crossed her legs and her arms. In a state of apathy her eyes continued to follow the lights until slowly her lids drifted closed.

_Warmth. _

_A heat that could only come from Makoto. Ami opened her eyes, immediately coming into contact with the vivid green of the brunette's. There was no recognition in those eyes, just blankness as the brunette stared at her before removing her arms from around Ami's body. She shivered, feeling bereft the moment Makoto let her go. _

"_Makoto?" Her voice trembled, tones of uncertainty blooming the moment they left her lips and hit the air. The name lingered; a trail of hanging smoke in a windless room. _

"_Sorry, I have to go now," Makoto intoned monotonously. She waved to the doctor carelessly, "Take care, Ami." _

_Hearing those words caused a tiny seed of ice to form in her chest. Watching Makoto turn away from her, the seed exploded, a vacuous stretch of coldness spreading all over her body. _

"_Makoto! Wait! Please!" All the yearning within her rushed to the surface as she called out with her very being but the woman did not turn. Instead the brunette began to walk away, her footsteps silent over a carpet of gray grass. Ami could see mountains beyond, gray peaks jutting into a lifeless sky. _

"_Makoto! Please!" She called again, hoping the woman would turn around. It became apparent that Makoto would not and she decided to run after the departing woman._

_She tried to move; however, she discovered her legs were rooted to the spot where she stood. She could not move at all and when she looked down she noticed a lily pad under her feet. She looked up with the intention of calling for Makoto again but her voice died in her throat as water lilies shot up from the ground surpassing her in height. They surrounded her, a jungle of colorless stalks in all directions. _

"_Makoto! Makoto! Don't leave me here!" She called out once more. Tears flowed freely from her eyes as she peered through the stalks in vain search for the brunette. Looking down at her feet once more Ami could see the ground was not as solid she thought. The lily pads and water lilies emerged from a lake spread out directly under her. Peering over the edge, she observed a carp, its fins and gills barely giving any indication of movement. A realization came to her then-she had no reflection, in its place lay the passive fish. _

A shrill whistle of the train caused her to jolt awake, her legs immediately wrapped in the sensation of pins and needles. Her lower half had fallen numb while she slept, only to come alive uncomfortably as she shifted in her waking movements. She passed her hands over her face, recalling the dream. A painful pang struck her when she pictured Makoto's back and its ever-increasing distance.

The train whistled again and she glanced out the window. The impending dawn set fire to the far off horizon. Mountains interrupted the flat line where sky met land in a glow of pale blue, orange and crimson. She would be home soon.

-x-x-x-

Ami slid open the front door, happy to be home if nothing else. The tangible feeling of the wooden door under her hands comforted her. The last twenty-four hours seemed quite long indeed and she was ready for some rest. After that she could try figuring out what the dream meant. Surveying the entryway she froze, a feeling of déjà vu sweeping over her. This very display before her, had it really happened only three weeks ago? Except it had been evening then, not early morning... She stepped out of her shoes, standing in place for a moment, refusing to believe her eyes. The smell of toast and omelet wafted from the kitchen and her legs began to move in that direction, her heart thundering in her chest so loudly she could not hear anything else.

She paused at the doorway, speechless. Her lips quivered at the scene before her. Makoto stood in front of the stove, hands busy as she flipped an omelet onto a plate. She wore the apron Ami usually donned for meal-making and looked quite at home. Hana sat at the counter with a newspaper and she dutifully folded it and placed it on the counter the moment Makoto set the plate in front of her. Hana said something to the brunette and the brunette gave her a small smile in return. Whatever it was the older woman had said Ami did not hear. Perhaps because her heart was still beating too loudly to discern any other sounds around her.

"Makoto..." the name escaped her lips, a mere breath.

They stared at each other in silence. Ami observed Makoto, from her head down to her feet, her eyes roving all over the brunette. She instantly noticed the dark circles under emerald eyes, guilt in the green orbs. Despite her tan Makoto's complexion was pale. It was also quite obvious the tall woman was tense from the set of her shoulders. Even so Makoto looked gorgeous and Ami could not drag her eyes away. She wanted nothing more than to run to Makoto and embrace her but she held herself back. It was quiet, too quiet until Hana stood up, tucked her newspaper under her arm and picked up her cup of tea.

"Welcome home, Ami," the older woman said, squeezing her granddaughter's shoulder lightly before she exited the kitchen.

"I'm home," Ami responded absently, her gaze never shifting from Makoto's to realize Hana was already gone from the room.

-x-x-x-

"Ami is in Tokyo?" Makoto could see the woman was telling the truth and there was no reason to disbelieve her.

Hana nodded, "Yes. She will be back in the morning." The older woman began to walk away and realized Makoto had not moved from her position at the door. "Don't stand there gawking, child. Come in and shut the door behind you."

"Y-yes! Thank you!" Makoto stuttered, suddenly feeling very childish indeed. Finally working up the courage, she woke early that morning in the Aichi prefecture and set out for the long trip north. The day after her chat with Haruka, she headed west for work knowing she would take off for Yukikura the moment her business was concluded. Now that she was here she was at a loss the moment Hana mentioned Ami was away. Of all their friends, Makoto was the one most noted to jump into a situation headfirst without regard for consequence or safety. Now that she was here, she would have an entire night to reflect. And to wait. It was the idea of waiting that made her nervous.

She wondered how much Hana knew and was relieved the woman had not turned her away at the door. Makoto could feel the heaviness of Hana's gaze upon her while she bent to take off her shoes. Task completed she straightened up in front of the old woman. Hana was a few inches shorter than Ami but Makoto felt intimidated by the cool blue eyes staring at her. _She knows. _

The older woman sensed Makoto's need to speak and did not give her a chance. "I told myself I would not get involved in Ami's affairs. However I do have something to say. I have always thought you have a good head on your shoulders, Makoto. But you hurt Ami. You have also hurt yourself considerably. I thought you were smarter than that. But I suppose because you are here, you have learned something about yourself."

Makoto's next move surprised herself as much as she surprised Hana. She bowed low in front of the old woman. "Forgive me, Hana. You're right, and I have no words to excuse myself. I have been blind. I can only hope for forgiveness from you and from your granddaughter."

Hana shook her head with a sigh. "I have no need to forgive you, Makoto. Just make her happy. That is all I wish for."

Makoto straightened just in time to see Hana walk towards the kitchen. Her mouth hung open when the older woman asked, "Have you eaten yet? It is time for dinner."

* * *

_A/N: Next chapter brings us to the confrontation that is unavoidable. _

_Reader Yuki - thank you very much for the vote of confidence! :)_


	20. You Get Me

_Disclaimers: All characters belong to Naoko Takeuchi except Hana Masuyo. Chapter title and lyrics belong to singer-songwriter Teitur Lassen. _

_To my beta-chan, ReaderMarz: I always appreciate you taking the time to work on these chapters in return for virtual peanuts. Thank you. ;)_

_A/N: There is only one chapter left, the next one. That will be the epilogue where I plan to wrap things up. But fear not! Even if the story itself is complete I plan on posting extra chapters of fluff content for this particular universe. _

* * *

Chapter Twenty: You Get Me 

Ami stared and Makoto stared back, neither knowing where to start or how to break the silence. The innocuous smell of toast and eggs lingered in the air. Ami had in fact arrived home with the intention of immediately having breakfast before settling in to work. With Makoto's unexpected presence, appetite had been rudely shoved over to make way for shock. Ami suddenly realized how much smaller the kitchen felt when Makoto was there. Or maybe it only seemed that way because she was so aware of the other woman.

Ami was the first to speak. "I never expected I would find you here."

Makoto looked down at her feet, shame evident in the action. Immediately she looked back up, directly into Ami's eyes. "I wanted to see you...I wanted to apologize."

Those words served as a catalyst. Ami felt the dam holding every emotion she had felt regarding Makoto break within her. "How could you?" she beseeched, the buried pain of years finally exposed to the light of day. To the person she loved. "How could you just leave like that...I did not demand anything of you, I just wanted to spend time with you." She dropped down into the seat Hana vacated, unable to stand and face Makoto after the outburst.

"I'm sorry..." The brunette's words were filled with remorse but Ami in her current state could not figure out exactly why. Was Makoto apologizing because she left? Or was it in response to Ami's words of pain?

Ami raised her head wearily. She looked imploringly at Makoto. "Why now? What made you come back?"

The brunette did not speak for a moment, her face turned away. Her profile was unreadable, her head tilted down as if observing a very interesting spectacle happening on the floor.

"Well?" the doctor asked. Her tone was sharp, unapologetic, and demanding.

Makoto's lips moved soundlessly; she seemed to taste the words in her mouth before finally letting them spill from her lips, "Because...I love you."

If all was silent when she first spotted the tall woman standing in the kitchen, then now the world stood still for Ami. The earth stopped turning on its axis; the planet's rotation around the sun paused. Her lungs ceased to function and she waited for her next heartbeat. She had waited so long to hear those words spoken in Makoto's husky tremor, Ami thought perhaps she imagined them. Her confused blue gaze met unwavering green. Did Makoto really mean it?

"How can I trust those words?" Ami's voice trembled.

Makoto did not answer; instead she chose to ask a question of her own. "How long have you loved me, Ami?"

Ami's face drained of color.

"Please, answer. How long have you loved me?"

"Forever," was Ami's whisper. "From the moment I met you."

During the entire conversation the brunette had been standing next to the counter, close to Ami's seat. With the doctor's revelation she sagged back against the surface, her hands grabbing and holding on to the edges of the counter near her hips. She glanced down at Ami in wonder, "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Would you have accepted me?" Ami struck back lightning-quick, pain evident in her voice.

Makoto flinched, the rapid words striking her to the core. She licked her lips, "I..."

"You couldn't, Makoto. For a long time I hoped and dreamed you would stop seeing me as a child to be protected. Eventually I accepted that was how you would always see me. And then when you finally told me about your childhood, I understood why you pushed everyone away. I just...when I saw you finally showing some interest in me, it made me so happy. I was willing to take as much as you could offer."

Makoto gulped, "I was wrong...I see that now. I was wrong for having that mindset. And I was wrong for leaving. I just couldn't trust myself around you."

"I want to believe you! I really do. With some help I even went to your apartment to finally tell you how I felt. It was so devastating when you weren't there." Ami's gaze was direct, her voice miraculously even as she spoke.

Makoto dropped to her knees beside the doctor's seat, and Ami was was now the one looking down into the brunette's face. She took Ami's hands in her own, laying their embraced palms in the smaller woman's lap. The tactile sensation of the brunette's skin touching Ami's own evoked the memories of their time in Otari Village, of the time they spent in bed with nothing between them. Nothing, except Makoto's stubborness.

"Please believe me! I want to be with you."

Makoto relinquished the hold on Ami's hands and reached for the sides of the doctor's face instead. Face suffused with sudden color, Ami was reduced to a statue. One that could think, breathe and feel while frozen in place. At Makoto's touch her heart banged against its ribcage confines: a bird of fluttering frenzied motion. Her breath grew ragged. This was all it ever took. A touch from Makoto. A look. A certain word. Combined they all left her feeling as if the ground had crumbled away from under her feet and she would fall at any moment.

Except Makoto was here to catch her. She was suddenly swept up in the brunette's arms, her body crushed to Makoto's own as the tall woman stood. Underneath her feet the world still felt uncertain and her fears coalesced into a whisper absconding past her quivering lips, "Mako...don't let me fall."

The entreaty did not fall on deaf ears. Makoto tightened her grip around Ami, pulling the smaller woman closer, ensuring there was no space left between their bodies. "I won't! I promise. Please, give me a chance to let me love you the way you deserve."

Ami's arms rose from her sides to embrace Makoto, allowing herself to clutch fistfuls of the back of the brunette's shirt. She could feel the heat of Makoto's flesh beneath the cotton. She could feel it through the clothing and the apron. Her head sagged against the taller woman's chest and she hoped that was enough of an answer. She felt too exhausted to speak.

Makoto simply held her, seeming to understand that was all she needed.

_If I say no, if I resist_  
_If I don't give in to this_  
_Would it be a lesson or a loss?_

_Suddenly I know what it's about_  
_Thoughts come in, and words come out_  
_Suddenly I'm not killing time_  
_It's all over now_

_You get me_  
_You get me_

_Like a beautiful song_  
_You heard a million times_  
_Like the rainbow's end_  
_You can never find_

_You get me_  
_You get me_

_If I say yes, if I let go_  
_And face the consequence I'll know_  
_Will it lead to living with regret?_

_Suddenly the walls are coming down_  
_I won't be the same when I come around_  
_Suddenly I am understood_  
_It's all over now_

_You get me_  
_You get me_

_Like a crimson sunset_  
_Where the sky meets sea_  
_Like no one alive_  
_But lives in my dreams_

_You get me_  
_You get me_  
_You get me_  
_You get me_

_Like a beautiful song_  
_You heard a million times_  
_Like the rainbow's end_  
_You can never find_

_It's hard to ignore_  
_And undeniable, too_  
_This feeling inside_  
_When I look at you_

_You get me_  
_You get me _

-x-x-x-

They sat in the courtyard enraptured by the sights and sounds of a day winding down. A leisurely breeze brought the scents of flowers-phlox, lilies, lavender; hints and whiffs of fragrances that heightened the sensation of being wrapped in sunlight and warmth. With Ami's face washed in the colors of sunset, Makoto thought she had never looked more beautiful. Ami wore a dreamy smile on her lips, in her eyes a faraway look lingered.

Makoto bent low, her mouth next to the smaller woman's ear. The scent of Ami's hair enveloped her: a crisp cool scent that reminded her of rain. It was a smell that left her feeling refreshed while setting her at ease. Her lips curved upwards into a smile. "What are you thinking of?" she whispered the question, intentionally teasing the skin of Ami's neck and ear with her breath.

Ami smiled in delight, a hand reaching up to touch the places where Makoto's warm breath tickled her. The brunette caught Ami's thumb gently between her teeth as she awaited the doctor's answer. "You love me."

"Mmmhmm," Makoto hummed, nodding with Ami's thumb still in her mouth. Throughout the day she made sure to convey those three words to the doctor. She had not known how good it would feel to say those words, or to see how much joy it brought the other woman. Seeing Ami that happy made her own chest swell in pleasure. It was a heady, euphoric feeling. And she wanted to experience it with no one other than Ami. She swiped her tongue alongside the smaller woman's finger and received a gasp in return.

The taste of Ami's skin coupled with the exhalation caused Makoto to crave the smaller woman's lips. She released Ami's thumb and aimed for the doctor's mouth instead, closing the gap between their lips quickly. Ami welcomed her kiss, lips parting readily to permit her entrance. Makoto lost herself in the taste of Ami; a familiar sensation yet it excited and electrified her all at once. She belonged with Ami. To Ami. Her body had known even while her brain fought it.

"_You love her." Haruka stated without preamble. _

_Makoto could not have been more surprised if she had been walking and ran out of ground. "What?" _

_Haruka rolled her eyes. "I know you're not deaf. You're in love with Ami." She sat upright and reached for one of the beer bottles. _

"_But...How?" _

_The blonde shrugged. "Who knows why or how we fall in love. What I do know is sometimes there are people who come into our lives and change them irrevocably. Sometimes they move on and it's okay. And sometimes you can't help but need that person to stick around, to stay with you for the rest of your life. For me that person is Michiru. I've known it since the first day I met her...Just don't tell her I said that." _

_Makoto sputtered in unexpected amusement at her cousin's last sentence and Haruka smiled as well. _

"_Joking aside, I think Ami is the one for you. Could you imagine not having her in your life?" Haruka continued after a moment. _

_The brunette contemplated the idea. No visits to Yukikura, no time spent with Ami. The thought left her feeling oddly empty. For the past couple of years the visits to the doctor were what she looked forward to the most. She shook her head, "I can't imagine it. But how does that equate to me being in love with her? Couldn't it just mean I would miss my friend?" _

"_God, I love you but you're dense, Mako." _

The conversation with Haruka certainly made more sense now. She had left her cousin's house pondering the blonde's words. If they were really meant to be just friends then Makoto would not be experiencing a great need to be with the doctor. She would not crave Ami's touch or kisses. She would not feel reassured that all was right with the world if Ami was not there to keep her centered. She would not receive the simple satisfaction of being happy because Ami was happy. She understood all of it now. She needed Ami. She also finally understood that her fear of turning into someone like her mother was groundless; she was not like her mother. And Ami was not like her father.

Their lips parted and Makoto smiled. Ami's head tilted to the side, her pthalo eyes questioning although her lips curved upwards into a smile. Makoto shook her head chuckling in a self-deprecating manner.

"Haruka called me dense," she answered to Ami's unspoken question. Makoto's hands gently grasped the sides of Ami's head, her fingers threading through the short blue strands at the woman's temple. Her self-deprecating smile dimmed, morphing into a gentle smile as she stared at Ami, absorbing the large blue eyes, pert little nose, and pink lips that smiled back at her sweetly.

"I get it now though. I don't want to be with anyone else but you for the rest of my life."

Ami's eyes watered; she had waited a very long time to hear those words, after all.

-x-x-x-

Hana sat with her legs folded under her. The watercolor sunset splashed on the floor not far from where she sat forming perfectly slanted bars of light. Commingled laughter from Ami and Makoto drifted in on a breeze from the inner courtyard; bells and chimes of happiness. Hana's eyes lit with warmth, her lips forming a smile of her own. Her glance fell on the letter she was currently composing.

'_Dearest Keiko, _  
_I am very well. There is no need for me to worry so much lately, in fact I believe there may be cause for celebration...'_

Her azure eyes, not quite the same as Ami's but quite blue nonetheless, continued to scan the page covered in a neat script. Her pen gracefully crawled over the paper when she resumed writing. The smile did not leave her face.

* * *

_Well, there you have it. I hope this chapter was satisfactory and to readers who did not find it so, I apologize. I tried my best, it was a difficult chapter to write in the beginning. Nevertheless, I thank you for reading. :) _

_If you're interested in listening to Teitur's music, he has some songs on youtube but not the one used in this particular chapter. He does have a myspace page with several albums on there however. 'You Get Me' is the third track on the album 'Stay Under the Stars'._


	21. Epilogue

_The usual disclaimers apply. _

_Beta'd by ReaderMarz, thank you! :) _

* * *

Epilogue

Makoto sighed in satisfaction as she placed the box on the floor and squeezed her way through the many boxes across the room to the open window. She had worked up quite a sweat and the cool springtime breeze felt incredible on her overheated skin. Ami grinned at her from across the room, footsteps light as she gracefully navigated towards the brunette and the window. She slid her arms around Makoto and although the tall woman felt quite hot she welcomed the smaller woman into her arms. She bent just as Ami stood on tiptoes, their lips lightly brushing together. Makoto felt a familiar stirring within her the moment Ami's lush lips touched hers. A different kind of heat pulsed gently inside her.

She felt Ami's cool slender hands on her forearms before the small woman slid them in feather-light touches up her arms to rest on her shoulders. Fingernails gently scraped against exposed skin at the nape of Makoto's neck and the tall woman drew in a deep breath. The woman in her arms gave her a sweet little smile. But Makoto knew there was more to the eye here. She was being toyed with. Her eyes narrowed as she mock-glared at Ami.

The doctor giggled, perusing the room before returning her attentions back to the brunette, "Is that the last one?"

"Yes," Makoto sighed in relief, a smile growing on her lips. She leered at the doctor, wriggling her eyebrows, "Want to take a break?"

"A break does-ah! Mako!" the doctor shrieked in surprise and laughter, her response interrupted the moment Makoto's strong hands glided down from the middle of her back to grasp the small woman's rear firmly with both hands. She moaned softly when Makoto pulled her closer.

The brunette leaned in; her lips achingly close to Ami's. She could feel Ami's exhalations against her own lips and yearned to kiss them. Instead she pressed her lips to the column of the smaller woman's throat. Makoto felt Ami's response when the hands on her shoulders pressed into her flesh.

"Makoto...as much as I'd love to right now...Grandma Hana is expecting us in the kitchen," Ami gasped out; she did not release her hold on the brunette, however.

Makoto leaned in to kiss the corner of Ami's lips, muttering as she did, "I'd rather have you...right here." She finally captured the doctor's lips with her own. It was a breathtaking kiss, seeming to last forever even though it was only a mere moment. Ami's lips were pliant under hers, accepting, no, welcoming every sweep of her tongue. She could feel the rapid beating of the smaller woman's heart, her own pounding just as hard. They broke apart for air, gazes intensely tangled in recognition of what they shared.

The botanist caressed the side of Ami's face, waiting for her brain to form the words her heart felt and knew to be true, "Thank you for loving me, Ami."

She could tell her words affected the doctor but the woman merely winked at her and huskily replied, "Wait until I get you into bed tonight!" Before Makoto could properly respond, Ami sauntered out of the room.

Makoto felt a grin grow on her face. It had only been eight months since she returned to Yukikura and confessed her feelings. Ami had changed; the smaller woman had always carried herself with a quiet, if reserved confidence but now she seemed lighter somehow, more carefree. The tall woman felt quite different herself and she knew it was attributed to the fact that she finally allowed herself to love and be loved in return. It was so simple really, and she couldn't quite understand how she hadn't realized it all these years. But somehow Ami had broken through the stone wall she built around herself. Makoto fully understood it hadn't been easy for the doctor; nevertheless, she was quite happy that it was Ami who had done it.

She glanced around the room, taking in all the unopened boxes arranged on the floor. Those boxes contained her life, the things she deemed important enough to bring with her: books, mementos, work related items and her clothing. Her furniture she had either sold or given away. The lease to her apartment was fast approaching the expiration date and she had not bothered to renew it. She still retained her position as a field researcher at the university. Technology had made the transition from Tokyo to Yukikura quite simple, through emails and video conferencing she could communicate with her co-workers and the department head. She would still have to travel but instead of returning to Tokyo, she would be returning to Yukikura. To a place where she felt like she finally belonged instead of a place to rest in between her travels.

The doctor had been quite concerned about the brunette and her position at the university; after all, Makoto had worked diligently to get where she was. She reassured the small woman, stating she could live anywhere and do anything as long as she was together with Ami. She did not want the doctor to give up the clinic; it was something that had once been very important to Hana and was now just as important to Ami.

Lost in her thoughts she was interrupted by Ami's voice floating down the hallway from the kitchen, "Mako! Are you coming?"

"I'll be right there!" she called back as she glanced around the bedroom she now shared with Ami. She walked out of the room with a smile, following the steps of the smaller woman. She was finally home.

* * *

_A/N: And here we are finally. It's been a heck of a ride. Thank you so much to everyone who read, commented, followed and added this story to your favorites! Your words of encouragement helped me move forward with this tale to the best of my ability. I can only hope you are all pleased with the outcome. Thank you! :) _


End file.
